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Post Reply How do you perceive manipulation?
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Posted 1/10/16

Morbidhanson wrote:



I like that analogy.

I'm of similar thought. Another word is "persuasive". The line between the word used to describe the behavior or individual is probably similar to the evaluation between "good" versus "bad". I have mentioned the intent of the underlying motive, you have added the weight of benefits reaped, and another angle to evaluate it on is perhaps the degree of transparency.


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26 / M / Definitely not EU
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Posted 1/10/16
I'm sure most people who manipulate doesn't even put this much thought into it beyond their own benefit.
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32 / M / Floridamned
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Posted 1/10/16
No one goes untouched by manipulation. From a man named Mayhem sassing your cut-rate insurance to no ice cream til you finish your peas, it's everywhere. There's no escape from it. The only thing you can do is build a healthy level of skepticism and try to understand why.

Manipulation isn't necessarily bad though. There's parental guidance and children need to be shown "the right way" sometimes. They have to learn what society expects from them and eventually what it will do to them if they stray too far. Positive and negative reinforcement with a child on a smaller scale can help prepare them for that.

It also happens every time someone shares their opinion of you. Many people have come to practice the idea of not caring what other people think. Skepticism again can be healthy. However, others comments of you can be quite useful. It let's you know where you stand with them, who could be a friend, who to avoid, and even insight into how you could manipulate them.

Lying reflexively feels bad to me. While some argue that a "white lie" could be benign or even helpful to another. I think there are two main uses. To put distance between two people when one doesn't want to get so personal(the benign), and to inspire hope and ideas that things are better than they might actually be(the helpful). With my ex, one of the things I offered (and to a point demanded from her) was absolute honesty. (That is outside of mutually desired activities where dishonesty is wanted or serves some strategic purpose.) I would always offer and desire the truth even it was harsh or disappointing. Understanding is intrinsic to intimacy and a healthy relationship. With others, while I still abstain from comment where I feel appropriate and sometimes incorporate misdirection, I've started trying to be honest in all my interactions. I feel it's made my life to some extent easier and happier.

Do you prefer those given the label of manipulative versus those labeled honest assholes?-PJ

I don't believe these are exclusive. You can be wholly honest and quite harsh and use that to manipulate their behavior the way you want. I'm going to guess you're talking about a person using deception to pretend to be your friend or butter you up to get what they desire from you. In that case, yes I'd much prefer the honest asshole. The other is a betrayal or a yes man and I detest both. I suppose trolls fall into this category of deceptive manipulation too, but can to a point be amusing.

In terms of bad manipulation, there's the deceptive betrayal I mentioned. As well as extremes leading to someone losing their sense of self such as brainwashing, or using misinformation to cause someone less able to come to accurate conclusions like false advertising and media control.


scoobydew wrote:
Can be bad but when a lot of you people get married you might change your mind. Women can manipulate your partner/husband with sex and usually its a win win situation for both parties. I get how people tag the negative but there are some good styles

Men can manipulate with sex/intimacy too. I've ended many arguments by closing my partners mouth with mine. I believe it also led to her readily becoming more sassy, to which I could appreciate both her adjustment and expectation.
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Posted 1/10/16

PrinceJudar wrote:

What is manipulation? Let me walk you through questions I'd inquire to answer such:

When you hear the word manipulation, do you immediately react with "bad"?

Does there exist "good" forms of manipulation?


Art is manipulation.
Which gets more reaction,
Posted 1/10/16 , edited 1/10/16
Most examples I have seen in my experience specifies a negative impression on manipulation. However as someone who is aware of the situational circumstance of an individual I know that the meanings behind why people do things will evidently hold more depth than what is on the surface, or to what is even known to the individual themselves. Because of common use and integration of my environment, I am more prone to having negative feelings associated with it.

Yes, there are good forms of manipulation. You said it best yourself, "ethical evaluation of the underlying motive", I would add 'set by a given society standard' to the end of that but that may be a bit too obvious. Again, once more with "To exploit another in self interest or to exploit with the primary interest of another". As a Community Builder I implement features in J-Pop Culture or structures not currently existing in the community. After genuinely maintaining them for periods of time and expanding my implementations I tend to gain a following who enjoys the work that I do, and proclaim such a thing. All while I advocate positive ideals and tendencies to help promote the community as a whole. This generates sensation and hype for anybody genuinely following the work I do, and I know that, that's why I do it. It takes people's legitimate interest into their passions and utilizes them to generate a sensation that promotes healthy community tendencies. But I am aware of that from the beginning so it's definitely some form of manipulation, but from my sense and experience, a very positive one.

Yes we all could be considered a perpetrator of manipulation at some point in our lives. In one of it's several interpretations or generalizations, I'm more than positive it is unavoidable completely. To label them all would be nearly impossible, for given the circumstance any intention, feeling or thought could be applied to manipulation, regardless how good or bad it's participants would perceive it. I'd want to give explanation to it but I feel like it'd be so generalized it could be summed up by terms like action in result.

It could definitely be seen as a skill, and I do acknowledge that to a certain degree. As I said before, as a Community Builder I am betting on manifesting this sensation and what people do while apart of it. Could it be called contrivance? After reading it's definition it's certainly applicable to my situation but I have never considered it until this point. Perhaps I should ponder over the matter as an alternative to my typical explanation.

No preference either way, it is what it is, in the end.
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32 / M / In hiding? -NOVA
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Posted 1/10/16
I prefer reality management. If I allow others to better see solutions in both of our interest, is it really such a sin to help them?
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Posted 4/3/16
Manipulation tends to imply that you taking advantage, of flaws in someone thinking.
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20 / Cold and High
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Posted 4/3/16
Manipulation can be used for many "good" things to, just that people wont notice those things.
But I think its quite hard to know if the manipulation did "good" or "bad".
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Posted 4/3/16
Sales talk
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