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Post Reply Are you able to easily leave a terrible relationship?
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Posted 1/11/16
i typically end up moving away. so yes, i put several hundred miles between me and the other person.
Posted 1/12/16 , edited 1/12/16
From my experience, no, & I would suspect anyone else who has ever been in a serious relationship would say the same. Love isn't all fluffy feelings & warmth, it's equal parts tension & conflicting emotions. But when there's no longer a balance & it's predominately tension, the painful realization of an inevitably failed relationship sets in & that makes us act in a number of different ways, but one of them is almost never "just walk away". Even the most emotionally distant people can't just shut off their emotions to that extent.
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Posted 1/12/16
I'm apparently not. I'm in one right now with a girl who i've known since elementary school. We've been seeing eachother for a couple of months now and she came to me and filled me in to what's been going on in her life since we parted ways for different schools. She basically needed someone to be a positive anchor in her life so she could get her life back together but while I try to be there for her she leaves me in the dark and treats me as if i'm only here when she needs someone to do something for her.
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Posted 1/12/16
No, I have too much of a soft heart just hearing someone "sad" when im about too talking too anthoer person make me fall into guilt
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16 / M / U.A Highschool
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Posted 1/12/16

Tehnery wrote:

No, I have too much of a soft heart just hearing someone "sad" when im about too talking too anthoer person make me fall into horrible a guilt trip


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Posted 1/12/16
I've seen some pretty darn terrible relationships around me but fortunately I'm in a great one... The question doesn't really apply to me since I've never had to face it- You can't really predict something until you've at least been through something similar
Posted 1/12/16
Don't know
Posted 1/12/16
Yep, I leave with the quickness. Life is to short to be dealing with that bullshit.
Posted 1/12/16 , edited 1/12/16
Don't know. Never been in a relationship. I'd probably leave it though because I tend to be kind of cold when it comes to not seeing people anymore.
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46 / F / Reston, VA, USA
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Posted 1/12/16

Dariamus wrote:

Serious relationships are never easy to leave.

Even bad ones.


This is true. In fact the deeper you get involved, the more difficult it can be to extract yourself from a bad relationship. It's easy to say "goodbye" when you're just dating. But once you move in together and your finances get somewhat intertwined or there are kids involved it can be a lot more difficult. In most states, once someone starts using an address as their residence, you have to go through a lot of paperwork to evict them legally - you can't just throw their stuff out the window and change the locks. Some people are financially unable to leave because they can't afford to make the change - if you move into a new place you have to pay the security money, plus the first two months rent, plus all the fees to turn on the utilities...if you don't have some savings put away this can be impossible. Finding a roommate makes it more possible, but not always an option. Also if you have kids and want to move it can mess with what school they can go to and cause a lot of other issues especially if you move mid school year.
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Posted 1/12/16
I used to be the type that people would easily manipulate into staying in some shitty friendships even. Some years ago, no I wouldn't be able to.

In general now though--yes I could. I've gotten a lot better at cutting people out, perhaps even too quickly. However, if the relationship has been going on for years, I don't think many, including myself, would have an easy time leaving it.

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Posted 1/12/16

Dariamus wrote:

Serious relationships are never easy to leave.

Even bad ones.


This
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23 / M / Finland, city of...
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Posted 1/12/16

PrinceJudar wrote:

I used to be the type that people would easily manipulate into staying in some shitty friendships even. Some years ago, no I wouldn't be able to.

In general now though--yes I could. I've gotten a lot better at cutting people out, perhaps even too quickly. However, if the relationship has been going on for years, I don't think many, including myself, would have an easy time leaving it.



yeah,during those years you develop things called feelings for each other.Human ain't an machine~~
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Posted 1/12/16
Ive been in two. Got myself out little late then needed the first time, almost right away the second. I wont waste a second thinking about it a third if that time ever comes again. Relationships suck.
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32 / M / Floridamned
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Posted 1/12/16
I like tsunderes
I appreciate a woman that's ready to give me criticism and perhaps a bit of sass when she thinks I can take it. Yet at the same time ready to share love without too much fuss.

Serious answer:Terrible relationship is quite a relative phrase. I wouldn't say I've been in something I'd consider that, but I'll share.
I recently separated from my girlfriend of several years. While still in love, I realized that it was probably better for us to go our own way. It wasn't easy though. I had become emotionally dependent on a physical level. Sappy emotions aside, when I thought about us I would tense up(even waking from sleep), feel nervous pain, nausea, and sometimes heave as I were going to vomit. It was somewhat similar to going through withdrawals of some addictive drug. It took time, but eventually I built a big enough wall.


Laudrano wrote:
I'm apparently not. I'm in one right now with a girl who i've known since elementary school. We've been seeing eachother for a couple of months now and she came to me and filled me in to what's been going on in her life since we parted ways for different schools. She basically needed someone to be a positive anchor in her life so she could get her life back together but while I try to be there for her she leaves me in the dark and treats me as if i'm only here when she needs someone to do something for her.

While she may appreciate your support, it sounds like you're being used. I would suggest taking steps to redefine your relationship.

I have an old friend that's spent a good year being friendly to a woman and attending to her emotional needs. She never returns his affection. Women aren't like they are in many stories. You can't win a person's affection through devotion. They have to realize their desire for you on their own.
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