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Post Reply What do you call someone who can't handle confrontation?
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 1/14/16
My Turn:

I have a problem with conflict. I hate it. I hate the feeling I get when I'm near it. I can't stand arguing with people because it leaves me feeling terrible. I can't even handle heated debates because I get nervous and on edge. I try to be a good enough person by not pissing people off. I can't stand getting someone angry because I would feel horrible for it. My thoughts will become dark and heavy if I make anyone upset. I try to please people and make them happy because I don't want them to stay mad at me or hate me. I can't handle being hated because it's like the person wants me dead. All in all I can't handle confrontation because I feel bad for the other person. I've been this way since I was a little girl. I would like to change myself for the better but don't know how. Has anyone ever felt this way? If not then do you have some advice. I know I'm asking a lot from you CR users but anything helps. Yes, this is a problem that will take time but I worry. I get that I am too nice of a person and that can lead to certain problems. I was unsure if I should make this thread because it might be troubling but I wanted to. So any advice would be helpful.


How do I just suck it up and handle this problem that I have with conflict?


Posted 1/14/16 , edited 1/15/16
Introverted
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 1/14/16


I'm sorry but what does that mean?
Posted 1/14/16

qualeshia3 wrote:



I'm sorry but what does that mean?


It's a personality type where the person is averted to confrontations.
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Posted 1/14/16

40YearOldVirgin wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:



I'm sorry but what does that mean?


It's a personality type where the person is averted to confrontations.


Oh okay.
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21 / M / U.S.A.
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Posted 1/14/16 , edited 1/14/16
That depends. Is the person someone who says something extreme and expects everyone to fall in line with it? Cuz I just call people like that annoying. Probably almost got banned because of someone like that. Hmm.

Jk. I guess it's kind of natural if you really and truly don't want to piss people off. Lots of people are set in their ways, and if someone challenges them they GOTTA CALL THE AUTHORITIES because your opinion offends them or something like that.
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Posted 1/14/16 , edited 1/14/16
According to 8man, the expert on teenage socio-psychology, that's called a "monster of self-consciousness"


-let it go~
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 1/14/16

XxDarkSasuxX wrote:

That depends. Is the person someone who says something extreme and expects everyone to fall in line with it? Cuz I just call people like that annoying. Probably almost got banned because of someone like that. Hmm.

Jk. I guess it's kind of natural if you really and truly don't want to piss people off. Lots of people are set in their ways, and if someone challenges them they GOTTA CALL THE AUTHORITIES because your opinion offends them or something like that.


I try to please people and it isn't really good.
Posted 1/14/16 , edited 1/15/16

qualeshia3 wrote:

My Turn:

I have a problem with conflict. I hate it. I hate the feeling I get when I'm near it. I can't stand arguing with people because it leaves me feeling terrible. I can't even handle heated debates because I get nervous and on edge. I try to be a good enough person by not pissing people off. I can't stand getting someone angry because I would feel horrible for it. My thoughts will become dark and heavy if I make anyone upset. I try to please people and make them happy because I don't want them to stay mad at me or hate me. I can't handle being hated because it's like the person wants me dead. All in all I can't handle confrontation because I feel bad for the other person. I've been this way since I was a little girl. I would like to change myself for the better but don't know how. Has anyone ever felt this way? If not then do you have some advice. I know I'm asking a lot from you CR users but anything helps. Yes, this is a problem that will take time but I worry. I get that I am too nice of a person and that can lead to certain problems. I was unsure if I should make this thread because it might be troubling but I wanted to. So any advice would be helpful.


How do I just suck it up and handle this problem that I have with conflict?




I'm same like you! I'm the type that easily get mad at people but after a few minutes, I feel guilty and that feelings is killing me as if I was dead wrong.even though I was obviously right to get angry . I hate this feelings.
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Posted 1/14/16

TripleBakaKimidori wrote:

According to 8man, the expert on teenage socio-psychology, that's called a "monster of self-consciousness"


-let it go~


Never can go wrong with the 8man. These people are called "harmonizers" according to my career test thing that my college supports. I got this result so I should know.
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30 / M / Minnesota, USA
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Posted 1/14/16
When I casually talk to people I try and talk calmly, meant to relax and make the people I'm talking to more comfortable. I have a problem with conflict, especially with my dad. When I talk calmly and think about what I'm saying its a lot easier to deal with things and people. When they start getting a heated or angry conversation I somewhat have a advantage. Its a lot easier to leave the conversation when I start out that way.

This may not help you much or at all, but its about all I have to suggest
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21 / M / U.S.A.
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Posted 1/14/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


XxDarkSasuxX wrote:

That depends. Is the person someone who says something extreme and expects everyone to fall in line with it? Cuz I just call people like that annoying. Probably almost got banned because of someone like that. Hmm.

Jk. I guess it's kind of natural if you really and truly don't want to piss people off. Lots of people are set in their ways, and if someone challenges them they GOTTA CALL THE AUTHORITIES because your opinion offends them or something like that.


I try to please people and it isn't really good.

This is why I cbf with to be politically correct. But I respect your decision to traverse down that dark path.
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Posted 1/14/16 , edited 1/15/16
Don't try changing yourself. You are fine the way you are as you seem to be a person who empathizes with other's emotions well whereas I am the complete opposite. But, if you really want to change, just stop giving a crap about what other people think and try pushing your boundaries a bit. Say you wouldn't say something before because it might piss somebody off: say it anyway. Say this one girl( or dude if you are a chick) is trying to hit on your sweetie. Punch them in the balls( or slap them in the boobs). Anyways, eventually you will become so cold-hearted that you will become Sasuke and basically not give af about anybody but yourself. XD. But seriously, stop giving af about what others think its your life not theirs.
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24 / M / USA
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Posted 1/14/16 , edited 1/15/16
Conflict-averse. People pleaser.

There's such a thing called being too nice. You'll be frustrated with how you overthink the reaction of others (something unpredictable and thereby more stressful). You'll punish yourself beyond the reaches anyone should be doing. Since you would not do many things onto others, it will make you sensitive to the many things people do onto you (how could they possibly? I would never!) The worst part is though, you'll be upset with your blandness--the lack of voice you have buried beneath all the masking you do to prevent hurting people. You will lose who you are in the process. Is this me? Or is this me? Which is me?

The only problem is you can't change it on your own. You need the pain of people manipulating you--something that will happen to you inevitably at some point in your life. You need to get hurt before you'll be able to overcome something you have so embedded. The only problem is when that will happen. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

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Posted 1/14/16

40YearOldVirgin wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:



I'm sorry but what does that mean?


It's a personality type where the person is averted to confrontations.


That's different from someone who can't handle confrontation. I am an infj, and I hate confrontation, but when it happens I can handle it just fine, in fact it makes me feel better.
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