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Post Reply When should we care/feel about others?
Posted 1/18/16

Lifthrasir wrote:



nah, i don't have the intent of getting closer. i like keeping my distance.
i just throw them a cookie and leave thereafter.


I don't like fakes or being someone's" Charity Case". If someone comes out of the blue offering me a shoulder to cry upon, I wonder what their angle is, and beyond the pleasantries just regard them with distrust and suspicion. Noone likes being toyed with or rped if they're feeling low. Sometimes anyone to talk to is great. Its just that they never stay interested when they see how boring real depression can be, speaking from experience.

As for the OP, I do all the time play the devil's advocate, but usually let others offer comfort and support. Whenever I do it, it seems unnatural and the other person is uneasy because of the uncharacteristic niceness or generosity. I tried to talk to someone on here on my buddies list and it felt forced and tense . Sometimes I can't bridge the gap b/c of my emotional distance. But I am always wanting to help others feel better without a way to, so I leave it to them to make the first move if any, or it sadly doesn't get done. I leave a person alone that wants to be left alone, because I have my own problems to be drowning in theirs as well. I'm there for my buddies, but I'm also not stupid enough to rely on them for comfort, either. Its more reliable to look offline for that in my opinion.
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Posted 1/18/16

melodyXXnur wrote:

When they care about you too.





potentsativa wrote:

When it comes naturally to you


nice little rhyme ya'll go goin on here
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Posted 1/18/16
I thought I was cynical until I read this thread.

I try to limit my care towards others these days--much too tiring otherwise. I tend to give honest advice rather than than a pillow of comfy lies. There are a lot of people with depression (or angst) that are not looking to help themselves, but instead prefer to use and manipulate people's sympathies. Due to this, I don't bother with people not trying to get better. I do not put up with being treated like shit so someone else can feel a little bit better until the next time they feel like using me.

Don't sit there and grieve 'Life is too painful', ask me 'What can I do?' or 'How can I get better?'.

People should care when they can tell another person needs support in their efforts--not when a person needs to use them as their private tow truck and tissue box.

Obviously it's impossible to help or care for everyone, but in general it may be worth it for those that approach you.

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Posted 1/18/16


when you accept someones feelings.... or not... damn it Griffith!
Posted 1/18/16 , edited 1/18/16
When you feel compassion
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Posted 1/18/16
I wouldn't know. Never had the luxury of giving a shit about someone else. Unless you want to include immediate family members, but even then I wouldn't call that much.
Posted 1/18/16
What? I don't understand the question.
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Posted 1/18/16

It's one of the reasons why I choose to keep my distance and have become so cynical and cautious when it comes to it; there have been people who have doubted my kindness towards them as if I have an ulterior motive, so instead I get bitten. I don't know what some people I come into contact with have gone through to have developed that type of perspective but i'm not going to blame them for it, neither am I going to burden any hatred. There's no point in trying to prove my own motives either. It's as if i'm on a different spectrum and i'm starting to realise that caring just isn't what it is anymore, it's just dependent on what the person receiving it takes it as. So honestly, nowadays, I don't even know whether I should put any effort anymore.
Posted 1/18/16
When we care/feel about others.
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Posted 1/18/16 , edited 1/18/16

lunarxx wrote:
I tried to talk to someone on here on my buddies list and it felt forced and tense . Sometimes I can't bridge the gap b/c of my emotional distance.
thats why randomness and events are great ... ...

Hrafna wrote:
When we care/feel about others.
thx for nearly posting the whole title
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Posted 1/18/16
What's with these questions? lol

You're not obligated to care about anyone any more than you're obligated to cry at a funeral or eat when you're hungry. You're not obligated to love a child or to even to act happy when good things happen to you. You only do these things when you feel like it. They aren't triggered by a sense of duty.

The only thing you're obligated to do is to not be unduly burdensome on others. Don't make life harder for others when it's avoidable, but you aren't obligated to be a nice person.
Posted 1/18/16

Freddy96NO wrote:

thx for nearly posting the whole title
Well, I didn't want to complicate things.
Posted 1/18/16



I worry more than I should, such as a finding myself in a situation where two people feed off each other's negativity, where in the other there is potential for self-harm, is one reason I have trouble talking about problems. I try to save it for offline where I can sit face-to-face and not have to worry about for, god knows could be a kid somewhere abused thats in crisis or have had some traumatic events they've not come to terms with. That would bother me if my problems affected them to want to harm themselves. It hampers my ability to trust myself , so I try to trust in professionals and close family and friends.

Its not you at all, and I didn't mean for it to sound that specific, but listen to these replies, its as if everyone is saying noone wants to get hurt or feel used and not do any good all the same, and they also don't want to make things worse, give the wrong advice, sound disingenuous, etc . Its up to them to reach out in their own time, the best way to be their pal is to be their pal and not be judgemental. They may just need time to come around or to be left alone altogether. Its different with everyone, you know? Its up to you how you feel about another person and if they're worth your time. And that's okay. In more ways I share your pessimism than not. My advice is to just be a friend, listen, but that doesn't mean having to take their bs, Just pick your time and just be a friend.

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Posted 1/18/16



You don't have to worry about you said, it was your honest opinion.
I'll take your advice.
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Posted 1/18/16

Nalaniel wrote:

Never.


^ Duuuude, that's on some cold-hearted type of shit.
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