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How screwed up are you?
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15 / M / Australia, Victoria
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Posted 1/25/16 , edited 1/25/16
Everyone fights their own wars in their own ways. I guess it's the events that happened that make us stronger in our futures.

I guess I'm pretty okay compared to other people around me, having my biological father leave me while I was too young to remember, but left my brothers very doubtful and untrusting of both my mother and now father. I had my mother blame me for not pursuing her dreams, put me down in many ways possible but not looking into her own faults. I guess you could say I've tried multiple suicide methods but I'm sure it's just the angst of being a child. I'm barely into my teenage years and I'm fed up with everything, haha... But all in all, I guess I'm not that screwed up, just a little bit too carefree. I take anything that people say to me as a grain of salt and I barely get mad... or genuinely happy anymore. Depressing, maybe? Screwed up? Nah.
Sogno- 
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Posted 1/25/16 , edited 2/2/16
i think yaoi is kinda hot

i love male yanderes

but im normal. just normal
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31 / M / L'Étoile du Nord,...
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Posted 1/25/16
I see that pedophiles were referenced in an earlier post.....to which I agree with this sentiment : Death to kiddie-fiddlers.

Otherwise, I can't seem to find any proper way to respond to this thread, especially since it's a story spanning over a decade, and I don't feel like going into it....for now, at least.
Posted 1/25/16
My grandapa just died yesterday, & I'm getting drunk by myself at the moment about to abuse a few of my prescription pills. Other than that I'm just fucked up enough to be considered mildly unique, but not so fucked that I have to unsubscribe from the human race.
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36 / M
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Posted 1/25/16
Most things that people find traumatic or painful don't have as much impact on me. I do have feelings, but they aren't quite the same as most peoples'. This doesn't make me some special snowflake or any such garbage, I'm just built funny and it has positives and negatives. Some highlights:

I was continuously bullied and assaulted in elementary (blood was drawn on more than one occasion). When I finally defended myself I was in a ton of trouble and the others were not punished.
I have had to help carry the corpse of close family out of the house because they only sent one person that wasn't strong enough and they forgot the gurney. The extended family present has treated me differently and poorly since then.
The place I went to high school was sometimes like something from a movie. People hospitalized after fights, one friend was found in his car with his throat slit after his parents had kicked him out (not suicide, there was no blood in the car, the theory was that he was hung and drained), drugs were very cheap (I avoided them, I was sick of them having had various psychoactive prescriptions since elementary), and our principal was actually a former green beret. Moving away from there was a very good thing.
I have had guns to my head and knives pulled on me. I have had people who have been to prison for various things threaten to kill me or people I care about.

I think I am about as normal as normal can be for me. I was born wired funny (they decided I was autistic for a while, but decided it was a misdiagnosis), so normal is relative for me. I have a harder time than most folks with social interaction (I have actually gotten pretty good at it, but that isn't because it has gotten easier, it is because I have learned ways to adapt) and it takes a lot of work for me to understand other's feelings and respond appropriately. On the bright side I seem to be able to weather rough events in life better than others. I would not say that I am "unemotional", though I am sure I seem that way. My emotions just don't seem to affect my thoughts and actions the same way. So while I doubt that I am immune to trauma, I do seem to be more resistant than average.

Your past is always a part of you, but like many have said, it doesn't have to define you. I try to learn from my pain and be the best I can be. I figure that I need to pay particular attention to what hurts in life because I am resistant to emotional pain. I could easily be the source of it if I underestimate the importance of it and fail to understand what can cause it. I don't want to hurt others any more than I have to in order to get by, hurting people accidentally and/or for no reason is wrong and wasteful in my book.

It is good for some people to talk about things like this. For me it helps me organize my thoughts better when I have to try to communicate them to someone else. It makes it easier to get a handle on things and to better understand myself and what I should be doing. Hopefully this is someway helpful to everyone else too.
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Posted 1/25/16
I can do better.


#Mañana
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21 / Australia
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Posted 1/26/16 , edited 1/26/16

Deaggy-Stardust wrote:

My grandapa just died yesterday, & I'm getting drunk by myself at the moment about to abuse a few of my prescription pills. Other than that I'm just fucked up enough to be considered mildly unique, but not so fucked that I have to unsubscribe from the human race.


Bro drink w/e but don't screw with the prescription pills I beg you.

Posted 1/26/16

GrandMasterTime wrote:


Deaggy-Stardust wrote:

My grandapa just died yesterday, & I'm getting drunk by myself at the moment about to abuse a few of my prescription pills. Other than that I'm just fucked up enough to be considered mildly unique, but not so fucked that I have to unsubscribe from the human race.


Bro drink w/e but don't screw with the prescription pills I beg you.



That's kind of you to say that, and I honestly mean that, but I was an opiate/heroin addict for 8 years, the entirety of my 20's. I'm in recovery but in midst of a relapse. One of these days I'll get it right.
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33 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 1/26/16
insomina is a bitch. its eitehr run 48 hour days or sleep 18 hours a day. i hate this. i hate these meds, i hate the feeling beeing off them. im getting fucking tired of being tired all the time. and i hate the constant vomiting when i dont take them and not sleep.
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17 / F / Home
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Posted 1/26/16
If you're desperate for me to talk about this subject PM me, other than that I don't really want to talk about it.....
Posted 1/26/16
Aw...That sucks. Dude I feel so sorry for you.

I used to be pretty suicidal while I was a teenager. Still have no idea why because it wasn't like I was being bullied or anything. I guess I was under a lot of stress.

Frickin high school man.

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35 / F / windurst
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Posted 1/26/16

WeeabooWarrior wrote:

[Be respectful in this post. Don't make fun of other peoples sufferings]

I'm going to share with you a brief summary of some of the highlights of my wonderful life. I hope you all enjoy reading this.

So, want to know how screwed up I am?

I don't mind being honest.

1. I have light Asperger syndrome which was used against me as a crutch in elementary school. School teachers told me I''d never even get out of high school, which also stunted my intellectual growth. And my parents never even told me till 2014.

2. Being violently and mentally abused for being mixed race and religious. Literally picked on everyday, being chased in groups at every recess. Being made fun of by teachers and other kids and my parents did nothing till later on.

3. Nearly be put into special education and told I have anger issues due to the fact that every day was sheer terror to live when I was a child.

4. Being molested as a child which screwed up my growth process and made my sexual orientation volatile.

5. Having abusive parents and a jealous brother with a learning disability who screamed and was always sarcastic to me.

6. Having an overly protective mother who was a cheating catholic hypocrite and smothered me from growing and maturing, trying to tell me who my friends should be.

7. Being an absolute outcast from Elementary all the way to high school, with no friends until the last 3 years.

8. Realizing the illusion that my parents were a good couple being utterly shattered after learning the truth. That since 1999 my mom and dad were divorced and the only reason my father stayed was to take care of me, never telling me till 2014.

9. Have half my family disown me by my mothers hands, who in revenge on my father literally out caste us both. In the process just to spite my father she kicked me out in the middle of winter without notice and physically attacked my father. Nearly having all my closest friends abandon me during that horrible process.

10. Be a virgin and never give into sexual lust, while watching every other person that I hated have wonderful families and blessed children they call their own.

The only thing I really wanted.

This isn't even the tip of the iceberg of all the shit I have had to put up with. How any sane human being can even manage all this means that I'm not a sad story.

I'm the goddamn hero.



You are : )

May I give you a hug?

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40 / M / USA
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Posted 1/26/16
Life's a bitch, and then you die. Gotta deal with shit as best you can or be consumed by it.

I could tell you about my not so pleasant childhood but I'm not willing to prostrate myself to a bunch of random fucks.
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25 / M / usa
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Posted 1/26/16
I can relate to those situations. I've been through a lot. I just know sooner or later down the line you'll pick yourself up and grow out of it and realize it all happened for a reason. You get stronger and you understand a part of life that other probably don't understand. Use the situations you went through to help others. That's what I do. You got this! * thumbs up*
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21 / M / Florida, USA
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Posted 1/26/16
Props to you for sticking it through, that's one hell of a ride through adolescence.

I had my bouts with depression due to genetics on my mother's side of the family. I might not be able to identify with all the things you went through, my upbringing was rather nice family wise but depression is a bitch not matter what your situation is. I faced my share of bullies. It empowers me to know that someone like you went through all that and still stands strong today.
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