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Post Reply Are you able to become friends once again with someone who has betrayed your trust?
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F / United Kingdom
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Posted 1/25/16 , edited 1/25/16
No, I could not. They would probably just do it again.
Posted 1/25/16
Nope, bye.
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30 / Right behind you.
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Posted 1/25/16
It kind of depends on your definition of a friend. I have very close friends, and distant friend/acquaintances.

Personally, this would never be the case with me. Its not a conscious decision either. If i know someone that betrays my trust with something i value our relationship will change forever. I am still amiable towards them in most cases, but will not really put much effort into maintaining the friendship. This is when the betrayal is not friendship breaking, which has only happened once in my life actually.
Are they still my friends? kind of, if someone asks me how long we have been friends, i would probably answer with how long we have known each other. But they are not what i would consider close friends nor will they ever really become close friends, simply because i cant trust them to help me or rely on them. For me the most important aspect of friendship is being there for the people you value and knowing they will be there for you when you need the help.
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25 / M / Dallas
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Posted 1/25/16
I tried and things got worse. Not worth it!
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F
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Posted 1/25/16
Usually, I'm considered to be the 'betrayer'.
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23
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Posted 1/25/16
I can become Acquaintances with people who've betrayed my trust before.

The only people I can't stand are the ones that take what you say and tell everyone else, because they have nothing else to talk about. I usually steer clear of those people in the first place, so it doesn't happen often that I befriend one of them.
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21 / Australia
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Posted 1/25/16
I forgive and forget. I don't really care. As long as victory is ensured everything can be thrown under the mattress.
Posted 1/25/16
I have a close knit group of friends, 6 of us (extended to about 8 or 9), whom I've known over half my life, & though all of us at one point or another have been wretched assholes, there isn't anything that could irreparably destroy our family. Not all of us even live in the same town, state, or country in one case, anymore, but these days it's not hard to maintain a relationship long distance. That being said, there have been people I was very close to for years who colossally fuck up, & I give them multiple chances, but if you betray my trust multiple times & go out of your way to potentially hurt me, I label you a toxic person & all contact is cut off.
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25 / F
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Posted 1/25/16
It depends on what they did and if their apology is sincere. Overall, I think I'm a pretty forgiving person.
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27 / M / Minne-snow-ta!
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Posted 1/25/16
Betray me once, it's goodbye forever. Though a part of me wishes I could take revenge, but that would just waste my time and effort for someone I no longer care about.
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18 / M / Denmark Boy
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Posted 1/25/16
Yeah, why not?
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F
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Posted 1/25/16 , edited 1/25/16
Nope.
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26 / F / Overlord's Castle
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Posted 1/25/16
no, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

I don't like to give second chances, and I am pretty good on holding grudges.
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23 / Texas
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Posted 1/25/16
tl;dr: After you've broken my trust, we can't be friends until I'm sure I can start building it up again. Then, it happens slowly, or sometimes not at all.

Okay, now story time:

This has happened to me--a best friend growing up started manipulating me. It happened slowly, over the course of a year, but at a certain point I put my foot down. I wrote a really angry letter, but never gave it to him. Instead, I slept on it and prayed about it for a couple of days. Then, I called him on the phone and explained calmly what was wrong. I told him the ways he had used me, how it had hurt me, and how I couldn't trust him anymore. He admitted to everything and apologized (as usual), and I think he felt bad about it. But I think he was really more upset that he wasn't getting what he wanted--he didn't care about me.

I decided right away that I would forgive him. I told him so, and he thanked me for that. But I also told him that I didn't trust him anymore, and that he couldn't be a part of my life anymore until I saw some concrete proof that he had changed. It's been two years now, and I still run into him occasionally; but from what I hear of him, it sounds like he's the same guy I knew when we were teenagers; and he hasn't made any move to repair the relationship, so I assume he's moved on.

On the other hand, I had another friend who broke my trust and I had to back off from her for a while... We went from talking every day to not seeing each other at all. The silence lasted a few months. Then, slowly, we rebuilt the relationship, setting a few more boundaries. Four years later, we're good friends and the past is far behind us. One of my best friends for sure. I think we said, "we'll be friends forever," and we absolutely meant it. Even though I lost faith in her for a while, it was that underlying commitment that preserved out friendship.
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