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Post Reply If your close friend is in a shitty relationship, do you tell them they should break it off, or do you tell them to stic
Posted 1/24/16
I would tell them what I would do, but ultimately say do what feels right for you. Even if we are close friends, I'm not the one in love with that person, even if we are close friends.
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Posted 1/24/16
I would tell him/her to break it off. This here is making you crazy. You are fighting most of time. She/he always making you do stuff that you don't want to do. I would be honest with my closest friends. I would not like to see them suffer in a bad relationship.
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25 / M / NYC Metro Area
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Posted 1/24/16
Tell them that you believe it is in his best interest to break it off, but if he doesn't agree with you, you will support his decision. Part of being a good friend is being honest with one another.
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Posted 1/24/16
I usually ask if they're happy and if you see it making you happy ever. I've told my buddy before that this chick has the wrong kind of bagage for you to deal with.
JuJu26 
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23 / M / U.S.A.
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Posted 1/24/16
Break it off!!
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23 / M / Beyond The Wall
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Posted 1/24/16
If its toxic, then yep. Ive done it before and i'll keep doing it. Unfortunately no one listens to me until something excessively bad happens
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23 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 1/24/16
Slap them in the face then walk away.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 1/25/16 , edited 1/25/16
Your friend's relationship is none of your business and you probably only hear about half of what's going on.
And as their friend you should get involved, find out more and tell them what you think.
Then respect their decision to ignore you.
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15 / M / Australia, Victoria
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Posted 1/25/16 , edited 1/25/16


I seriously doubt I'm going to let them get into a relationship like that anyway. As controlling as I sound, and I know that it's their decision, I really just can't stand shitty relationships.
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Somewhere
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Posted 1/25/16
I would tell them, but if they choose not to listen then they will have to learn for themselves. When they do learn just be there when they need you.

It's happened to me before to where I didn't listen to those around me or even listen to my own gut. Learned the hard way that my own gut and friends were right.
Posted 1/25/16
I'll just make sure he/she realizes that he/she is in a bad relationship but it's his/her decision whether to break it off or not.
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42 / M
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Posted 1/25/16
That's kind of a hard one because on one hand he/she is your friend and true friends should be able to be honest with each other but on the other hand their relationship is really none of your business unless that relationship is abusive or something. If it were me I'd tell them. I'd rather try to be a good friend and possibly lose that friend than to not tell them and be a crappy friend. There's a chance they may not want to hear it and you could lose your friend at least until they hopefully wise up. You just have to make sure you look at it from the proper perspective. Is the person they're in a relationship with really bad for them or do you just not like that person? If it's the former then it's fine to tell them but if it's the latter you need to think long and hard before saying something...if ever. I've had friends that I just didn't like who they were going out with for whatever reason but when I stopped and looked at it from a different point of view (one without jealousy or anger) I came to realize that person was really good for them.....they just weren't good for me as a friend lol. It all worked out in the end. Me and my friend are still pretty close but I am not very close to who they are now married to but that's okay. He's a good person and that's all that matters. He's just not my kind of person....way too serious for me and doesn't seem to know how to have fun....at least around other people. She says alone he's actually pretty funny which I can relate to I guess. Lord knows I'm not the most social person out there.

So just make sure you look at it properly and make sure you're really doing it for your friends sake and not your own.
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42 / M
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Posted 1/25/16

dragontackle wrote:

If its toxic, then yep. Ive done it before and i'll keep doing it. Unfortunately no one listens to me until something excessively bad happens


That's the story of my life. We should form a club with T-Shirts and everything. The Nobody Listens to Me/Future I Told You So Club or NLTMFITYSC for short. Try saying that ten times in a row.
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35 / F / windurst
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Posted 1/25/16
I believe that you must tell him/her.
Of course, done in a respectful manner.
And stay by him/her even if the bf/gf s*cks.
Because this is what friendship, true friendship, is about.

I was in a very bad situation once, had a shitty bf, was blind and much of a fool.
Had a friend who told me I should get out of that relationship, I didn't listen (for many reasons).
So that friend ditched me because he didn't like the bf I had at that time.
Then I got into a depression and I needed that friend, he wasn't there for me when I needed him the most.

So yes, say what you have to say, be honest but be there
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27 / F / Canada
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Posted 1/25/16
Tough call, I would tell them they deserve better and the guy/girl is being abusive [theoretically that's the case] but I wouldn't force them apart. I would state my opinion and be there for my friend. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and all my friends told me to leave. Once we did break up everyone was all 'so glad you're not together anymore! He was the worst.' Even people I haven't seen in 10 years come up to me and are all 'are you still with *name*? You're not? Thank god! He was so horrible to you I'm glad you broke up.' Thing is, it has to be your friends decision otherwise they'll hate you and keep going back to the person.

If it's just a personality thing, but it's nothing that's worth breaking up over, I'd just shrug it off as quirks of the guy/girl.
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