First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  Next  Last
Post Reply are dating sites a huge waste of time?
27236 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M
Offline
Posted 1/24/16 , edited 1/24/16
It depends. You just need a nice looking picture and to not sound like a b**** or ahole or psycho freak in your profile and you'll eventually get something.

Meeting with clearly incompatible people is a bigger waste of time and also a waste of money, so unless you are spending hours on dating sites every day, you're fine. If not those sites, you'd probably be Facebooking or gaming anyway, right?

Trust me. You do not want an arranged marriage. My family is very traditional and I was almost in one. One thing worse than being alone is getting stuck with someone you don't like.

And you're 21. You need to go out and enjoy a few bars and enjoy yourself and have fun with your friends and meet people before you marry. People who have only dated one person and married that person generally seem unhappy from what I can tell. You need to get dating experience so you know what works and what doesn't for you. At 21, there are still so many changes that will happen to you. You'll change less as you get older and that's when you can expect your identity to become more permanent.
18688 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F
Offline
Posted 1/24/16

Morbidhanson wrote:

It depends. You just need a nice looking picture and to not sound like a b**** or ahole or psycho freak in your profile and you'll eventually get something.

Meeting with clearly incompatible people is a bigger waste of time and also a waste of money, so unless you are spending hours on dating sites every day, you're fine. If not those sites, you'd probably be Facebooking or gaming anyway, right?

Trust me. You do not want an arranged marriage. My family is very traditional and I was almost in one. One thing worse than being alone is getting stuck with someone you don't like.


lol im the complete opposite, I don't sound like a bitch at all
97960 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
68 / M / Columbia, MO
Online
Posted 1/24/16
Hi, I met my wife (married first time at age 58 after staying single mode since birth) through eHarmony.com. Over the years I tried everything out there: alternative newspaper personal ads (pre-internet), regional invitation dating registers via local paper (pre-internet), 3 different dating services (local when I resided in SW Mizzou for 3 decades), responded to personal ads in the newspaper (back in the day), via friends, associates. You name it, I tried it.

The internet has transformed my so-called Life. Possibly it can transform yours.

Timeline: bought a decent computer September 5, 2005. Joined eHarmony 2nd week September, 2005. Took a week to answer the series of personality trait questions. Over a 2 week period of time once I entered my answers I fielded 42 possibilities within a 500-mile radius of where I resided. Some of the individuals they picked were obvious misfits for a guy like me, others were in current relationships and hadn't taken the time/consideration to log off the system. Eventually I had my choices narrowed down to 5 individuals that lived within a 3-hour drive radius. Of those 5 I was not religious enough for 1, another really didn't want to meet (unsure what she wanted in life re opposite sex but didn't enjoy being alone...there are a lot of folks in this predicament in the dating world, possibly you've met a few yourself. The third 1 never had the time since she worked for an airline and was always away. So it came down to 2 individuals. I have to chuckle about my choice who eventually became my wife. She sent me a picture of herself. Gazing at it I thought "hmmm, aw Ken, go out with her a few times, see if you have anything in common; after all, you don't have to marry her......LOL.

Some people object to answering strings of questions which eHarmony will ask of you as well as any other person of interest. E-Harmony's questions are prediction-based about personality traits (quirks, liars, manipulators, killers, etc) and personal life experience habits. These questions have withstood the test of both time and feedback re human interaction(s). Many of the people that operate eHarmony are certified professionals in the healing industries not just entrepreneurs out for your money trying to placate your life aspirations. E-Harmony was my first choice thanks to my knowledge of known personality trait tests that I learned about while in graduate school studying to become either a certified psychologist or counselor.

Like any dating site both people need to be honest in their answers re questions. Trouble is, a lot of folks either don't know what they want or are afraid to take risks (granted, do not date murderers but there are other levels of "risk" many individuals are intimidated by).

Sites where you are relying on a picture and/or a short group of sound bytes are somewhat helpful for 1st impressions but they lack depth and focus. If it's something superficial and that's all you want keep trying. Someone, somewhere will want to meet you. But if you wish more you would be doing a service to both your self and your psyche to try a service that defines more levels of meaning than just physical attraction.
6746 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M
Offline
Posted 1/24/16
nah, it's becoming more relevant in this day and age because of globalisation.
48744 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 1/24/16
At 21 I don't think you should be that worried, if you feel pressure because people around you are getting married or whatever, that's just silly.

More and more people are delaying marriage over career and whatnot, even if you were single at age 30 it's no big deal. It's all about how you think of yourself and your own perception. If you're still in College, you should have a good enough pool instead of focusing on only online websites?

Either way, I think it's just silly to worry at 21, but it's your life.
33510 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / U.S.A.
Offline
Posted 1/24/16

Chadizard wrote:

I think dating could be a waste of time in general, but that's just me.

I second this.
16841 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M / L'Étoile du Nord,...
Offline
Posted 1/24/16
I'm sure online dating sites have their purpose, but I myself wouldn't use them. They're probably not all they're cracked up to be, either, and I doubt that happy moment of meeting in-person will be momentous.

Don't take my opinion as absolute truth, though. Results will vary.
2047 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / USA
Offline
Posted 1/24/16

redokami wrote:

im really starting to think they are, I have been on match for a year and a half, have sent out messages to over 200 individuals, they look at my profile and wont even message back, not even an im not interested
imo it is quiet rude
is it me at this point ? and no I don't do any bland message or a simple hi


Thats interesting you say that since you are female. Most dating sites are mainly males who desperately message the few females on them. Unless you are some morbidly obese person you should have no problem picking the many men on the dating website.
11505 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 1/24/16

alicia-m wrote:

At 21 I don't think you should be that worried, if you feel pressure because people around you are getting married or whatever, that's just silly.

More and more people are delaying marriage over career and whatnot, even if you were single at age 30 it's no big deal. It's all about how you think of yourself and your own perception. If you're still in College, you should have a good enough pool instead of focusing on only online websites?

Either way, I think it's just silly to worry at 21, but it's your life.


I think when we get older, people care mostly about how much you make rather than your looks or personality.

Cuz in hs and college, people are being supported by their family /scholarships /financial aid so they couldn't care less about finances in relationships

but suddenly after graduation they have to start making money to survive and theyre suddenly realizing how much finances matter so they'll start considering financially stable persons as attractive
15947 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / Cold and High
Offline
Posted 1/24/16 , edited 1/24/16

redokami wrote:
I have tried numerous things, crap I have even lost 30 pounds
im not in it for sex, I want a marriage.
haha... the best isn't a dating site (unless you are very lucky and find a person that is quite like yourself using that site too.. like said its rare and its used for so many other reasons and some really.. really bad ones (some more then just stalking)...

Also a tip is not to use a picture of yourself sometimes just using something based on your emotion could be taken quite good.
But then agian you kind of need somewhere a picture of yourself not too hidden but also not that open (first sight) <- scary.


VividDreamZ wrote: From my personal experience dating sites have been ok, but I have noticed for a male that a large number of female accounts were fake. It was a ploy to get you to sign up and pay to get more money out of you.

It was like fishing, I used to different bait to lure women to want to say hi and notice me.

You being a female on dating sites which are predominantly male and not getting messages is strange, because women usually get spammed with messages.

I would assume the guys are scared or intimidated with you, or your pictures on this profile show that you aren't a easy catch
pick the easiest targets either because they have no experience or they have more sinister things in mind.
ofc many of them are fake (some bots?) anyway there are reasons for some males being female on those sites not for money's sake but other worse reasons, just like you said about bait only that its for males sometimes very young also that they are also drawn to those females and this lead to horrible situations and worse when that female acts like they "know" you.

Many reasons as to why she wasn't picked, she seemed more "false" then the other ones?
Not inviting for who?
and that those males would seek a female on those sites could be for those female users that looks young, innocent and something they can lure/take and have never exp such users and what they can do.

18688 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
22 / F
Offline
Posted 1/24/16

biscuitnote wrote:


redokami wrote:

im really starting to think they are, I have been on match for a year and a half, have sent out messages to over 200 individuals, they look at my profile and wont even message back, not even an im not interested
imo it is quiet rude
is it me at this point ? and no I don't do any bland message or a simple hi


Thats interesting you say that since you are female. Most dating sites are mainly males who desperately message the few females on them. Unless you are some morbidly obese person you should have no problem picking the many men on the dating website.


im 5'1 and weigh 155 and yea "interesting" to say the least, and no , obviously I cant "pick" lol
2047 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / USA
Offline
Posted 1/24/16

redokami wrote:


biscuitnote wrote:


redokami wrote:

im really starting to think they are, I have been on match for a year and a half, have sent out messages to over 200 individuals, they look at my profile and wont even message back, not even an im not interested
imo it is quiet rude
is it me at this point ? and no I don't do any bland message or a simple hi


Thats interesting you say that since you are female. Most dating sites are mainly males who desperately message the few females on them. Unless you are some morbidly obese person you should have no problem picking the many men on the dating website.


im 5'1 and weigh 155 and yea "interesting" to say the least, and no , obviously I cant "pick" lol


Are you physically deformed in any way? Not trying to be rude but most women have their pick of dozens of men on dating sites.
15947 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / Cold and High
Offline
Posted 1/24/16

redokami wrote:
im 5'1 and weigh 155 and yea "interesting" to say the least, and no , obviously I cant "pick" lol
I think it better if you where a bit "bland" insted of sounding desperate or something like that many males atleast a age maybe around yours would be really put out if it sounds like "talk to me" or "need more info" or something, even though the basic's is fine but just like "hello, good picture you got there" and maybe trying to be a bit netural and if either want something just ask if they got time or what they are doing etc, "playing something? going for work?"
Or so I think need someone else to speak of that.. I ain't even social enough to know just commenting random is my style

2044 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / Denmark
Offline
Posted 1/24/16
I think both yes and no, depends in my opinion on where you live.. What I mean is: If you live in a big city or some place with a huge population, Go out, not only bars and such, just social things in the city and meet people.. this way you actually interact with people rather than just sitting in front of the computer, phone or tablet.

on the other hand, dating sites might be AMAZING for people that lives far away from other or places with really small and tight knit communities.

Hope this makes sense
8022 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M
Offline
Posted 1/24/16
depends really, my dad has married twice through dating sites and he didnt long to find a partner, i think you should try focusing on one or two individuals and try catching their attention instead of sending over just one message and hope s/he(not sure your preference) respond.
thats how my dad did it and it seems to be working fine.
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.