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Post Reply should you ever say "sorry" to a girl?
Posted 1/29/16
If I'm wrong I'll apologize to anybody...be it a man or woman.
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Posted 1/29/16
I'm trying to figure out the context we're discussing here to little avail, so the best I can do is offer a few scenarios I think are relevant:

1. You have wronged a coworker, but they're not receptive to your initial apology.

You should not continue to offer apologies provided your initial one was sincerely given. An apology is clearly not something they're interested in, and you're bothering them by continuing to offer more of them.

2. You have wronged a coworker, and they are receptive to apologies if they're offered.

Of course you should offer an apology. You wronged them, and they want one.

3. You have violated the tenets of your religion, feel guilty, and feel a need to show remorse somehow.

Different religions have different standards for how to address failure to adhere to their tenets, but if the standards for reconciliation in one's religion call for an apology to either or both the wronged party and relevant deity then you should probably give one. Otherwise, maybe not. It's hard to say without a specific example.
Posted 1/29/16
I usually say 'My bad' just so I don't have to say sorry
Kinda like yeah idk if it IS my fault or not but I don't really care so my bad
I only say I'm sorry when I actually mean it
Posted 1/29/16
Sure
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Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/29/16

BlueOni wrote: I'm trying to figure out the context we're discussing here to little avail, so the best I can do is offer a few scenarios I think are relevant:

1. You have wronged a coworker, but they're not receptive to your initial apology.
You should not continue to offer apologies provided your initial one was sincerely given. An apology is clearly not something they're interested in, and you're bothering them by continuing to offer more of them.
not its more the same if you are opening a door for a girl and then she says "you pig" or something, its cind of when a girl is in a bad mood and see alot is wrong even the small maybe helpful or not "really" your fault (something that can be fixed, and just say sorry not about giving no apology ofc you are if you nudged the table and coffee falled down on her lap but by just saying sorry some women can't stand that and should never say that word and rather find something ELSE to say)

and its quite the bloody character you got, don't crush me now ... as my text and what I mean is completely out of... wack...
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Posted 1/29/16

Freddy96NO wrote:

Dariamus wrote: I have
Many, many times.
sure, so have I but agian how did they turn out after that? (like the first picture "suggest"/shows a little of) and it being not really in your wrong but could either do better or something else.

I'm still happily married, so I'd say it turned out well.

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Posted 1/29/16

Dariamus wrote: I'm still happily married, so I'd say it turned out well.
yeah I know XP so you have been saying

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Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/29/16

Freddy96NO wrote:

not its more the same if you are opening a door for a girl and then she says "you pig" or something, its cind of when a girl is in a bad mood and see alot is wrong even the small maybe helpful or not "really" your fault (something that can be fixed, and just say sorry not about giving no apology ofc you are if you nudged the table and coffee falled down on her lap but by just saying sorry some women can't stand that and should never say that word and rather find something ELSE to say)


I've never really bought into the argument that men offering kindnesses like pulling out seats or holding doors ought to be considered belittling, but for additional context I think everyone should hold doors for everyone since it's just a nice thing to do. As a result, the way I see it if someone were to call you a pig for holding the door for them that's an example of them wronging you, not the other way around. It would be they that owed you an apology, and if they only did that because they were in a bad mood you might well get one.

I guess if someone's in such a bad mood that they're not receptive to an apology for accidentally knocking coffee into their lap you shouldn't continue to offer them, but you should offer at least one. That's legitimate cause for one.


Freddy96NO wrote:

and its quite the bloody character you got, don't crush me now ... as my text and what I mean is completely out of... wack... :wacko:


I'll fix you right back up, though.
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Posted 1/29/16
If I'm wrong I'll apologize. If I'm not, I'll tell them to shove it.
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Posted 1/29/16
If i'm in the wrong, yes. If I didn't do anything, no. I won't do it to please your ego.
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Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/29/16
You don't have to say sorry you just have to say you're wrong.
Thats what they want too hear.
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Posted 1/29/16
I'm also not seeing the big picture here with this thread?

Are you saying apologizing to a woman makes matters worse? Are you basing this off tsundere anime, or real world experiences, because I've never been in a situation where saying sorry made matters worse. If it has for you, that's more a sign of the kind of people you choose to hang out with than the word itself.

A person's pride shouldn't be determined by a single word or phrase. If saying sorry seems like a weakness to some, they still likely haven't matured yet, because acknowledging you're wrong is a sign of strength, not weakness. Being hardheaded and thinking you're infallible is what children do.

If the woman, or anyone is having a bad day, you say sorry to them to show them you empathize. If you've wronged them, even in a minute way, but it still hurts them in some way, you say sorry. If you've done nothing wrong, and they still expect you to say sorry, just say it, it's a word, if your whole sense of self rides on a single word, you have bigger problems.
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Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/29/16
If I have done something that ought to be apologized for, I will say I'm sorry to the one I wronged and that would be regardless of sex, race, or even life. LOL! I've actually apologized to a table before because I bumped into it (although I thought I was apologizing to a person I'd backed into until I turned my head).

The only scenario I can imagine anyone getting upset when they have been apologized to would be if the person doing the apologizing has totally missed the mark and apologized for a completely unrelated thing while ignoring the actual thing that should be apologized for. This used to happen with my ex-husband. He would do something that would completely humiliate and embarrass me, for instance take all the cash out of the bank account and buy games so that when I went to use my bank card to buy groceries it would be declined and I'd be that annoying person holding up the line while I tried to find a way to either pay for the groceries or else would have to send the whole cart back since he'd also run all the credit cards up to their maximums so they'd be declined. Then when I'd get home, upset because I didn't know why our card had been declined, and not having any groceries so I couldn't fix a meal, he'd ask where dinner was and then apologize for asking why I hadn't fixed dinner yet since he'd see I'd just walked in and hadn't had time to fix anything, and never once address the fact that the money for the groceries had vanished into thin air and suddenly we had 50 new video games. I could tell him exactly what I was upset about and he'd still assume it was something completely different and never address the actual problem.
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Posted 1/29/16
^ holy smokes....

Otherwise, you bet, depending upon circumstance, social etiquette, size of gun barrel pointed at your face
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18 / M / California
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Posted 1/29/16
Don't know what the thread's about but gonna contribute anyways.

If I'm wrong(which is hardly the case) and it's clear I fucked up, I'll say, "My bad." Or I might admit the other person is right, that's about it.

If I hurt you, I'm not apologizing for it, because 99% of the time I'm doing things I feel is right or I'm speaking factual, if that hurts you, that sucks for you.

Then if I'm being offensive just for the entertainment of it, there's no way in hell I'm apologizing unless it's to allow me to fuck with them further.

If I do something like swing my arm or whatever and accidentally punch you or something, that'll probably be the only time I'll give a straight up apology.
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Posted 1/29/16

Razor_Girl wrote: I could tell him exactly what I was upset about and he'd still assume it was something completely different and never address the actual problem.
Well that guy had some problems though, and to the person above you, no saying sorry out of thin air does not help or do anything good and would worsen on the other side seems more white knight stuff that just... makes a mess later on (if you know that person and it can go personal)

but back agian I still wonder/want to know more about why you was with that guy in general or just it had to go that bad to split? (dunno if you allready answerd that and what he did with bike, items he buyed.. thats what they call farming of useless junk a serious addiction since industrial age.)

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