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Street harassment and thoughts about it
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Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/29/16
What do you think?

Yesterday my sister and I were catcalled when we were crossing the streets. Then we were whistled by a man driving a truck that was passing by. Later we were unscrupulously stared by a guy. Almost at our destination a guy told us "Good day lovely girls, howdy" "I'm telling you good day!", "Hey you should answer me!!", he followed us until we got through a passage.

Never before had I experienced harassment. I felt bad with myself, sad, uneasy. My sister told me it's very common experience for her, she has been followed to her house and being touched by a homeless person (she was trying to help).

I'm scared of going out again with my sister and having a similar experience. Street harassment is a very common issue in my town but it seems there are no laws that are trying to prevent it...
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Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/31/16
Can of mace is always nice to have on hand.
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Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/30/16
Honestly, I never really saw a problem with "catcalling." I can certainly understand why some people dislike it, and I can certainly see why some people DO like it.

I see no problem with a guy staring at you, though.

I see no problem whatsoever with some guy saying "Good day, lovely girls."
[EDIT] Said this before you edited in that he actually followed you. That's not cool, like I say below--stalking is bad.

When a guy is stalking you and touching you, there is definitely a problem.

It's a mixed bag of issues, but the only real "harassment" I see in what you're saying is that last bit.
Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/29/16
I've never witnessed it myself, and I don't know of anyone who's ever witnessed it either. I always thought it was some kind of cliche from a 70s movie about the 50s.

That whole "I'm talking to you, stranger, so you better talk back to me, because I'm me"-shit is ridiculous. I've never witnessed anyone of that mindset, neither.
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Posted 1/29/16
Well, Harassment is bad, not trying to diminish that or anything.

But I have to say, I'd much rather random strangers finding me pleasant to the eye over the insults I'm used to hearing. At least you won't lose self esteem from someone calling you "pretty." Can't see what's scary or demoralizing about it.

Touching is a big no no though. That is actually terrifying.
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Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/31/16
well idk but i am sorry that you were frightened and i hope that you don't have to go through that again
Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/31/16
It's a bitch

If I was with you I would have told him to fuck off.
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21 / F / Philadelphia, PA USA
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Posted 1/29/16
I think street harassment is a serious issue but it's not like everything someone of the opposite gender says is harassment. The people who honked and stared and so forth are harassing you. I personally think that it was rude for you not to say good day to the guy or not give him some type of recognition. If it were a woman would that have changed your response? If so then that's messed up. I will say though that after you guys did not acknowledge him (rude) he did go too far because although it is polite to return someone wishing you a good day it is not like they are obligated to say so.
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Posted 1/29/16 , edited 1/29/16

sarteck wrote:

Honestly, I never really saw a problem with "catcalling." I can certainly understand why some people dislike it, and I can certainly see why some people DO like it.

I see no problem with a guy staring at you, though.

I see no problem whatsoever with some guy saying "Good day, lovely girls."
[EDIT] Said this before you edited in that he actually followed you. That's not cool, like I say below--stalking is bad.

When a guy is stalking you and touching you, there is definitely a problem.

It's a mixed bag of issues, but the only real "harassment" I see in what you're saying is that last bit.



imo

Catcalling makes me feel that I'm just seen by another person as a sexual object, being stared by a guy/girl for a long while (not in the eyes) makes me feel uneasy, being stalked is definitely one of the worst feelings mixed with fear and anxiety that he/she might still be following you, being touched by a stranger is just the first stage of being raped or about to be raped.

So whats next?
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23 / M / AZ
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Posted 1/29/16
Catcalling is disgusting and rude
You are from South America where unfortunately this thing is common and encouraged in men.

Cool video by Everlast on catcalling
http://youtu.be/RDpaX_KhWSk
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Posted 1/29/16

Naseal wrote:


imo

Catcalling makes me feel that I'm just seen by another person as a sexual object, being stared by a guy/girl for a long while (not in the eyes) makes me feel uneasy, being stalked is definitely one of the worst feelings mixed with fear and anxiety that he/she might still be following you, being touched by a stranger is just the first stage of being raped or about to be raped.

So whats next?


And you're pretty much right about that. Catcalling is essentially another person sexually objectifying you. I just really don't see that as a "bad" thing in most cases though; even telling your significant other that they look sexy is sexually objectifying them.

Staring... I dunno. I can't see a problem with it. I certainly can't consider it harassment. It might make a person feel uncomfortable, sure, but that's about it.

Stalking is pretty scummy, and actually laying hands on another person is right out. And that goes whether the harassment is sexual in nature or not, really.
Posted 1/29/16
It happens everywhere, anywhere, to anyone, any gender. My best advice is to not think of it and just ignore it. Why let some random fool ruin your day/life?

They're the equivalent of internet trolls.
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Posted 1/29/16
What kind of laws exactly do you want to pass to combat this?
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16 / F
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Posted 1/29/16

sundin13 wrote:

What kind of laws exactly do you want to pass to combat this?


At least the opportunity to actually report harassment
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18 / M / California
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Posted 1/29/16

sarteck wrote:


Naseal wrote:


imo

Catcalling makes me feel that I'm just seen by another person as a sexual object, being stared by a guy/girl for a long while (not in the eyes) makes me feel uneasy, being stalked is definitely one of the worst feelings mixed with fear and anxiety that he/she might still be following you, being touched by a stranger is just the first stage of being raped or about to be raped.

So whats next?


And you're pretty much right about that. Catcalling is essentially another person sexually objectifying you. I just really don't see that as a "bad" thing in most cases though; even telling your significant other that they look sexy is sexually objectifying them.

Staring... I dunno. I can't see a problem with it. I certainly can't consider it harassment. It might make a person feel uncomfortable, sure, but that's about it.

Stalking is pretty scummy, and actually laying hands on another person is right out. And that goes whether the harassment is sexual in nature or not, really.


Yep
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