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How can I conceal my sadness?
Posted 2/3/16 , edited 2/3/16
Maybe surround yourself with others of the same difficulties? Whatever you're going through, there are a ton of others in the same situation. Reach out to them, get things off your chest. You can come across some good advice by sharing thoughts and struggles. I have a friend that's terribly sad all the time. It's just who they are and what they suffer from. He's a complete joker. The comedian. He says that telling jokes and making others laugh started as a concealment for his issues but turned into something he loved doing. In a certain way, it gave him some happiness to go out of his way on being the comic relief. He's even successfully cheered up people who were in a poor condition. It gave him purpose and he felt good about it. If everything else fails, maybe try that? In the end, always listen to yourself. What you want to do and what you feel like doing. You're bound to overcome obstacles or at least find ways to cope.

Edit: I was late posting this and read what happened. I wish you all the best. *Many hugs*. I agree with Razor_Girl. It takes some time. Your time. When you're ready to move on.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 2/3/16


I'm sorry for your lost. Personally, I would let myself shed tears and not try to hold it in. If you don't want to cry in front of other than do it in a location where people can not see or hear you. I'm not sure what your relationship with your grandmother was like but I don't think she would want you to conceal your sadness. At the same time if you really feel strongly about not letting yourself feel sadness, than try and think of the fun times you had with your grandmother and remain strong.

I suck at giving advice. Sorry if this doesn't make a lick of sense.
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46 / F / Reston, VA, USA
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Posted 2/3/16
Grief doesn't exactly have a timetable. It's going to have a different timeline for each individual. Generally speaking when a close loved one such as a parent, spouse, or child dies, they say it takes over a year for you to get back to normal. Grandparents, especially if they are close or you were helping care for them towards the end, fall in that same category.

Properly mourning can help the process along, this is why pretty much every culture has a ceremony or funeral to recognize the passing of a life, or in some cultures the celebration of what the person accomplished in their life.

In some cases, grieving can take a turn for the worse by causing depression to kick in and if you feel that's the situation and that you're excessively grieving above and beyond whatever you think is "normal" it may be time to see a counselor or speak to your spiritual leader/pastor/minister.

This page has a few ideas to help: http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/grief.aspx
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Posted 2/3/16
Maybe try to distract yourself a little. Watch some tv/movies/anime and play some video games. Go do something fun with your friends.

It's okay to feel sad, but sometimes you might wanna take a short break, especially with something that makes you feel sad for a long time (like what your said you're going through).
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Posted 2/3/16
It's a loss and you have to have time to deal and cope with it. So don't hide it just go through it and you will pop out of it in time.
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Posted 2/3/16
Keep yourself busy as much as possible, and of course find a meaningful lesson to have learned from this experience.
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Posted 2/3/16

melodyXXnur wrote:

Tell me how


Be like me. Act the opposite of what you really feel.

Outgoing, cheerful personality. Always talking to people. Not shy to speak in front of others. I mean ya....it's all a lie and this isn't how you really feel all the time. But it works.
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Posted 2/3/16

melodyXXnur wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:



I'm sorry to hear that. If you don't mind me asking, who exactly died?


Grandma.


I know how you feel. Been there. Speaking from experience let it out. It will be a while till this sadness goes away. I can recommend to watch something funny and I mean really funny. This will help a bit.
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31 / M / L'Étoile du Nord,...
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Posted 2/3/16

melodyXXnur wrote:
Tell me how

Well, I checked your profile and saw the bolded text.

Sadly, I can't offer any advice. Something serious happened to you. I don't know you personally, either, so I don't know what it's like. I can't just tell you to cheer up or keep your chin up.
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25 / M / Johnson County, K...
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Posted 2/3/16
The thing about grief is that it doesn't exactly go away. When the situation is irreversible, eventually you'll become numb to it. When that happens depends on the person, but generally two weeks to a month seems to be about the time it takes to deal with the death of a loved one.

In the meantime, try playing a lot of games or something else to distract you. Eventually you'll be strong enough to start living your life normally again.
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20 / M / USA
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Posted 2/3/16
ask your self one question: what do you want? if it is to stop feeling sad then take a deep breath and think about how to do that. why are you sad? because of a loss, because someone died who is close to you. are you a rational person? try and rationalize it, sadness will not bring them back ( i know how grieving feels more than i want to say ), neither will anger or depression. are you to emotional to do that? then find a stronger emotion than the one that you want to go away.

just remember that you are master over your emotions not the other way around. they are a part of you but not the only part. My grandma died of an infection 2 months ago. she suffered in a hospital for 4-6 month in and out before. death is better than to watch your body slowly turn to mush. she told me that if she didn't get better soon that she wanted to die. two days later we berried her. i was sad even depressed but letting that overcome me would be bad, and it would mean that she was hurting me. she never wanted to hurt me in her life so i don't want to let her death do it either.
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23 / M / Abyss
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Posted 2/3/16
Immerse yourself in a hobby.

Mine would be reading/ArcGIS/Running/Drinking like a fish.

While I haven't felt any loss for any of the deaths in my family (death doesn't phase me), I am no stranger when it comes to sorrow. Nearly succeeded in offing myself once. Pity it failed! All I can say is keep active. Physical activity reduces depression. Don't stay locked up or alone.
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Posted 2/3/16 , edited 2/3/16

melodyXXnur wrote:


Because the sadness will not go away even if I shed tears. Someone died


You shouldn't have to try to be happy over this. People will let you grieve and they should be empathetic.
That kind of sadness doesn't go away over night. If you want to ease your mind away from it, preoccupy yourself with something or play calming / upbeat music.

The best advice I can give to you though, is to just talk about it. Talk to as many people as you need. Your close friends are the best remedy. I've never been the type of person to pretend to be happy and eventually it will happen. I wallow in things until I'm so tired of being upset that I drag myself out of them.

I see that it was your grandmother that died. Speaking from personal experience, I filled my life with my best friend at the time, who had just lost hers the year prior. We cried a lot together and then just did things. Anything. Walked around the town, watched silly anime, played games, etc. If you don't have this type of person, talk to people online. That sadness will seep back in sometimes when you're feeling particularly nostalgic, and even years later I sometimes get upset when thinking about her, but it's healthy. It's good to miss the ones we lost.

No matter how you go about it, just know that in a few weeks or months you'll be ok.
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Posted 2/3/16
Let it out. Don't be afraid to show your feelings for your family. Why would you be ashamed for your love for your grandma?

I'm going through some serious times myself, and I was told that it takes three months for brain to "adjust" to something that you can't accept, and given the time I finally start getting the grasp of things again, I'd say that's about right for me. So, just let it out and give it time.

If you are disliked for crying for your deceased granma, you really need to lose a friend or two.
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24 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 2/3/16
Usually saying a phrase over and over in your head works. I do it a lot of times if I do get sad, if you have that phrase or saying in your head, make it remind you of something positive and motivating, and when you keep repeating it, emotions tend to level out.

My best friend lost his mother to cancer about a year ago. I was very close to her and their family, so full of life, positive, happy, always trying to make you laugh, infectious with joy.

It is almost impossible to hold back your feelings, just let them out. I mean I tried so hard when I attended the funeral not to cry, but the moment I walked up to my friend I just broke down, and it was almost impossible to stop. After that day I was still thinking about it, so when I got back home, still feeling down, I picked up my guitar, said over and over in my mind, "This is for you" and I started making a song for her, and all the sadness turned into determination.

Sometimes you need to tell yourself something in order to begin to look past such things
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