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Post Reply Networking is manipulation?
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Posted 2/6/16
So im trying to figure out networking but whenever i look at it all i see is socially acceptable manipulation.
You pretend to be interested in people and talk to them even if you hate there guts or them and you hate talking and become "Friends"
You then use your fake friends connections to help you get better things in life or to better things such as other connections and people to pretend to be friends with.
All Networking is from what i can see is a bunch of people pretending to like eachother and smooth talking eachother in order to benefit themselves.
Am i wrong?
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Posted 2/6/16
and there is a problem with this somehow?
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Posted 2/6/16
well it works
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Posted 2/6/16

Spectreman wrote:

and there is a problem with this somehow?


Manipulation is bad (according to everyone)
Hence everyone who says that is a hypocrite

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Posted 2/6/16
It's a rather cynical way of looking at it, I guess. Part of being an adult is at times having to get along with people you may not actually like - particularly at work. So, in the interest of workplace advancement and cohesion you kind of have to network to at least some degree.

It isn't like the people you network with get nothing out of it either. They're potentially helping you, yes, but you're also helping them. Symbiosis vs parasitism.
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Posted 2/6/16 , edited 2/6/16

iriomote wrote:

It's a rather cynical way of looking at it, I guess. Part of being an adult is at times having to get along with people you may not actually like - particularly at work. So, in the interest of workplace advancement and cohesion you kind of have to network to at least some degree.

It isn't like the people you network with get nothing out of it either. They're potentially helping you, yes, but you're also helping them. Symbiosis vs parasitism.



Well i don't get along with people to well unless they share the same interests otherwise i don't give 0 shits about them and could never do so i mean i get along with them and get the job done but i couldn't care if they wanted to be my friend or got fired etc.

It just seems scummy to network in my opinion and hence why i don't really do it well that and it tires and bores me.

I would be the parasite in this situation because i have nothing to offer to help them and i'm not going to go out of my way to make them happy and do things for them unless i'm friends with them.

That's just me though.
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Posted 2/6/16
It can be but isn't always. You'll go further in life more often than not if you do it though.
Posted 2/6/16
That's the real world for you
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Posted 2/6/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

So im trying to figure out networking but whenever i look at it all i see is socially acceptable manipulation.
You pretend to be interested in people and talk to them even if you hate there guts or them and you hate talking and become "Friends"
You then use your fake friends connections to help you get better things in life or to better things such as other connections and people to pretend to be friends with.
All Networking is from what i can see is a bunch of people pretending to like eachother and smooth talking eachother in order to benefit themselves.
Am i wrong?


Business is business. You gotta survive somehow. Maybe such "manipulation" will develop to something sincere.
Posted 2/6/16
I don't think that's manipulation. It's pretentious, yes. But you'll get nowhere in life if you act however you want to anyone you don't like. Like the saying goes, you're more likely to attract bees with honey than vinegar. Even rich people have to suck up to others, e.g. their customers or clients.
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Posted 2/6/16

zendude wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

So im trying to figure out networking but whenever i look at it all i see is socially acceptable manipulation.
You pretend to be interested in people and talk to them even if you hate there guts or them and you hate talking and become "Friends"
You then use your fake friends connections to help you get better things in life or to better things such as other connections and people to pretend to be friends with.
All Networking is from what i can see is a bunch of people pretending to like eachother and smooth talking eachother in order to benefit themselves.
Am i wrong?


Business is business. You gotta survive somehow. Maybe such "manipulation" will develop to something sincere.


Maybe but i don't befriend people unless they are into something i'm into.
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Posted 2/6/16
If you have good grades, extracurriculars, and are smart/witty/ingenious, you can do really well without networking.

Networking helps exponentially, but if you've got all of the above, then you don't need to network and can probably land a $70k+ salary right out of college w/o networking.
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Posted 2/6/16
What are you talking about. Manipulation isn't always bad.
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Posted 2/6/16 , edited 2/6/16

lambofgenesis wrote:

If you have good grades, extracurriculars, and are smart/witty/ingenious, you can do really well without networking.

Networking helps exponentially, but if you've got all of the above, then you don't need to network and can probably land a $70k+ salary right out of college w/o networking.


^ This is what every kid thinks until they graduate. You would be one of the few lucky ones if you end up how you said. Majority don't get that luxury right out of college. Unfortunately the real world isn't so kind to reward just the above. Most of those higher paying jobs require experience that kids won't have. In other words, you have to work your way up and pay your dues before you can get the big boy money.
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Posted 2/6/16
I don't consider networking to be manipulation. At least not all the time. It's about forming mutually beneficial business relationships. It might seem shallow to you, but not every relationship needs to be deep and sincere. Sometimes people just want to work together to further their goals. Just because you can't relate doesn't mean there is something wrong with everyone else. More likely the problem is with you.
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