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Post Reply Networking is manipulation?
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22 / M / Hongdae
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Posted 2/6/16
Nobody is forcing you to network. I dont have any social networks, and i dont plan to ever.

Not all networking is manipulation. Its just convenient for some people, for others it can be manipulation. But anything/anyone can be manipulated if you play it right.
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 2/6/16 , edited 2/6/16
Depending on what you do, especially regarding careers, you cannot get very far without networking to some degree. I'm an industrial electrician. I cannot be bluntly honest 100% of the time, keep to myself, and expect to keep and land jobs.
De0702 
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53 / M
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Posted 2/6/16
Networking is like politics...
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16 / F
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Posted 2/6/16 , edited 2/6/16
You can't prevent it, it's the freaking entire world
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Posted 2/6/16

dotsforlife wrote:


lambofgenesis wrote:

If you have good grades, extracurriculars, and are smart/witty/ingenious, you can do really well without networking.

Networking helps exponentially, but if you've got all of the above, then you don't need to network and can probably land a $70k+ salary right out of college w/o networking.


^ This is what every kid thinks until they graduate. You would be one of the few lucky ones if you end up how you said. Majority don't get that luxury right out of college. Unfortunately the real world isn't so kind to reward just the above. Most of those higher paying jobs require experience that kids won't have. In other words, you have to work your way up and pay your dues before you can get the big boy money.


It depends on your major. If you go chem, the entry-level qchemist jobs start at $50-60k, but no one wants them, because there's that cap. Even if they pay for your Masters and u get a $10k increase in salary, staying a qchemist for life leaves u at $60-70k forever.

I think most majors that have a great starting salary with entry-level positions.... as long as you're not majoring in something easy or over-flooded like English or one of those liberal arts majors. Those are the ones you need to network in... oh and Business. OMG everyone's a business major.
Humms 
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24 / M / CAN, ON
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Posted 2/6/16
Welcome to the world, reality, and future.
Guardian of A/M/P
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Yo Mama's House
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Posted 2/6/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


zendude wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

So im trying to figure out networking but whenever i look at it all i see is socially acceptable manipulation.
You pretend to be interested in people and talk to them even if you hate there guts or them and you hate talking and become "Friends"
You then use your fake friends connections to help you get better things in life or to better things such as other connections and people to pretend to be friends with.
All Networking is from what i can see is a bunch of people pretending to like eachother and smooth talking eachother in order to benefit themselves.
Am i wrong?


Business is business. You gotta survive somehow. Maybe such "manipulation" will develop to something sincere.


Maybe but i don't befriend people unless they are into something i'm into.


I really do like the way you put it, "Socially Accepted Manipulation".
Dyrnax 
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22 / M / Britain
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Posted 2/6/16
It's all on your perception I guess. I find that it's not that way in most cases, occasionally someone might "manipulate" others to succeed in life but then again, everybody does that sometimes. A lot of the time, I imagine people are just networking to enjoy themselves.
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Posted 2/6/16
Manipulating other people is the only enjoyable part of going to work. Why would anyone complain about it?
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34 / F / The Bahamas
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Posted 2/6/16

searsdh wrote:

Manipulating other people is the only enjoyable part of going to work. Why would anyone complain about it?


I'll agree to that if you are in a job you don't particularly enjoy. Of course, there is also the joy that comes from petty theft of office supplies...or so my former supervisor used to tell me.

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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 2/6/16

dotsforlife wrote:


lambofgenesis wrote:

If you have good grades, extracurriculars, and are smart/witty/ingenious, you can do really well without networking.

Networking helps exponentially, but if you've got all of the above, then you don't need to network and can probably land a $70k+ salary right out of college w/o networking.


^ This is what every kid thinks until they graduate. You would be one of the few lucky ones if you end up how you said. Majority don't get that luxury right out of college. Unfortunately the real world isn't so kind to reward just the above. Most of those higher paying jobs require experience that kids won't have. In other words, you have to work your way up and pay your dues before you can get the big boy money.


70k? what job would that be.

I'm going to try to become a programmer and they get paid 40k a year ._.
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Posted 2/6/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

So im trying to figure out networking but whenever i look at it all i see is socially acceptable manipulation.
You pretend to be interested in people and talk to them even if you hate there guts or them and you hate talking and become "Friends"
You then use your fake friends connections to help you get better things in life or to better things such as other connections and people to pretend to be friends with.
All Networking is from what i can see is a bunch of people pretending to like eachother and smooth talking eachother in order to benefit themselves.
Am i wrong?


See, here's the thing: that's certainly one way to network, but it's honestly the worst way. There's a difference between constructing an elaborate false identity for yourself and conducting some basic research on your coworkers' interests so you can talk about what they want to every now and again (or better yet, just ask them to explain it and sincerely listen). One is unnecessarily complicated, stressful, and manipulative, the other is just a social kindness. Likewise, there is a difference between pretending you like someone you despise and maintaining a healthy professional relationship. You don't have to like the people you work with, but you do have to maintain a professional atmosphere to sustain workflow. That means no arguing, no biting remarks, and cooperating even when you don't like someone. If they can't do the same and won't respond to requests to maintain basic professionalism then you could always complain to your manager. That's kind of what they're there for, to sustain workflow. If the person you're having a problem with is your manager, just remember: almost every boss has a boss.

As for networking to get work, when people attend networking events and put their names and contact information up on networking sites they know what they're getting into. They are aware that the people who are contacting them are doing so because they're interested in learning more about a workplace, a career field, the direction of an industry from an inside perspective, and so on. You shouldn't feel like you're being manipulative or deceptive about your intentions when you contact people through such avenues. They are there to answer exactly those kind of questions and to give that exact kind of advice. They are there to recruit people for their companies. They know you're not e-mailing them, private messaging them, or calling them because you want to be BFFs. They do not want to gain BFFs through those channels.

Furthermore, pulling strings with the social network you already have is an understood and accepted behaviour. If you have a close friend who works in a field you're qualified for it is okay to ask them to keep an ear to the ground for potential openings in their company. Sometimes you will actually be doing your friend a favour by putting yourself up to have your name passed around, because there are companies that offer financial incentives for referring newcomers. It's also acceptable to have your friends help you prepare for interviews, look for openings, and so on. They're your friends, they care about your welfare pretty much by definition. Make friends sincerely and you'll have a more effective, cooperative network than if you just tried to make friends with anyone and everyone you thought would be able to help you get ahead later on. Attend meetings for clubs and professional groups you actually care about, that you genuinely want to pursue, and the process will proceed naturally. There's nothing manipulative about it then.
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Posted 2/6/16
Gonna leave this here. For those of you who are Americans, have college degrees and no criminal history, get yourself a government job.

Wanna make 100K by the time you're 30? Government job. Want job security? Government job. Short of an act of congress, once you have tenure, you're never getting fired regardless of how much you mess up.

As for networking, the only networking you need to do is buy coffee for your superiors and tell them how wonderful they are. That's really how you get promoted at a government job. It also explains why most people high up in government are incompetent.
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31 / F / alexandri, va
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Posted 2/6/16

Akage-chan wrote:

Gonna leave this here. For those of you who are Americans, have college degrees and no criminal history, get yourself a government job.

Wanna make 100K by the time you're 30? Government job. Want job security? Government job. Short of an act of congress, once you have tenure, you're never getting fired regardless of how much you mess up.

As for networking, the only networking you need to do is buy coffee for your superiors and tell them how wonderful they are. That's really how you get promoted at a government job. It also explains why most people high up in government are incompetent.


That might have worked 10 or so years ago, but let me tell you now getting a government job these days is hard. I have been a contractor to the feds for quite a few years now and unless you are fresh out of college most branches of the government are not looking. Also the agency I work at has not been also not been hiring many people to fill civil service positions they now are going contract... It pretty much sucks. Time to try the foreign service exam a few more time. (guess who I work with)


Networking is how things work, its all who you know. But the ways you use that network can make it manipulation or not.
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F / San Francisco
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Posted 2/6/16
Contractors have different rules than those who are directly employed. I have a friend who works as a contractor and his rules and hiring process was a lot different than mine. Most government jobs do look for relatively recent grads, but the tests to get in a relatively easy. The tests at their academy vary by job and can be very difficult. The FBI has an extremely difficult physical test.
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