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addressing people!
Posted 2/25/16
From a stranger..? I'll just ignore it lol.
Me and my friends use lovely nicknames for jokes.
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29 / M / B.C, Canada
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Posted 2/25/16 , edited 2/25/16

iriomote wrote:

In my experience, it seems like the "odd" terms are typically used only by your opposite gender. I can recall plenty of women addressing me in ways I find strange, but not men.


Personally, I default to Ms. for women unless they're clearly older than I, or I notice a wedding ring, in which case I switch to Ma'am.

I address older men as Sir by default.

Never been sure how to address younger men.. I mean, if it were a group I'd go with Gentlemen, but in singular? Fortunately, most scenarios requiring that I address younger men (whose names I don't already know) are ones where it's appropriate to address them as Stupid.


Meh the army taught me when in doubt to always addresses them as SIr or Ma'am. Some of the officers we had were a couple of years younger than me so I decided to never use age as an indicator of rank. Of course soldiers are decent enough to have a standardized system in place.

But civilian life meh. Not that it bothers me, there are plenty of real concerns out there. Being addressed by way of a term of endearment is not one of them in my books.
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Posted 2/25/16

HuastecoOtaku wrote:

When I have Hispanic couples I also make sure I always to talk to the husband first. I can't talk to the wife unless I get small hints that I can.



WHAT?! OMG, I would lose.my.shit if this happened to me. I mean, I have gotten similar treatment where people talk to my husband and then if I say something they respond to my husband and it drives me bonkers. I've refused to do business with people over it actually.

But just goes to show you what one person deems polite or good manners another person deems disrespectful.

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Posted 2/25/16

ck1west wrote:

Ok this my first topic so go easy on me?
>Here's my question about addressing people?
first example > I go to grocery store and the boy at counter does not know me? I pay for my things he say's to me thank you hunny?? know first of all i am not his honey? or thanks hun.

other example i go to 7-11 again i get called np -sweety? calling me by these terms to me is not ok?
what every happen to thank you miss or just thank you very much?
*so here is my question have manners just gone to hell what are they teaching kids today?*


I have around 15 years of experience working in retail which involves serving members of public on a daily basis. I greet each new customer (who appears to be an adult) as 'Good morning/afternoon/evening sir for male and miss for female, when i think they are not an adult i simply greet them by the time of day. At no point do i ever say hun, love, darling, hunny, sweety or anything else of the sort. I personally consider it rude and intrusive. Simple manners and a smile can go a long way. I always end each transaction/customer with either 'thanks/cheers/see you again or buy now'. I'm also a supervisor/deputy manager so if i was to ever hear another member of staff saying those other terms I'd request them not to do so and say simple manners are fine.

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Posted 2/25/16
lol OP bless ur heart
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35 / M / Barnegat Light, NJ
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Posted 2/25/16
getting called something cutesy or age determined by someone younger than you IS weird and slightly off putting. My friend and i met for lunch today and the guy at the grill who served us everything kept referring to us a "boys." like, alright boys, here's your food boys, enjoy boys, how is it boys and thank you boys! now, we weren't offended, but the guy was clearly younger than us. we were just slightly confused. why not "guys?" why "boys?" is this some new jive im not hep to yet?
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8500 / F / Apollo...
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Posted 2/25/16
Hmmm. Strangely those terms don't even faze me. I feel more uncomfortable when people call me "ma'am" or "lady". The places I've lived, people would call girls ma, mama, sugar, sweetie, babe, baby, etc. and to me it seemed like a way to replace having to learn the person's name and just use whatever sounds cute at the time. Though it works in informal settings, I wouldn't recommend it when doing sales pitches or business/formal settings.
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Posted 2/25/16
Well if it doesn't feel forced I'm ok with it.

I'll be more comfortable if someone who has experience with that kind of thing did it, and not some inexperienced young person who's trying to force it.

It's a nice gesture, some people who work at bars do it, restaurants, it tends to break the high strung uptight greetings or introductions . Not that there isn't anything wrong with being called sir, but it's not necessary, I don't know. I guess I'm not really interested in things like this. A simple hi, good morning, how are you, basically what we say on impulse are good enough for me.... easy going, I'm not going to get offended if you call me sweety, honey, darlin, hon, I mean if a guy does it to a girl the only acceptable one would be..... none actually XD it's funny because i'm not being prejudice, I just find that a woman handles these situation much better. That's just reality, women tend to have more hospitality than men, I don't care about statistics, this is what I was raised on, that's why I have respect for such greetings, it is generally a more open and friendly manner of introducing yourself to someone. People forget the meaning behind respect these days, and I just see through too many people lately.
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28 / M / Kansas, USA
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Posted 2/25/16
It doesn't bug me at all. Smack dab in the middle of the U.S. there are so many different kinds of people that I get addressed by any number of regional and cultural terms. While I habitually say "Sir" and "Ma'am," and may or may not address a kid as bub or love, I regularly get called hun, love, haus, chief, blood, dear, sugar, darlin', bud, bub, boss, and pard'ner (yeah, people still use it.) It's not really weird; it just depends on where you are.
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19 / M / east coast. Let t...
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Posted 2/25/16
Honestly nobody dares to call me anything like that.
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23 / M / U.S.A.
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Posted 2/25/16
I say "Man"
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21 / M
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Posted 2/25/16
i'd rather be addressed by strangers as sir.
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Posted 2/25/16 , edited 2/25/16

ck1west wrote:

Ok this my first topic so go easy on me?
>Here's my question about addressing people?
first example > I go to grocery store and the boy at counter does not know me? I pay for my things he say's to me thank you hunny?? know first of all i am not his honey? or thanks hun.

other example i go to 7-11 again i get called np -sweety? calling me by these terms to me is not ok?
what every happen to thank you miss or just thank you very much?
*so here is my question have manners just gone to hell what are they teaching kids today?*


Mannerisms and chivalry are relics of the past. If you want respect and admonishment from others I suggest you earn it from them personally. I think you're lucky he called you "*honey" that's a term of endearment that your ungrateful attitude doesn't deserve.
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 2/25/16
Terms of endearment make me feel uncomfortable, when they're from strangers. It's because, to me, the terms imply familiarity. I don't usually take offense, though. Only some unease. I don't mind when I'm on good terms with the speakers.
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Posted 2/25/16 , edited 2/25/16

Pahoehoe5 wrote:
WHAT?! OMG, I would lose.my.shit if this happened to me. I mean, I have gotten similar treatment where people talk to my husband and then if I say something they respond to my husband and it drives me bonkers. I've refused to do business with people over it actually.

But just goes to show you what one person deems polite or good manners another person deems disrespectful.
one of the reasons some places women can't do business as they would "trigger" on that, atleast having a partner knowing to cooldown or make one understand where to take the next step would help and make it back for both sides, where as you gain respect back more so and can move a bit more freely even if it wasn't the best start sometimes you just gotta work a bit on others cultures/views/"rules".

Some of it is meant to be a bit more "respectfull" as they don't know it wouldn't be and so the different treatments of women from place to place as you could see just by words to actions/reactions.

and so on.
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