Post Reply im curious to find out how living in japan is for guys and girls
1817 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M / PA
Offline
Posted 3/5/16 , edited 3/6/16
like what the title says im very interested in learning about life in japan in general and how and if the whole dating is different then the U.S.?
3710 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / F / Kumamoto, Japan
Offline
Posted 3/5/16 , edited 3/5/16

alucard396 wrote:

like what the title says im very interested in learning about life in japan in general and how and if the whole dating is different then the U.S.?


I lived in Japan for 4 years. I can only speak for the girl's side of things.

I went on a few dates, but they never really amounted to anything. I lived in a city of about 700,000 and foreigners weren't all that rare, but still rare enough to be considered "exotic" in that sense. Most of the dates I went on ended up not going anywhere because they wanted me, the white girl from America, to essentially be "Japanese". I remember I failed horribly with a date because I didn't poor his beer out of his beer bottle into his tiny beer glass. Another time it went kaput because I actually ate my food (because I was hungry). "Do you always eat this much?" He asked. I worked all day, and I was hungry. Sorry. :(

Another thing going against girls is the age. As I neared 30 years old, the older generation would warn me that I needed to find someone to get married soon. I always answered with the fact that where I came from, there wasn't really a point against you if you chose not to get married young or before 30, but they kept on with it. "You don't want to end up alone, do you?" and "Don't you like Japanese boys?" because there weren't many foreign men in the area.

Living in Japan (making a living) is not easy. I make far more now taking calls at a call center than I ever did yearly in Japan. My job at an eikaiwa gave me one paid sick day a year (if I had to miss more than one day for an illness they would subtract 10,000 yen (about 100 dollars at the time) from my monthly paycheck (yeah, I got paid once a month -- that's the norm). My days off were Sunday and Tuesday and there were not other substitute teachers, so if I wanted to have a life and do something on a Saturday (which was hard cause it was the busiest day) I would have to find someone and then since they didn't give teachers vacation time or personal time, I had to allow them to subtract 10,000 yen for every day I was gone from my monthly paycheck.

You make friends, but you sometimes wonder whether they're your friend because your foreign (like a novelty piece) or because they actually like you as a person. There were many a friendship that would suddenly end when they got their enjoyment out of me. They learned enough about where I was from, laughed at the differences enough, and I wasn't relevant anymore. A lot of foreigners have this problem... Some don't care because it means, honestly, having a lot of short-lived attention. But no one you can really go to or talk to if you need support or help.

You pay healthcare and city tax separately from your paycheck. Your healthcare will depend on if you are legally fulltime or parttime (I say "legally" because your employer can write on paper your fulltime but you won't be legally fulltime in the eyes of the government). When you're part time, your employer doesn't have to supply you with healthcare (the kind that will give you annual checkups and is all around more affordable because it's through your employer). Instead, since it is a socialized system, you will have to get hoken, which is pretty expensive. I was paying 26000 yen (260 dollars at the time) monthly for my insurance. It's all based on income, so your first year will be cheap. Then onward it just goes up and up.

Tax is the same way. You pay it separately and it's based on your income. When I left, it was 16500 (165ish USD) monthly.

Women in Japan date to find a mate. They will work fulltime or parttime until they find a man to marry and then they usually quit their job and become a housewife. This has been changing though as more and more women are waiting longer to settle down and have children. Ultimately, the majority of women want a man who can be the sole breadwinner. They want to balance your checkbooks, tell you when you can spend your money and hang out with friends to drink by giving you "play money", cook for you when you get home, clean, etc. They'll also spend your money by going out and hanging out with their friends during the day.

At least this is what it was like in Kumamoto, Japan. It's still considered fairly inaka (rural).
1817 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M / PA
Offline
Posted 3/6/16
thank you so much for answering how do you come to find a job there?

what you said earlier about how some Japanese people will only be friends to learn about america do you think there are a lot of woman who use foreign men there they call them gaijin hunters? i am especially concerned because where im at in my neighborhood there are alot girls i have met here that are all unfaithful and its annoying hard to cope with what i essentially mean is do you think there are alot of woman there in japan that are unfaithful?


i have watched some of your YouTube videos there really cool do you think i could pm you some questions if it wont inconvenience about japan would really appreciate it?
You must be logged in to post.