First  Prev  1  2  3  4  Next  Last
Post Reply My story. Something I'd like to make a reality
Humms 
10583 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / CAN, ON
Offline
Posted 3/11/16 , edited 8/28/16
Edited this week( Dante concept art WIP) Additional Info on Luna. Story time with Shtickles: Overseers


Just playing around with certain design, trying to find the overall look for my characters. I think so far everything is turning out pretty good This WIP is mainly for the facial features and look of the character . :


I'm on CR enough, and I know there are a lot of great artist and writers in the world.

I guess what I'm saying is that since this is what I really want to create, I thought I would just start to shed some light on Characters, story, and other information that I have been constantly thinking about for the past 2 years or so. Just for the hell of it, because who knows, Its something at least, and at least its out there for whoever.

At this point I am growing as an artist. Im not the greatest, but I can almost begin to fully bring my story to life.

When will it be done? No idea, but it is something that cannot be dropped or forgotten, I told myself to finish it no matter what. Regardless of providing for myself, living expenses, and the tools I have now to create my story, I do not let the trials and tribulations of life prevent me from bringing such a dream to reality.


The story is called World X I have been dreading on the name, but in all honesty it just seemed to fit. It is a Fantasy adventure. A world divided, no hope for a brighter future. summoned are those who seek to correct what has been done, to relive what they have endured; to stop a power threatening the very existence of the world. X is but a symbol, it reminds us how much time will change the flow of humanity, the very core of our being.

The main focus is correction. Living under fear, but finding your true calling that will reach out to those who are in need of change. I Like mixing in humor within all the madness, because it shows you the value of wholesome interaction and easing such tension.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Chapter 1- A New Day




Chapter 2 http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-943381/my-story-something-id-like-to-make-a-reality?pg=2#53861583

Chapter 3http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-943381/my-story-something-id-like-to-make-a-reality?pg=3#54243481




Characters

Character: Luna
Height: 5'10
Weight: 150Lbs
Description: Long Jet black hair. Ruby red eyes, a slender body with sizable measurements. Fang that extends past her lip. Claw like fingernails. She has a wolfs tail and ears. Scars on both sides of her cheeks
Age: Unknown, but takes the appearance of a young adult.

Luna is probably one of the more complicated characters. Her existence is unknown. She is basically depicted as folk lore, or a legend that others in the world have been told. Luna is very calm and collective, but she is rather flustered and shy when she is introduced to new feelings. She has not fully understood human emotions, so she reacts to certain situations rather predictably; making her seem very cliche, but actually it is building her character slowly. rage finds Luna, but it is something she cannot control yet.

Being part wolf, Luna posses a variety of skills that surpass any normal human. Through the slow process of gaining her senses, she has excellent hearing, able to track down even the faintest of noises. When the time comes her tail acts as a receptor that identifies certain traits for most objects or people she comes into contact with, which does leave her body sensitive at times when she chooses to do so. Last but not least, her claws, both deadly and helpful to others, when the time comes her claws offer greater use than just simple anatomy.

WIP

Character: Dante
Height: 6'2
Weight: 220Lbs
Description:Brown Shaggy hair/ medium cut. hazelnut eyes. Strong build. Dark spot under his eyes.
Age: Unknown, but takes the appearance of a young adult.

The main protagonist for the story. A character very close to my heart. A man that can look within the very core of the people he meets, he discovers their fears, their hopes, desires, so he fights for the ones he holds close. He accepts pain in order to drive his power. Through his actions he teaches others to accept his way of thinking. Though there is only one person that he cannot understand, he cannot see his fears, he cannot understand his conviction, so he must become stronger to reach his power. The eternal struggle from within, to find the source of one's intentions.

Dante enters the world without any understanding of his own existence. He functions and communicates normally as a human. though his existence is not known, he slowly begins to put the pieces of his shattered life together. A very calm and tolerant individual, sometimes he can be annoyed very easily, but most of the time he is very serious and determined in his actions. At times he can act without thinking simply because it is out of instinct, and sometimes it will leave him hurting others, but as quickly as he acts upon his choices, he is quick to apologize and find resolve; creating a stronger bond of trust between the people he meets, and ultimately correcting his behavior.


Character: Aanna Under construction
Height: 5'6
Weight: 140Lbs
Description: Long Green hair with vibrant green eyes. Slender body, but toned in certain areas.
Age: Unknown, but takes the appearance of a young adult

Aanna is a really important character for the story. She helps to shift your focus within the story. She breaks tension when things need to lighten up, and right away she can get serious and ferocious to help keep a serious moment. She is a very independent character, though it may seem like she is always wanting attention, she has no problem with keeping to herself. She thrives on interaction, through the people she meets she connects with them on a very strong level. She does have a stronger bond between each person she meets, and it is why she also is more sensitive to when things dont turn out so good. I love this character soo much, I like to see her as the face to represent the story. Thats why These characters mean soo much to me, they are all unique, and they have such a great personality .

Aanna enters the world without understanding, just like Dante she can still communicate. She is a very energetic character, very happy and perky, always laughing, always smiling. She always wants to meet new people on her journey so she can connect with them. When she likes a certain someone, she tends to become rather rude and snarky in her behavior when she first meets them, this is mostly for men, but she ultimately becomes the fun loving individual that loves everyone. Though her behavior can sometimes be childish, she is still growing.


Character: Lord Razza

The main Antagonist of the story.

Height: 6'3
Weight: Unknown
Description: Long spiky purple hair with some facial hair. Sharp purple eyes. Very fit body type with a lot of mobility and flexibility.
Age: Unkown, but takes the appearance of an adult.

Lord Razza is a mystery. He is a very powerful individual that strikes fear into almost everyone he comes into contact with. He is the ruler of the land, he controls anything, and everyone. He is a very intelligent man, and a very fast conqueror. He has found a use for the world and has begun to use it as he pleases, just like the people he controls. He is cold, unforgiving, only what he desires he will seek. His methods are sick, but in the end it seems like he is trying to teach us something. His life is impossible to understand until we can realize his intentions.



Character: Taimiya

Height: 5'11
Weight: 192Lbs
Description: Long silver hair with blank grey eyes that have a certain gleam and shimmer to them. Usually covered by a cloak, but will expose his body when he is ready for battle. He has a very defined and aged build, muscle tone is very unique and his body has been through experience.
Age: 32, but his body does not age the same way, he looks much younger.

Taimiya has been a very long work in progress, but at last he finally has an appearance. Taimiya is the voice of justice, he is the protector of his people. A man who seeks the path of judgement, to once and for all rid the evil that has imprisoned many.

A man who has lived through the pain and suffering that no other could simply withstand. From the grasp of Lord Razza many were forced into a life of slavery, what was done was pure evil, out of greed and desire for one mans true goal. Taimiyas past is a rather tragic tale.

He is a very stern individual that does not tolerate disrespect. Through his struggles in the past he now teaches and trains others to find their true potential, to become a strong willed fighter that can defend against such evil. At times he travels far and wide around the world in order to find others who are worthy of his teachings. His eyes are most notably his main attribute. They are no ordinary eyes, they have the ability to see someones true power and capability, and it is with these eyes that he travels in search for a powerful ally. Though his personality is very strict, he can sometimes break into a frenzy from his hot headed attitude when someone tries to question his methods, or make a joke about it. Taimiya is always in deep thought, usually a meditative state where he can focus. At times he does not say much, but his mental state is very strong. He can observe a persons abilities the moment he lays eyes on them, he always watches every step, every movement, he sees everything even when others cannot. Though his personality is very strict, he does notice the happiness of others


Character: Leena

Height: 5'10
Weight:: 147 Lbs
Description: Long brown hair that is always tied up in a pony tail with Crimson Lake Eyes. She has a very powerful physique, she has a rather masculine vibe to her character, but overall her feminine appearance balances out her very strict behavior and defensive mentality.
Age: 25

This drawing took forever I might still play around with it, really picky with this one.... anyways.

Leena is pretty much a mentor towards most of the characters. Her character is strong yet vulnerable. raised to take the path of violence and battle, she instead denies such a path, and instead she distanced herself from most of her fathers training methods, refusing to use weapons for training and battle. Most of the time she secluded herself from her group, and began to follow two brothers that have been within their group. From a distance she would always watch them test their strength without them knowing. One day the brothers took notice, at the time Leena was very shy when it came to introductions, but she quickly began to boss around the two brothers, and ultimately began to push them harder. They have grown a strong bond of loyalty between each of them throughout the years, and they always work together in every battle.

She is a very stern individual, like Taimiya she does not tolerate disrespect, mainly because She has been training under Taimiya for some time, and she has picked up his sense of pride in making people stronger. She tends to like solo training, finding ways to strengthen her body on her own, but when it came to others she always insists that she would train them. Learning from Taimiya she has become very skilled in hand to hand combat, and she can take down almost every single male one on one. She is rather vulnerable as a character even though her strength and presence is not to be taken lightly. She can get flustered very easy when things seem to break her from the norm, or usual answers and outcomes, and sometimes she can lose her mind if this happens, and act out of anger towards someone, but her past has allowed her to disconnect such a grudge, and ultimately move on to whats important.


Characters- Kano / Mitsiri

Height: 6'2 / 6'
Weight: Combined 465Lbs
Description: Kano and Mitsiri both have black hair and dark green eyes. Kano has a short cut while Mitsiri has very shaggy and long hair. Both are extremely built in terms of muscle tone, walls of muscle that are synchronized with every step. Though there is a slight difference in height and weight, both are always side by side in every conflict.
Age: Kano- 27 Mitsiri- 26

The walls of the World. These two men thrived on power and brute force and always tested their strength whenever they could, or whenever they decided to find a challenge. You can see them always carrying with them their massive shields as they take on any challenge, or face off against any opposition. They settled within a small group that was on the constant run from Lord Razza, with the few they had Kano and Mitsiri started from a young age showing great power. Though most could not even keep up with the two brothers, both the brothers decided to maximize their potential by finding new tests of strength. A considerable gap between the two, one showing more dominance and resilience, it is Mitsiri who must make up for his weakness by always matching himself next to his brother Kano. Ever since they have met Leena both brothers soon developed a flawless execution of teamwork and cooperation which has made these two one of the strongest duos to ever hit the battle.

They follow Leenas orders like a Conductor as they Cater to her ever movement and signal. She has found a way to maximize Kano and Mitsiris full power by allowing them to achieve perfect synchronization in movement, speed, and pure brute force. Kano is more easy going for a lot of things, he does not accept someones behavior as wrong, nor poorly executed, he always allows others to show them what they're made of before he lays any judgement. Mitsiri is very playful, and he always has a positive mentality, but he usually gets easily manipulated by others into giving in for them. He is always 1 step behind Kano, so he always tries to become his equal.


Character: Talon

Height: 5"11
Weight: 185 Lbs
Description: A very toned down purple for hair color, not vibrant, but very dull, the drawing pretty much defines it. His hair is tied up, it is medium length, the picture pretty much defines it, I am not even going to attempt to find out the actual style, but this is pretty much how I want the character to look. His eyes, now this is probably a really difficult thing to achieve especially for where I am now, but I want his eyes to be like little mini tornado's , like both of his iris's are tiny tornados; so yeah, good luck me. He is supposed to resemble and really embody speed. His body is very maintained, but he doesn't need to go overboard with the amount of shred or muscle since he is pretty much one of the fastest characters in the story. In general his overall vibe is very cocky.
Age: Unknown but takes the appearance of an adult.

Talon is Lord Razzas right hand man. A man of pure speed he is the captain of Lord Razzas Army. Talon is another mystery, though he has lived within the World for some time his actual past isn't very clear, only Lord Razza knows of his past. Trained personally by Razza himself Talon has always lived by the sword, he has perfected the art of war and his skill with the sword can almost exceed Razza himself.

Talon is an individual who only sees perfection, taking after Lord Razza Talon developed an obsession with being one of the fastest warriors in the world. Having no real respect for the lives of others he takes orders from Razza like a dog, just as long as he can dispatch his targets with his own sword. Talon might have a twisted side to his personality, but he is a very dedicated warrior who ultimately shows respect towards a worthy opponent, which is why he takes orders from Razza, since Razza showed him respect towards the sword Talon ultimately took on a more sadistic side. As long as someone can go toe to toe with him, that is when he can begin to change his ways.

He is very cocky, and his only concern is being the fastest warrior in the world, but that doesnt mean he is completely brain washed. There is more to Talon than meets the eye, though he is very skilled and dangerous, there is this good deep within that is desperately trying to find it's way out.



Character: Yuna

Height: 5'8

Weight: 132lbs
Description: Silky long blue hair with various tones and hues. Vibrant blue eyes, for her size she has a very voluptuous figure. She is a rather melancholy character who just can't seem to find happiness, but her body still moves with grace and purpose.
Age: Unknown but takes the appearance of an adult

Yuna is a character best defined as a voice. Her character for the early part of the story does not reveal herself, but I wanted to showcase her character. Since she is such an important character I felt that in order to actually prepare for her reveal it is best to understand her personality and appearance. Yuna is the keeper of water within the world, and it is her duty to protect and distribute it according to her will. Her past of being completely used left her to wallow in her sea of despair and grief, living her life in solitude her cries of help are sub consciously felt throughout the world. Hatred she harbors, and it ultimately consumes her. Though her gentle spirit and loving embrace was once something she had, the betrayal that left her broken has changed her into a cold and unforgiving woman. Now almost everyone in the world is too afraid to even approach Yuna, though she still allows people to take from her resource, she has since revealed herself to others and has secluded herself to a large body of water where she lingers with her sorrow, dancing away the pain she creates her own friends from the only thing she can trust.

The first reveal of a Guardian. Yuna, the Guardian of water ( I totally want to finish the background for this )


Character: Blaze

Height: 5'5
Weight: 120 Lbs
Description: Medium red hair with red eyes, usually they will change color slightly depending on her power output, normally they would be a very light red; almost pinkish, but they will fluctuate from the color red, maybe a bit redish orange, colors of fire, etc. She is absolutely shredded, her body is in top physical performance, combine with her sinister style of fighting she is ridiculously agile. Her face is covered with a mask that cannot be removed, so only her eyes can express her emotion, though most of the time she has no emotion.
Age: Unknown, but takes the appearance of a Teenage.

Blaze is a very difficult character to understand So I'd like to take a moment to fully explain such a powerful and meaningful character. Her life is torture, being captive, locked away. She is silenced by a mask that cannot be removed, silent, but how very deadly she is. She is put through torture and pain so her emotions become non existent. Used as a machine for war, she is the final solution. Whatever destruction she carries out, she feels nothing for the lives taken. Ultimately she cannot feel sorry for her actions, she has no voice to hear her own cries, the tears that she would shed are burned away from the power she creates. Trapped, alone, forgotten, her mind is taken by the outcome of swift death brought upon others, only to drive herself insane from the constant feelings that burn within that tell her stop..... Why? Insanity consumes her, and the internal conflict between preventing this madness, but always being completely helpless, knowing no one but her master she is lost. Whatever life she thinks she has is shattered to pieces by the constant destruction and death of others, the screams of the people she slays are burned in her mind to further add to her insanity.

She is like a rose; those thorns that damage, the ones that know of them will never avoid such punishment; inflicted from something unavoidable, though her body is made of razors that cut too deep and burn to severe, the only one to endure this deadly embrace must ultimately know sacrifice, A shattered life that is lost to the past, but still they are here, still they wait, to be reborn. The only grace, the only beauty is within those petals, each and every single petal to form that beautiful rose. What is beauty? Must we embrace infliction itself in order to truly find it? Are we sorry for the damage that we've caused? Roses cannot speak, but if they could, what would they sound like? Do they mean to hurt others? From a distance we appreciate what makes them beautiful, but only when we embrace one, then we can truly feel that beauty.

Her heart still yearns for someone, but only she can break free from this curse herself. What her master has done to her, these unspeakable horrors, still she is unyielding . Though she is driven to the brink of insanity, her ears are always open, listening for the truth, listening to hope, even through the screams and pain she still holds on to the smallest shred of hope, the smallest flame in her heart that cannot be extinguished. What strength, what resilience, The passionate rose does not give way that easy. No matter what she has become, it is the one true voice that will set her free.



Character: Astrum

Height: 6’3

Weight: Unkown

Age: Unkown

Description: Astrum has medium to long hair, sometimes his hair will fluctuate in length seamlessly, but still staying the same shade of purplish red, and it radiates color, very silky and shimmering with life. Half of his face, specifically the top half of his face is covered by a protective energy that contains his form. He takes on a human form to connect with the present life forms as he searches for possible candidates.

Astrum plays a huge role within the world. Understandably he is not introduced until further into the story. His existence like most is uncertain, but he was not of the world we call X. Astrum finds importance in power, who has power, and what power others can attain. He does not belong to any side, he does not understand the concept of good and evil, only what he truly believes and sees for his own eyes.
He is a very intellectual individual, both in mind and spirit. Though he is not defined or labeled as an actual human, he is only seen as true power and energy. When he becomes a part of the world for what ever reason he chooses, he is not hostile, nor does he have to be defensive, since no one in their right mind would ever dare face Astrum. He is told in tales and legends of the world, how he was an idol, a presence of unimaginable power. They say he would never speak, probably for the simple fact that no one was capable enough to show him worth, he observed the people of the world. Though the world itself showed promise of power he always kept a close eye on this particular planet. Astrum is not limited to just this world we call X, He can choose to travel wherever he wants to within the universe itself.

It now seems Astrum has become interested with a few individuals within the world, and he now seeks to search for the next true power.

The first reveal of an Overseer. Astrum- The Celestial Overseer




Story board/ story scenes,comics, manga
Here is my first story board attempt. My hand writting is probably disgusting, but it still might be clear enough to read, but ill type in the actual words to the scenes just for clarity. This is the introduction to the entire story. This scene revolves around the meeting of both Dante, and AAnna.

Sort of like how you read manga, I went from the top right to left as far as order goes. Try reading it normally, but I have added the dialogue above the every scene

Dialogue assistance
red- box 1 or first dialogue section
Blue- box 2 2nd^^^
Green- box 3 ^^^
Orange- box 4 ^^^
Purple- Box 5 ^^^

The start of a new journey.
Page 1

Page 2


Page 3

Page 4

Page 5

Page 6

Page 7


Story time with Shtickles

Well well, The mightiest of moles has appeared. Shtickles is pretty much the mascot, but he is another very important Character.

He will pop up from his hole from time to time to tell you all about World X, and the stories he has experienced.


Guardians Part 1


Guardians Part 2



The great Dividing



Overseers


It has been to long! please, sit and stay a while.

Overseers, quite the topic to discuss, but understand that this is limited for your own good.

Overseers are truly seen as Immortal Gods. Though guardians were thought to be on the same level of power, overseers are the true masters of their domain. Each having a unique order and Oath that they must ultimately abide by. However there are only three overseers in existence as far as we know. Celestial, Spiritual, and evolution, the trinity that keeps this world in perfect order and balance.

Overseers are never to harm another human, they are simply given the task to enforce their rule over their specific domain and duty in order to maintain harmony and balance within the world. Celestial overseer is given the task of protecting the world from the universe, but only when it has chosen a specific planet to protect, only one planet may be rooted to his/ hers rule as an overseer, but at any given time that overseer can deny that world of his presence, leaving it exposed and unprotected. Spiritual overseer has control of spiritual energy that has released from their original vessel, given the task to properly send these spirits to their rightful place, or allow this spiritual energy to become one with the planet. In addition Spiritual overseers can rightfully take this spiritual energy in order to freely use it for their own will, as long as they sacrifice a single position as an overseer. Positions, or levels vary.

Last but not least, evolution overseer. now the evolution overseer is a very unique overseer, because of their ability to interact with humans, they also have the ability to breed with humans in order to create an offspring worthy of the title, but in doing so they will become mortal until that offspring becomes a suitable candidate. Given the task to live a life of mortality in order to prove the worth of the human race.

Very brief, but an exceptional lesson for these beings . Until next time " * scurries back down a hole*




Stay tuned ( If you give a damn that is LOL)
3091 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 3/11/16
13141 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M
Offline
Posted 3/25/16
Hey, so what are you looking for in terms of input/criticism?
17771 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
33 / M / outer wall, level...
Offline
Posted 3/26/16
well your artwork sucks, mostly cus the lack of a realist skelliton.
other that that, it show promise. its good enough to be a workable style of artwork.
Humms 
10583 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / CAN, ON
Offline
Posted 3/28/16

sundin13 wrote:

Hey, so what are you looking for in terms of input/criticism?


Oh.. didn't expect people to post.

What am I looking for? Just someone to look at it. Criticism, I don't care, tell me what you think. I don't care what people say about it, as long as they say something.
Humms 
10583 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / CAN, ON
Offline
Posted 3/28/16

nemoskull wrote:

well your artwork sucks, mostly cus the lack of a realist skelliton.
other that that, it show promise. its good enough to be a workable style of artwork.


Of course. Like I said, I'm not a great artist, but it's good enough to put an image in your head.

Thank you
17771 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
33 / M / outer wall, level...
Offline
Posted 3/28/16

Humms wrote:


nemoskull wrote:

well your artwork sucks, mostly cus the lack of a realist skelliton.
other that that, it show promise. its good enough to be a workable style of artwork.


Of course. Like I said, I'm not a great artist, but it's good enough to put an image in your head.

Thank you


i just really want to love it, its very stylistic, reminds me of kill la kill when i first saw it.
mostly its the unatural poses. other that that, its like 90% there. dont give it up.
13141 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M
Offline
Posted 3/29/16

Humms wrote:


sundin13 wrote:

Hey, so what are you looking for in terms of input/criticism?


Oh.. didn't expect people to post.

What am I looking for? Just someone to look at it. Criticism, I don't care, tell me what you think. I don't care what people say about it, as long as they say something.


Okay, well...here ya go:

First of all, I would highly suggest getting a drawing tablet so you can create your art digitally. Its going to need to get there eventually, and you'll save yourself a lot of hassle now if you get on top of it. Additionally, there is typically a layout that is used for comics which allows for scale-ability as well as a little bit of bleed and whatnot (http://www.idrawdigital.com/2010/01/tutorial-page-layouts-for-comics/). This is also made a lot easier if you work digitally. It would also make the lettering infinitely easier.

About the Art:
-I would like to see you try to polish your character portraits. While its fine to "storyboard" your actual pages, you should have essentially character drawings which are polished to ensure that you keep things consistent (and to allow more critique of your art style). This usually involves a few full body drawings (front, profile, rear and maybe 3/4ths) of the character just standing as well as several drawing of the face with the character's different emotions.
-Still speaking about the character portraits, I feel like the eyes are both too big and too high on the head (at least on the male drawing). I also feel like you should simplify the hair a lot (at least for the male). As is, it looks like its going to be hell to draw in the actual panels.

About the Panelling:
-Why are you going right to left? I mean, its your decision, but I feel like you are just cutting off a part of your potential audience if you are making a western comic that reads manga-style.
-Think of your perspectives in terms of a movie. Where would they shoot to make a shot look interesting. You seem to just be placing your camera without much thought, but if all thats happening in a panel is a different character is talking, think about ways to combine them into one panel or think about ways you can make that shot interesting (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UE3jz_O_EM). For example, on page two, your first two panels are just close-ups of the characters. I would pull the camera back a little and do that as a wide frame with both characters in the shot. Actually, all the dialogue on that whole page could go into one wide frame your panels should transition from action to action. Right now they don't do much of that.
-The backgrounds. First of all, you don't need them in every frame. Grab a manga or a comic off of your shelf. The majority of panels either don't have backgrounds or have very simple backgrounds. Generally, if they don't tell you anything, you don't need them. If you are using a shot to establish setting, then keep the background, but you only need to do that a few times per scene.

About the Story:
-Where is the hook? I feel like you just dumped me into this setting and after almost 10 pages, I still haven't seen a hook. Just two characters that we know nothing about shooting the shit.
-Your characters relationship doesn't really make sense to me. It feels weird for characters with a past and even weirder for strangers.
-Your wagon. Do horses not exist in this world? I'm sorry if this seems like a nitpick, but its weird, is it not? Take a page from literally any fantasy story ever and just give them a horse to ride on, or a horse to pull the carriage. Not only would it make more sense to a reader, but I think that it would allow much more interesting shots and scenes in the future.

About Writing a Comic:
-Writing comics is hard. Like you, I spent years mulling over an idea, drawing character sketches and I even started panelling. Then I realized two things: 1) A good comic requires really good art. I couldn't bring that to the table and I wasn't willing to put in the time to get to that level before starting my art. My suggestion on this front would be either go ham on honing your artistic craft, or regrettably, switch mediums. 2) A good comic requires a good script. I don't know if you have a script that you are working from, but you should, and I don't mean just a basic outline for the story. You should make sure you have all of the script stuff really tied down and really good before you start drawing it.


Best of luck good sir.
Humms 
10583 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / CAN, ON
Offline
Posted 3/29/16

sundin13 wrote:


Humms wrote:


sundin13 wrote:

Hey, so what are you looking for in terms of input/criticism?


Oh.. didn't expect people to post.

What am I looking for? Just someone to look at it. Criticism, I don't care, tell me what you think. I don't care what people say about it, as long as they say something.


Okay, well...here ya go:



Don't feel the need to repost, just a big thank you, and some answers.

Thank you ill definitely check out the links when I get time. I appreciate the lengthy post, a lot of helpful direction.

Yes, I was looking into a Wacom drawing tablet since it's around my area, just using what I got right now, but I really want to get into digital. I definitely want to polish my characters, but it's tricky to juggle writing and drawing equally, but I like when you talk about consistency, and I see where it can help a lot.

As far as the hook. I was merely getting everyone comfortable with the characters, and it wasn't to hook you just yet, simply just to build your interest. There is still a lot of story to be told, like, ridiculous, but I have to do a lot of editing, and basically rewriting a lot of scenes because i'm always finding better ways to tell the story, and I always try to think about how others will follow the story as well, which can cause issues, but I feel this story is very unique, and I shall see it through to the end

10808 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / F / in my office
Offline
Posted 3/30/16
okay first thing i think that would help you is to write a background for your characters. you already have a solid understanding of each characters role in story development which is great, however, you should write yourself a reference of each character to help add depth and meaning to their roles. For example: (i don't want to affect any of your ideas therefore i will use characters of my own making for all of my examples)

Character: Jenna
height:5'5
weight 135 lbs
brown shoulder length hair, brown eyes... (be as descriptive as you like about physical features)

Major life events that have shaped Jenna
Jenna was abandoned by her parents at a young age and sent to an all girls boarding school by her grandmother. because of the trauma caused from the abandonment, Jenna was not able to make friends with the girls at her school and became the target of bullying. Resulting personality traits
Jenna is quiet and socially awkward, she lacks self confidence and doesn't like to draw any attention to herself or take any real risks.

Jenna gets framed for stealing by the girls at her school and ends up running away. When she is out on the streets a man decides to take her in
as a result of this mans kindness and of their various experiences together, Jenna's personality goes through a transformation throughout the rest of the story.
A necessary part of a great story is a writer who can empathize with their own characters. If a certain character plays a certain role, ask yourself why. what events in their life may have shaped them to become that role. knowing a characters life events will prevent you from having shallow characters. it will also make writing your story and drawing your pictures much easier if you already know the ins and outs of your characters emotional state. also if you want your characters to be unique then knowing their past is the best way to achieve that. our past is what shapes us and makes us different from everyone else. (among other things of course like super powers and such) hope this is helpful to you. i have alot more to tell you but ill save ot for another post.
10808 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / F / in my office
Offline
Posted 3/31/16

here is a guide to correctly position the eyes nose mouth and hairlines for doing character sketches. its always a good idea to create a template for drawing each character that will be easy for you to draw over and over to keep consistency throughout your story.
To add to what Sundin said about not needing backgrounds: draw a completely detailed background in the first scene each time the setting is changed in the story and then the rest of the panels you can either leave it out or do a very simple styling of it this will give the reader a clear visual of how the scenery is changing throughout the story without creating too much noise
Also study perspective drawing, vanishing point etc. in order to add some interesting POV's to your panels you will want to have a very clear understanding of how to apply various vanishing points.

The most basic explanation of vanishing point

the vanishing point is the farthest point in which you are able to see before stuff gets too far away to perceive. it demonstrates how the human eye perceives images across distance It lies on the horizon line.

this is a very basic example so i would suggest some more extensive research on it.

also i agree with sundin in the respect that you need a good script. i would write the script before story boarding. What is a good script? for each and every panel write a descriptive dialogue of what is happening, describe the visuals. then for each panel write the spoken dialogue.
EX: [

example from http://www.agentsofguard.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/shroud.jpg

But, before you begin writing your script you will need to fully map out your story, your characters, your settings and then create a story outline. although it may seem like a lot of work to do these things, they will actually save you a ton of work in the end helping you to stay consistent and have a meaningful story.
Humms 
10583 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / CAN, ON
Offline
Posted 3/31/16

DarksirenxX wrote:

okay first thing i think that would help you is to write a background for your characters. you already have a solid understanding of each characters role in story development which is great, however, you should write yourself a reference of each character to help add depth and meaning to their roles. For example: (i don't want to affect any of your ideas therefore i will use characters of my own making for all of my examples)

Character: Jenna
height:5'5
weight 135 lbs
brown shoulder length hair, brown eyes... (be as descriptive as you like about physical features)

Major life events that have shaped Jenna
Jenna was abandoned by her parents at a young age and sent to an all girls boarding school by her grandmother. because of the trauma caused from the abandonment, Jenna was not able to make friends with the girls at her school and became the target of bullying. Resulting personality traits
Jenna is quiet and socially awkward, she lacks self confidence and doesn't like to draw any attention to herself or take any real risks.

Jenna gets framed for stealing by the girls at her school and ends up running away. When she is out on the streets a man decides to take her in
as a result of this mans kindness and of their various experiences together, Jenna's personality goes through a transformation throughout the rest of the story.
A necessary part of a great story is a writer who can empathize with their own characters. If a certain character plays a certain role, ask yourself why. what events in their life may have shaped them to become that role. knowing a characters life events will prevent you from having shallow characters. it will also make writing your story and drawing your pictures much easier if you already know the ins and outs of your characters emotional state. also if you want your characters to be unique then knowing their past is the best way to achieve that. our past is what shapes us and makes us different from everyone else. (among other things of course like super powers and such) hope this is helpful to you. i have alot more to tell you but ill save ot for another post.


Yeah, i've been meaning to write up a background for my characters, I mean I have them written down, but for personal reference, but I should just have the basics down as far as body/height, hair, color, so I'll definitely add that in. I just think sometimes it might be a little too much as far as information goes. Like for most of my characters, if I were to actually go into detail about their past, or actual character, it will literally explain their entire situation instead of being left in the dark. I don't know if that's actually a good thing to do. The way I see it there actually isn't a real explanation, because most of these characters have just been brought into the world. Other characters do have a past, and I think I can actually go into detail, because then; as you said they will have a personal attachment, but other characters you will experience them as they are, as soon as you are introduced, that is their beginning, and you must work hard to actually build attachment towards those characters.

This whole story actually revolves around finding out what brought you here in the first place, and that some characters dont really have a past to connect with until they actually figure it out on their own. Though I do include a lot of other characters who actually have a background and past , other characters are meant to grow into the person they actually once were in order to endure the (suffering) that will allow them to recieve absolution, and others are meant to discover the person that is within, but ultimately being disconnected from their point of origin, so they are still the same person, but their personality is not yet refined due to this disconnect.

I will create a much detailed character description. Maybe I'll put all the characters I have, but I do like having a drawing to help others visualize the actual character, it takes a week, but now it's just a matter of laying everything out that will help others understand a little more
Humms 
10583 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / CAN, ON
Offline
Posted 3/31/16

DarksirenxX wrote:


here is a guide to correctly position the eyes nose mouth and hairlines for doing character sketches. its always a good idea to create a template for drawing each character that will be easy for you to draw over and over to keep consistency throughout your story.
To add to what Sundin said about not needing backgrounds: draw a completely detailed background in the first scene each time the setting is changed in the story and then the rest of the panels you can either leave it out or do a very simple styling of it this will give the reader a clear visual of how the scenery is changing throughout the story without creating too much noise
Also study perspective drawing, vanishing point etc. in order to add some interesting POV's to your panels you will want to have a very clear understanding of how to apply various vanishing points.

The most basic explanation of vanishing point

the vanishing point is the farthest point in which you are able to see before stuff gets too far away to perceive. it demonstrates how the human eye perceives images across distance It lies on the horizon line.

this is a very basic example so i would suggest some more extensive research on it.

also i agree with sundin in the respect that you need a good script. i would write the script before story boarding. What is a good script? for each and every panel write a descriptive dialogue of what is happening, describe the visuals. then for each panel write the spoken dialogue.
EX: [

example from http://www.agentsofguard.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/shroud.jpg

But, before you begin writing your script you will need to fully map out your story, your characters, your settings and then create a story outline. although it may seem like a lot of work to do these things, they will actually save you a ton of work in the end helping you to stay consistent and have a meaningful story.


I am a lazy artist that is why my consistency is awful. I get a blank sheet, and I draw. I should take it seriously. This will help a lot with drawing hair and proportioning the actual face, thank you so I'll start doing it from now on. It's the nose I have problems with, I can never draw it right so that it still looks animated, so I literally put dots and arcs, same with poses since I am using no reference.

I would love to draw some great backgrounds or scenic artwork since my story is pretty much outside almost all of the time.

Scripts would help. I think I need to take a couple of scenes within the story and take a shot at drawing them, and just from looking at that example, I need to add more detail into the actual story. I'm basically visualizing everything in my head and only writing scenes that I would only truly visualize instead of writing it down word for word. This is simply me getting ahead of myself and thinking too far ahead into the story that I forget to actually fully describe the scene.

I'll definitely need to buckle down and get crazy with detailed scenes as far as getting a script going.


88 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Denver
Offline
Posted 3/31/16
You could try taking some drawing classes
Humms 
10583 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / CAN, ON
Offline
Posted 4/1/16

zeroj80 wrote:

You could try taking some drawing classes


No, I don't believe in paying for something you can teach yourself, especially when you can buy equipment with that kind of money.

Don't get me wrong, art class will speed up the process and give you soo much reference, but the way I see it, I got years ahead of me. I appreciate any help I can get, but this allows me to push myself. I can search and study a lot of things on my own, or from other people's suggestions.

Sometimes you just have to believe in yourself.
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.