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Post Reply My story. Something I'd like to make a reality
Humms 
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Posted 5/10/16

sundin13 wrote:

So quick clarification.

Where does the Chapter 1 you just posted fit with all of the other things that you have posted so far? Is it a rewrite of the storyboard pages you posted? If not, is this going to be drawn into a comic or is supposed to be like a novel?


Ahh yes. So this takes place after the story board scenes I drewup. So to explain. The start of a new journey is when characters dante and Aanna find eachother, and basically get to feel eachother out, plus it was a little test of ability and new ideas. Chapter one/ A New Day is a continuation of those particular scenes, and it is how the actual main story begins.

Personally I always wanted to release this as a visual novel/ light novel then I got more focused on making it into a comic, but as of now I would like to release the early stages as chapters, probably the first 3 or 4 since personally I think my writing is good enough to put a better image in people minds, since I have characters already created and drawn to help that process become smoother, but my ultimate goal is to create a comic of some sort, hell if I can achieve a novel, comic, visual novel, animation, I mean the sky's the limit.

All I need is a little more skill and concentration, and then I can start bringing all of these things full circle, and start planning on how I will go about achieving it, how long, what I need to do etc.
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Posted 5/10/16
Well this story just took a turn into a comedic version of the Inception movie. Characters suddenly find themselve in a situation not knowing how they got there. Moving on I must say, the damn tree was unexpected and reminded me of a bossfight in Dark Souls 3 (game im currently playing).

Looks solid so far, though not much has happened yet. Looking forward to the second chapter.

Now some minor recommendations and warnings. There's the occasional grammar error here and there; many line start in lowercase; and particularly the word "sky's" is wrong in many ocassions. It should be "skies". That is all.
Humms 
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Posted 5/11/16

DViper15 wrote:

Well this story just took a turn into a comedic version of the Inception movie. Characters suddenly find themselve in a situation not knowing how they got there. Moving on I must say, the damn tree was unexpected and reminded me of a bossfight in Dark Souls 3 (game im currently playing).

Looks solid so far, though not much has happened yet. Looking forward to the second chapter.

Now some minor recommendations and warnings. There's the occasional grammar error here and there; many line start in lowercase; and particularly the word "sky's" is wrong in many ocassions. It should be "skies". That is all.


Thank you for the feed back, anything is appreciated

I'm putting in a good amount of humor in early on, because when the story starts introducing you to all the characters, and really starts to get going, things get real, and the humor slowly fades , and you only wish that you had it back >:D

Then it becomes a balancing act between keeping you hooked, still finding a place to laugh, cry, and having feelings of despair, sorrow, and determination. I Know that its not your typical GO GO make something happen already, because I want to create a build up for when things actually start to happen.

yeah, I need to go over it again, after like the 50 times or so I already did, and still mistakes XO its like my eyes don't notice it until after I've posted it.
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Okay, thanks for the clarification. Heres a few notes:

1) First of all, I'm not entirely sure if you are doing this, but there have been a few times where it has felt like you were implying that the world and the landscape was changing/being changed, which would be super neat.
2) As I mentioned before, I think that you should start the story with a greater hook. If you put most of that first chapter after something that provides a hook a little better, I think you would be in a better place. As is, I feel like the drawn pages have very little consequence. Also, if you add some sort of immediate/temporary conflict to the scene in town, it would make Aanna and Dante traveling together make more sense because currently it doesn't feel logical for Dante to be traveling with Aana.
3) Dante feels like he is playing too many roles so I'm finding it difficult to grasp who he actually is as a character. I like the character base of "Serious guy who wants an adventure", but it feels like you are making him a little too goofy at times. The comedy of Aanna and Dante works best when she is playing the goof and he is playing the straight man, so I would suggest tightening your characterization a little (I think this would make him feel more multifaceted when he does something like at the end of the chapter where he breaks that "straight man" role). Same thing with the tree. I think you could write him a little different to get across the fact that he is an old, stuffy, tree-man (like the Ents in Lord of the Rings).
4) If this is supposed to be written like a novel, I'd say eliminate the use of the word "we/us" from your intro paragraph. Otherwise, I like the idea of putting this scene here and I think its pretty good.
5) As for the dialogue, first of all write in some dialogue tags ("person said" and "person asked" should be your best friends) as some times I wasn't sure who was talking. Further, try to add more non-dialogue to these scenes. Describe a little how the characters are interacting, how the environment is changing, etc. Give us something to visualize in the scene. You could also write in more visual comedy. Aanna putting her foot on Dante's head and yelling "Only time for adventure awaits" was probably the best comedic scene you wrote. Additionally, if you eventually plan to convert this into a comic, writing in actions is key for what you are actually going to be drawing in the panels.
6) Just a small suggestion, I think you could eliminate some of the adjectives and descriptors you used. Try to think about whether they are necessary, because if not, they can just add fluff to your writing ( http://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-goal/write-first-chapter-get-started/nobles-writing-blunders-excerpt ). This isn't a hard and fast rule, just something to think about.

Overall, I really like some of the ideas that you are playing with and I'm really interested to see where this will go. I think you just need to tighten a few things up and you will be good to go
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Posted 5/11/16


I can agree on this.
Hey, I know this is off-topic but you seem like a good critic. Mind to pay a story of mind a visit? Mr. Humms too.
Posted 5/11/16
My question to you Humms where you taking this story? to movie or manga
I agree with some of what is said here, your drawings need work in my opinion you need to grow your characters
more background info so we have an idea. I read scripts for movies its my job if this is going toward a movie you need amin of 100-pgs.

Manga I'm not sure so that why I asked where your going with this? and good luck
Humms 
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Posted 5/11/16

DViper15 wrote:



I can agree on this.
Hey, I know this is off-topic but you seem like a good critic. Mind to pay a story of mind a visit? Mr. Humms too.


YES don't worry, I have been glancing over it. I just really wanted to wait for more (story wise) to be posted before I can actually give you something. Giving you something now would be very straight forward
Humms 
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Posted 5/11/16


1-2 Implying that it is changing, yes, but remember this is soo early into the story. The conflict is pretty much the raven flying overhead and a powerful force preventing the characters from moving forward. Just like at the start of the chapter, a raven circling her in repetition. If you only knew what I know you would understand soo much more, and you'll understand why nothing is happening in terms of hook.

3. Dante definitely isn't playing different roles. He is a tolerate and calm person, but he is easily annoyed by childish behavior. How he does nothing when Aanna places her foot on his head, how he gets angry when she slaps him, but falls back. He is is also determined and acts without thinking. How he climbs the hill, how he rides down the hill not realizing the repercussions, These things all matter. He is a serious character, but understand that he is not made of stone just yet. Like I said before, If you only knew what I know. He may seem goofy, but that is only because he is new to the world.

4. Yeah I wasn't sure how to approach that, I thought it would make it more fantasy like :)

5. I did that for a few parts, and Trust me I know, but I felt that I planned it out so people could understand. I just didn't want to overdue it by labeling them like that all the time, I thought it would take away from the flow of the dialogue :l I definitely have to describe things better in chapter two, and that chapter is actually perfect for doing so, so it better immerses you into the world, same with everything else.

6. Trust me I know --__-- are you kidding you should have seen it on the first draft. It's just at times I just put it in because it is a fast and simple way to give a little extra to the scene.

Thank you for all the helpful advice and your time I'm excited to finally start sharing it, now I just feel confident that this story is actually worth it.

Humms 
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Posted 5/11/16

ck1west wrote:

My question to you Humms where you taking this story? to movie or manga
I agree with some of what is said here, your drawings need work in my opinion you need to grow your characters
more background info so we have an idea. I read scripts for movies its my job if this is going toward a movie you need amin of 100-pgs.

Manga I'm not sure so that why I asked where your going with this? and good luck


Manga, Movie, any form of entertainment. This is my precious creation, and I know that one day it will be good enough to be viewed on multiple publishing methods, only what I am capable of now is what I can release in terms of viewing or experiencing.

Of course though, this is still far away, but I am now slowly on the tail end of it. The story is still young, but that is because I am just one man with a goal in my mind and a dream in my heart.

Thank you

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Posted 5/11/16 , edited 5/11/16

Humms wrote:

5. I did that for a few parts, and Trust me I know, but I felt that I planned it out so people could understand. I just didn't want to overdue it by labeling them like that all the time, I thought it would take away from the flow of the dialogue :l I definitely have to describe things better in chapter two, and that chapter is actually perfect for doing so, so it better immerses you into the world, same with everything else.



For that point, I think that adding in movement will do a lot to help the flow of your dialogue. It can get jarring to throw a "he said/she said" after every line, and you don't need it ever line (if only two people are talking, just put a "Dante said" on the first line of dialogue and the rest can be assumed) but by describing what the character is doing you can more organically convey to the reader who is speaking (see the example below). There are a few times where I found your paragraphs were broken up fairly strangely so by moving that around, you can make things flow a little more cleanly as a really easy fix (although I do think you need more descriptions overall).


For example, this:

” Your wagon!? Last time I checked you’re the one pulling the wagon”

As she lets out a small humorous laugh. The man sighs for the moment.

” I didn’t have a choice, you practically forced yourself”


Can turn into this:

"Your wagon?" she laughs. "Last I checked you're the one pulling the wagon."

The man sighs. "I didn't have a choice. You practically forced yourself."


My revision isn't perfect ("she laughs" is not an ideal dialogue tag), but I think it would make your writing flow a little bit better. For dialogue sequences, for the most part you should break paragraph when the perspective changes between characters. Also remember, size of paragraphs does have some influence on how the scene is paced, so if you want to slow something down make longer paragraphs and put descriptions into paragraphs.

I'm looking forward to Chapter 2 ^.^
Humms 
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Posted 5/11/16

Interesting, that actually makes sense, and it still definitely would keep the flow. I guess I need to look at different perspectives, but that will help to form and structure everything properly for certain parts, I'll keep that in mind.
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Posted 5/15/16 , edited 7/5/16
Chapter 2: Breaking through and onward
There might be some areas that could be changed, but I feel like it turned out good.


Our travelers begin to make their way to the other side of the wall, once through the scenery does not change all that much. Still grass swaying with the wind, skies still blue, and a small breeze that slowly blows Dantes hair to the side as he pulls the wagon along. Suddenly the sound of a tree uprooting can be heard. Aanna and Dante slowly turn to the direction of the once exposed hole. The tree begins to become one with the wall as it slowly begins to shoot roots across the wall, almost merging with it.

”Well, no turning back now” Dante responds

” That’s odd, if that’s all it wanted to do in the first place you think it would have already done it even before we came across it ”

”Maybe it never had a chance to make that choice. Maybe somehow you gave it that option by trying to climb it. It seemed pretty understanding when I told it to do something for us ” Dante replies as he continues to pull the wagon.

“ I never thought about it like that, do you think that’s the only reason why we’re here now?”

.” I’d like to say yes, but right now I’m just trying to understand this whole mess”

Aanna slowly goes into thought for a moment, but soon shrugs off her concern and begins to draw her attention to the woman.

“So I have to ask, what’s with the ears?” As she begins to pull on them

”They seem real”

The woman grunts in anger.

”Get your hands off me!” As she swats Aannas hand away.

” Well glad to see you have some energy” Followed by a small giggle

”You’re definitely different from us, but I guess I can’t say too much about it. You are the only other person we’ve met so far. So do you have a name?

After a small pause.

”Name? I don’t know”

”That’s great, we didn’t know either, you’re just like us!”

” No, I’m not like you”

”Just because you have ears like a wolf that doesn’t mean you aren’t human”

The woman begins to voice concern.

”How do you know about wolves?”

”Well they’re animals of course; that’s why I said it, from the looks of it you just have some features is all”

Aanna begins to smile. The woman looks at her hands with a concerned look.

”I was a wolf” A small flash back runs through her head, all it consisted of was a bright flash that makes the woman grab her head in distraught

“Hey don’t worry, I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal, In fact, we’re all in this together. We’re just as lost as you are so cheer up”

The woman tries to understand what Aanna really meant by that, but she soon calms herself down.

As our travelers journey on they are left with the ground vibrating and rumbling in front of Dante. Dante stops and has a puzzled look on his face. The ground suddenly breaks open flinging dirt up from the ground. As the dirt begins to settle Dante puts his arm down from his face. Suddenly a small mole pops from out of the earth, exposing his tiny body.

”Greetings! My name is Shtickles, I…” Shtickles is cut off by the shriek of joy from Aanna.

”Look at his little nose”

Aanna jumps down off of the wagon to get a better look at Shtickles.

”Ahem, as I was saying. I am the great path maker Shtickles, and I noticed abnormal vibrations coming from this direction, so my suspicions weren’t wrong “

”You.. are , adorable!”

Aanna picks up Shtickles as he begins to become angry.

”Put me down you bipedal lunatic!”

”Should we take him with us?”

”Just.. put the man down” Dante Replies

”Oh I see we have some sense in the group”

”Fine” Aanna slowly puts Shtickles back on the ground, but gets to her knees and continues to observe him

”Keep her on a leash good sir”

”Noted, now what’s the deal with you? You said something about making paths”

”Precisely, I make new paths for any weiry travelers I come across. I take orders from our lord, Razza”

”So you can help us find civilization; that’s what you’re saying?”

”Well yes, but my friend, our lord isn’t so keen on newcomers, be fair warned”

”Well you’re not busy, when can you be ready?”

”You are the first in a while, so I am at your service”

” We’re following him? But how can he even make a path, he’s so tiny”

She gets down lower to get a better look at Shtickles.

”My dear size does not matter, it is how you can manipulate the ground in your favor. Now, I will leave you check points for rest. You humans do need it I’m sure, and I don’t expect you to keep up”

Shtickles zooms forward creating a small path behind him. Dante and the rest soon see Shtickles out of sight.

”Well… This is insane, what are we going to see next? Talking trees, right”

Dante grabs his head in confusion.

”Well I don’t know about you, but that was awesome!” As she begins to laugh
.
” what do you think?”

She turns towards the woman, but she just gives Aanna a blank stare as she replies to her.

” I’m hungry “

”Oh, well we saved some of these if you’d like” As Aanna picks up the fruit they gathered from before.

”What is that?

”We don’t really know, but they’re delicious.”

”It might be a new experience for you, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it” Dante responds

”I’ve never seen anything like this before”

She takes the fruit from Aanna.

” I guess you can say it was a new experience for us as well, but they’re really juicy”

She looks at Aanna for a moment, and then slowly begins to sink her teeth into the fruit. She opens her eyes wide and begins to drool slightly as she begins to devour the fruit rapidly. Aanna looks in awe. Dante hears the rapid chomping and stops to look back. She gets to the stem of the fruit and looks out at Dante, followed by blushed cheeks.

” S.. Sorry, I didn’t know how delicious an apple was” as she puts her hands between her legs.

” Apple… That actually works. I never would have thought of that” Aanna replies

Dante smiles.

”Well eat up, we still have some left, but They won’t stay good for long. I’m already sick of them anyways”

Aanna hands her more apples.

” When you’re done eating we can Start thinking of a name for you”

The woman hesitates to take another bite.

”We wolves never had a name, if that’s what you mean”

”Well I guess not, but from now on we can be friends”

She looks down at the apple, waits momentarily, and takes another bite.

We see our travelers over head following a dirt path left by Shtickles.

”So what’s it really like?!” Aanna responds to the woman as she turns towards her and leans in.

” What do you mean?”

”Being a wolf! I mean it must be interesting don’t you think?”

”I wouldn’t say it like that, being a wolf is just my way of life, nothing interesting really”

” Ugghh you’re such a downer! Dante I’ve ran out of things to say. ( She lets out a small cry)”

” you asked her one question, and besides, how can a person like you have nothing else to say”

” Well that was really the only thing I could say I guess. I don’t really know anything about wolves” as She begins to look at The woman, almost studying her appearance.

” It would be like asking you what it’s like to be human, what is there to say?

” Oh, I’m so glad you asked!”

Aanna begins to ramble about being human even though she has only just been human for a day or so.

” You really are... friendly” As her response breaks Aanna from her rant

” Huh? Well that’s just who I am, so you better get use to it”

She leans in for a hug. The woman begins to blush slightly not expecting Aanna to do so, but takes the affection. Shortly after she breaks away from her.

”How long before we reach this checkpoint?” The woman responds

” I don’t know, but I’m sure you can handle her for a bit longer”

Dante smiles as he looks back at the woman. She looks at Aanna and puts on the faintest smile.

A rumble from the mound of dirt is heard. Shtickles suddenly emerges from the earth and jumps on Dantes head. Dante lets out a small shriek as Aanna begins to laugh.

”Slower than I had expected”

”Hey! Whats that suppose to mean?” as Dante begins to look up.

” For your sake, you’d better be faster before night falls. Once past the wall things tend to come to life around these parts”

”Well if you can top a talking, walking tree please let me know”

” Trees!?”

Shtickles laughs uncontrollably.

” I think he’s mocking you” Aanna replies

Dante grabs a hold of Shtickles with one hand. ( A small squeak sound effect for humor)

” something funny pip squeak?”

As Dante holds him up to his face.

” Heh heh, not to insult you. Ahem, I was only trying to warn you”

Dante puts Shtickles back up on his head.

”Well I’m all ears. I’ve seen enough weirdness in this place”

”Very well. I shall speak of the beasts that roam this land”

” Beasts?” Aanna replies

” It is said that once darkness falls upon the land, new life emerges from the land itself, taking on many forms”

” So the tree we saw?

”Pure coincidence. Just the thought of something used as a resource taking life means all is not well”

” What are you going on about?” Dante continues

”I’m saying this land is cursed with great power, and we’ve been trying to suppress it, but as of late things have gotten out of hand”

” how so?”

”Well, those abnormal vibrations I felt were directly pin pointed to the wall. Since I ran into you three instead of investigating the wall further, I have strayed from my duty in order to bring you three to safety, which is much more important”

”So what happens when the wall is destroyed?”

” I have to repair it! Why, do you know what happened?

Aanna and Dante begin to chuckle as Dante rubs the back of his head.

”Don’t tell me you are responsible!”

” Like I said. If you can top a walking talking tree, I’d like to know”

Shtickles lets out a sigh and lays down on Dantes head.

” It’s best not to know for now”

” I’m sure you can explain it to him, and you can get someone else to repair it. Why would anyone let a poor little mole repair a giant wall?” Aanna replies

” I’m the only one capable to do so, if I don’t It means the potential lives of others, and I can’t be the one to make that decision; so I must. I have no choice”

” When I see you lord he’s going to be sorry about this!”

” Ehh heh heh. That’s not necessary”

” How can someone like you repair such a wall?” The woman replies

” That will have to wait my dear. I’m afraid I’ve said too much already, for now let’s just focus on getting to your checkpoint. We’re not far from it, and from there we should set up camp. Hopefully you’re all capable of making a fire”

” Its in our blood, we should have no issues”

A flash back hits Dante as he creates an image of the woman holding her face covered in blood, almost replaying it in his mind. Dante grabs his head and Squints his eyes for a quick second

”Excellent. If time is good to us, I can continue my story “

” s.. sounds like a plan” Struggling for a second to convey his response.

We see our travelers reach a fairly large area. Trees surround a decent size opening within the forest where camp can be made. No such sounds of wildlife can be heard, almost a secluded oasis.

” Well here we are. I hope you don’t mind sleeping on the ground”

Dante pulls the wagon further in, and finds a place to set it down

” No need to worry”

Dante drops the wagon and brushes off some sweat from his forehead. Aannas stomach begins to growl.

” Heh heh. What do you think we can do about food?”

” Hmm. Well there is a river not far from this location. It is surprisingly abundant with fish. This spot is actually very secluded, and only to my knowledge.”

” That sounds great, but what will we catch them with?”

” We can worry about that later, we still have some sunlight left, lets gather some fire wood” Dante replies

” Right! First things first, you can count on me!”

Aanna begins to run off into the forest. The woman walks up behind Dante and slowly taps his shoulder.

” Um.. I’m not sure what gathering fire wood means”

Dante turns to her and smiles.

” No worries, you can come with me.”

” Keep in mind you only have a limited amount of time, be back as soon as possible” Shtickles voices

Dante and the Woman venture into the forest. The sound of fallen branches being crunched over by the odd step, and random leaves that fall towards the ground making a small noise as they begin their search. After a bit of searching they come across A dead looking tree that can be seen up ahead of them.

” Perfect”

Dante approaches the dead tree as he begins to break it into fairly sizable pieces. We see a bit of Dantes power as he effortlessly does this by hand.

” To be honest it doesn’t take much to start a fire. If something’s not alive you can be sure it will burn easy, since it has been here for some time, it is almost dried out”

” I see, but how do you make fire?”

” Nothing but a little movement and something to catch the fire, usually a very loose materiel is best. See this ” He holds up a dead leaf to the womans face as she begins to look at it with interest.

“ Gather some of these

She begins to pick some up from the ground, swaying her tail back and forward every so often in search for more leaves.

In the distance a dragging sound can be heard slowly getting louder as it approaches Dante and the woman. Soon after Aanna can be heard grunting in the background. We see her dragging a giant piece of wood towards the camp. Dante looks at Aanna and tries to hold back his laughter, but soon begins to burst out laughing .

” That girl is something else” as he breaks his laughter

” Oh, hey you guys, pretty good don’t you think? It sure beats your little sticks” As she begins to laugh in short bursts while she continues to pull the wood back to camp.

” One things for sure, no matter how annoying she can be, it’s never a dull moment with her around ”

” what does that mean?”

”It might be hard for me to explain to someone like you”.

The woman can be seen with a handful of leaves as she begins to stare at Dante. He grabs a handful of leaves and places them in the womans hands as she grabs them from him.

“Let’s just say when you learn how to laugh you’ll understand. I can’t explain something you haven’t experienced yet”

” I’m sure there is much to learn about being human”

Dante begins to smile. He picks up a large pile of wood with him.

” Well now’s the only time to get a head start on it, from walking trees to talking moles; who knows what’s around the corner” as he begins to walk back to camp.

We see Aanna drop the giant log down onto the ground in front of Shtickles.

”Now that’s what I call fire wood!”

”I hope you are sincerely joking”

”Hey I worked really hard to get this here”

”Yes, but how do we go about lighting it on fire my dear?”

”Well, uh….. Hmm”

Aanna drops to her knees and begins to cry. Shtickles waddles up to the log and rapidly starts to cut it into sizable pieces to maintain a fire. Aanna wipes away a single tear and stops crying to look at what Shtickles is doing, too blurry to see, but when he finishes the log has now been sized down to pieces. Aanna runs over to him and starts to hug him as she laughs in happiness.

” Oh, that’s not necessary” Shtickles begins to struggle a bit.

Dante soon walks in and drops the wood down onto the ground, and slowly begins to build up a fire. The woman tries to keep the leaves bunched up as she places them next to the wood.

” How about you guys go to the river and see what you can do about those fish”

”Ok, come on!” Aanna grabs the Woman by the hand and runs with her, after a short sprint she stops in her tracks.

”Where is the river?”

”Follow me my dear” Shtickle begins to take them in the right direction.

They all walk down to the river as they emerge from some trees and bushes. The sun begins to fill the scene as it reflects off of the running river that can be seen stretching onward.

” It’s soo beautiful”

Aanna leans over the water to search for some fish, a small echo of a woman’s voice can be heard coming from the river, the only words made out were ( Follow ) Aanna looks up as if to see someone. The woman walks towards Aanna as Shtickles scurry’s up towards them
.
”We usually have nets for this type of job. The river only runs one way, so fish swim frequently through here. If you’re lucky you can catch them straight from the river yourself”

” That sounds tricky” Aanna replies as the woman begins to walk into the river.

She readys herself. Aanna and Shtickles watch for a moment. She scouts the water momentarily, Shtickles waddles up on to Aannas head as they both stare on. She strikes the water very quickly as she grabs a hold of a fish.

”Wow! How did you do that?”

” Instinct”

”Can you do that again? We can count on you for the fish, and we can gather them”

The woman tosses the fish at Aanna for her to catch. Aanna struggles slightly trying to keep it held down.

” Gottcha!”

The fish then smacks Aanna across the face with its tail, she falls back with a shriek. The woman begins to smile, trying to find a way to laugh.

” Get a hold of yourself girl, it’s just one fish”

We fade in to Dante. A fire has been made, and slowly coals start to form. Aanna carries back a Large pile of fish.

” Ahh, nice fire”

Shtickles scoots closer towards the fire. Aanna drops the fish down by the fire, Dante just looks at Aanna.

” Please don’t tell me you caught all of these”

”Nope, She caught them all, it was like she could catch fish all day”

”Well start putting them on these sticks, we need to cook them”

”Cook them?” The woman replies

”Well we can’t eat something like this raw”

” That is normal is it not?”

” I’m not sure if it is safe to eat them raw, I guess this is where humans need to be careful”

” I see”

After the fish have been cooked we see everyone start to eat. Time has passed and night soon comes. Everyone sits next to the fire in comfort.

” So, let’s hear more about the night Shtickles”

” As you wish”
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Posted 5/29/16
Out of curiosity, why did you decide to not give your characters a realistic skeleton (primarily in the torso)?
Humms 
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Posted 5/29/16

sundin13 wrote:

Out of curiosity, why did you decide to not give your characters a realistic skeleton (primarily in the torso)?


Cause I suck at drawing there's really no way of sugar costing it. I just sit there and keep drawing until I think the final product is worthy for others to view
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Posted 5/29/16

Humms wrote:


sundin13 wrote:

Out of curiosity, why did you decide to not give your characters a realistic skeleton (primarily in the torso)?


Cause I suck at drawing there's really no way of sugar costing it. I just sit there and keep drawing until I think the final product is worthy for others to view


Haha, okay, I wasn't sure if it was a stylistic choice. Don't forget that you are drawing bones under all that flesh. Think about how a rib cage would play into your torso shapes. It tends to be fairly straight down about halfway, and then dip in a little if the person is skinny.

I'm not exactly an amazing artist, but heres a circle man with scrawny legs in the same position (or similar) as your new dude.

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