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Post Reply Explain this to me
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/4/16
Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.


I have a friend who asked me a question and I wasn't sure how to answer it. I thought it was a good enough question too. So I'm asking you guys because I can get it off my mind.

If people are allowed to say how they feel, then why is insulting looked down upon? Are you allowed to care about someone else's feeling when you express your opinion? Are you inhumane if you don't consider someone's feeling first?
Why is that?





Posted 4/4/16 , edited 4/4/16
One of the reasons why I absolutely love my friend is that she gives me everything to me straightforward with no sugar added. Nobody else does that because they want to consider my feelings but I think that's BS, fuck my feelings. You should be honest and blunt, that's a real person and a great friend.


Now....she does tell me that it pisses people off when you're this way so depending on who she's with she'll sugar coat a little bit.
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Posted 4/4/16
I personally tend to keep my opinions to myself, if they are explicitly insulting. It has saved me a lot of trouble in situations where I misunderstood someone, was offended, and almost blew up in their faces,but restrained myself, later to find out they meant something totally different than what I thought.
However, there are situations where it's really best to speak your mind, even if it's unpleasant. When that happens, you should still consider their feelings, and try not to be a total ass, but you have to draw the line if you're starting to beat around the bush in order to avoid stepping on toes- it's not worth it, at that point.

At least, that's my personal take on it.
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Posted 4/4/16
Personally I don't care if I insult someone, especially if it's the truth. I'm honest to the point people have stopped asking me for my opinion because it's not what they want to hear.
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Posted 4/4/16
That is because of cultural drift.

Being insulting creates a level of antagonism, which current crops of people have difficulty dealing with, even as it becomes popular to be so. In the past, social constructs of decorum, discipline, and perhaps honor acted to mitigate and channel insults into more useful pursuits, such as excessively polite missives posted in public areas and many, many books. Much of literature can be seen to be a complicated way of insulting someone that you dislike in a way that they cannot openly take offense to.

You are not inhumane if you don't consider someone's feelings first. You're not even inhuman. There are often times where you cannot and should not take into consideration hurting someone at an emotional level, such as danger situations or where immediate choices must be made.

Also, why wouldn't you be allowed to consider other people's feelings when you express opinions? I am not entirely sure you can properly insult someone if you don't consider how your opinions, feelings, statements, or desires affect other people.
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Posted 4/4/16

foraslan wrote:

I personally tend to keep my opinions to myself, if they are explicitly insulting. It has saved me a lot of trouble in situations where I misunderstood someone, was offended, and almost blew up in their faces,but restrained myself, later to find out they meant something totally different than what I thought.
However, there are situations where it's really best to speak your mind, even if it's unpleasant. When that happens, you should still consider their feelings, and try not to be a total ass, but you have to draw the line if you're starting to beat around the bush in order to avoid stepping on toes- it's not worth it, at that point.

At least, that's my personal take on it.


I get the feeling that some people need to deal with an asshole in order to help their self esteem.
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Posted 4/4/16
An insult is given with explicit intent to harm someone, so it's a bit different than just stating opinion. However, some opinions can be extremely offensive to some people (for example, thinking that all people in a certain line of work are dumb or that a certain culture is stupid) so it's good to be cognizant of what's ok and not ok to say, as these are essentially as bad as insults to said people. You shouldn't stifle your own opinions, just be aware of time and place when you give them.
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Posted 4/4/16

FruitPunchSamurai987 wrote:

An insult is given with explicit intent to harm someone, so it's a bit different than just stating opinion. However, some opinions can be extremely offensive to some people (for example, thinking that all people in a certain line of work are dumb or that a certain culture is stupid) so it's good to be cognizant of what's ok and not ok to say, as these are essentially as bad as insults to said people. You shouldn't stifle your own opinions, just be aware of time and place when you give them.


So an insult isn't a statement?
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Posted 4/4/16
Simple answer, you can in fact say what you want to anyone you want...but always expect a punch in the mouth when you say the wrong thing to the wrong person the wrong way. I'm sure if you walked up to a Mafia Don and called him a thug you wouldn't be saying much to anyone ever again. It's a simple case of knowing right from wrong and what is acceptable in society under certain situations. It's why what we live in is called "civilization". The root word is "civil". Ask your friend if they've ever looked up the word .
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Posted 4/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:

Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.


I have a friend who asked me a question and I wasn't sure how to answer it. I thought it was a good enough question too. So I'm asking you guys because I can get it off my mind.

If people are allowed to say how they feel, then why is insulting looked down upon? Are you allowed to care about someone else's feeling when you express your opinion? Are you inhumane if you don't consider someone's feeling first?
Why is that?







Depends on how you insult them. If you are simply telling the truth with no real harsh intentions, it just happens to be harsh then i think that is fine. But if your are insulting someone and you are the one out of line then i think it is a problem.

I think more people should tell the truth to be honest. I don't know if you've ever watched "my teen romantic comedy" but that show makes a lot of good points when it comes to kindness and how others can perceive what you say.

I really like the quote "People lie to be kind so therefore kindness is a lie" i myself don't lie.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/4/16

hemicuda2 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.


I have a friend who asked me a question and I wasn't sure how to answer it. I thought it was a good enough question too. So I'm asking you guys because I can get it off my mind.

If people are allowed to say how they feel, then why is insulting looked down upon? Are you allowed to care about someone else's feeling when you express your opinion? Are you inhumane if you don't consider someone's feeling first?
Why is that?







Depends on how you insult them. If you are simply telling the truth with no real harsh intentions, it just happens to be harsh then i think that is fine. But if your are insulting someone and you are the one out of line then i think it is a problem.

I think more people should tell the truth to be honest. I don't know if you've ever watched "my teen romantic comedy" but that show makes a lot of good points when it comes to kindness and how others can perceive what you say.

I really like the quote "People lie to be kind so therefore kindness is a lie" i myself don't lie.


The type of insults that people make when they want to hurt someone's feelings.
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Posted 4/4/16
hmmmm mind blown here. I guess being nice is lying to their face sometimes to stay on a persons good side. You can still say how you feel but don't expect them to be happy towards you about it. I guess....idk.......
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Posted 4/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


hemicuda2 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.


I have a friend who asked me a question and I wasn't sure how to answer it. I thought it was a good enough question too. So I'm asking you guys because I can get it off my mind.

If people are allowed to say how they feel, then why is insulting looked down upon? Are you allowed to care about someone else's feeling when you express your opinion? Are you inhumane if you don't consider someone's feeling first?
Why is that?







Depends on how you insult them. If you are simply telling the truth with no real harsh intentions, it just happens to be harsh then i think that is fine. But if your are insulting someone and you are the one out of line then i think it is a problem.

I think more people should tell the truth to be honest. I don't know if you've ever watched "my teen romantic comedy" but that show makes a lot of good points when it comes to kindness and how others can perceive what you say.

I really like the quote "People lie to be kind so therefore kindness is a lie" i myself don't lie.


The type of insults that people make when they want to hurt someone's feelings.


Well then whats the point in that? I mean unless your some kind of sadist.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/4/16


Kind of fucked up isn't it. But that is what my friend means by using insult.
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Posted 4/4/16 , edited 4/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


foraslan wrote:

I personally tend to keep my opinions to myself, if they are explicitly insulting. It has saved me a lot of trouble in situations where I misunderstood someone, was offended, and almost blew up in their faces,but restrained myself, later to find out they meant something totally different than what I thought.
However, there are situations where it's really best to speak your mind, even if it's unpleasant. When that happens, you should still consider their feelings, and try not to be a total ass, but you have to draw the line if you're starting to beat around the bush in order to avoid stepping on toes- it's not worth it, at that point.

At least, that's my personal take on it.


I get the feeling that some people need to deal with an asshole in order to help their self esteem.


Touche.


qualeshia3 wrote:
The type of insults that people make when they want to hurt someone's feelings.


Nope, definitely not something I would do. Why would I want to do that to someone? People get hurt (or hurt each other) enough by accident. They don't need others actively trying to hurt them.

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