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Post Reply Explain this to me
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/4/16


I always thought of verbal bullying as a person stating their unpopular opinion. Some people need to grow skin thicker than steel if they want to survive in this harsh world and I am one of those people.
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Posted 4/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:



I always thought of verbal bullying as a person stating their unpopular opinion. Some people need to grow skin thicker than steel if they want to survive in this harsh world and I am one of those people.


I consider verbal bullying to be one of two things:
1. some sadistic ass, which I definitely wouldn't want to be, or
2. someone who has no idea how to handle conflict.
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Posted 4/4/16



I rather be neither of those things but I don't want to be some wimp either.
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Posted 4/4/16 , edited 4/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:




I rather be neither of those things but I don't want to be some wimp either.


Yeah, I'm not great at putting my thoughts in order, really. My original post is about as close as I can come to putting my point across, but I want to emphasize the last bit about not going out of your way to avoid stepping on toes.
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Posted 4/4/16
I don't think it is right to insult anyone, rather, I think it is better to give constructive feedback to someone so you can let them know why you are angry or upset at them.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/4/16


Okay then.
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Posted 4/4/16

Khaltazar wrote:

I don't think it is right to insult anyone, rather, I think it is better to give constructive feedback to someone so you can let them know why you are angry or upset at them.


So Ryan can't call Becky fat when Ryan can't help but feel that Becky overweight?
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Posted 4/4/16 , edited 4/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:
If people are allowed to say how they feel, then why is insulting looked down upon? Are you allowed to care about someone else's feeling when you express your opinion? Are you inhumane if you don't consider someone's feeling first?
Why is that?


If you can't say something nice, you're not compelled to say anything at all.
People tend to leap to judgments about how badly you wanted to.

Or as our friends Gilbert & Sullivan put it--Hit it, boys:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gT_sfwlSxE8
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Posted 4/4/16
Haha, I'll give someone else a chance to post after this, but my government teacher's policy came to mind, and it provides a decent paraphrase of my own views, at least as they relate to ideological discussions. She calls it the "coffee rule", and it basically says that you can argue as passionately as you want, and you can disagree with anyone in the class, including her, but when you start throwing out personal attacks, as opposed to arguments against the ideas an individual holds, you've gone too far. It's counterproductive at that point, and has the potential to ruin any future classes you end up in with certain people.
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Posted 4/4/16
people being allowed to say how they feel? do clarify
is this some kind of free speech or social moor thing?
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Posted 4/4/16 , edited 4/4/16
This is what I think about insults: if you're going to insult someone, then you better be prepared by the consequences and don't start whining like an hypocritical crybaby as soon as they either insult you back or call you on it. Also, If you're discussing something and can't get your point across without resorting to name calling, I'm going to start questioning both your argumentative skills and your arguments' strength.

It's natural that people are not pleased when they are treated like that. After all usually insults are meant to hurt and attack someone. Some people argue that the best answer to an insult it's to ignore it. They usually justify this by saying that an insult should not be a big deal or that when you get mad you are acting exactly as the other person expect. Though, I think this is an useless advice because if you don't stand up for yourself this behaviour is likely to continue and even get worse over time.

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27 / M / Louisville, KY
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Posted 4/4/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


Khaltazar wrote:

I don't think it is right to insult anyone, rather, I think it is better to give constructive feedback to someone so you can let them know why you are angry or upset at them.


So Ryan can't call Becky fat when Ryan can't help but feel that Becky overweight?


Ryan can do what ever he wants, the point I am trying to make is why insult someone or point out something to them they themselves already know just to insult them? It's better to just say nothing.
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Posted 4/4/16
Insulting someone is not saying how you feel, saying how you feel would be ''You have made me very mad/upset with what you have done/said/ect'' not ''You fat bitch!''
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Posted 4/4/16

qualeshia3

I rather be neither of those things but I don't want to be some wimp either.


You know, there is a wide compromise in the middle between being a complete jerk, and being a wimp.
There are some people out there that can't find a middle ground, and for some reason are stuck in the extreme ends, but most mentally healthy people are able to find the middle ground just fine, and can manage to not be a wimp, at the same time being pleasant human beings.

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Posted 4/4/16 , edited 4/4/16
I think there's a difference between being allowed to do something and that something being the 'right' thing to do. I guess I just don't understand the question.
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