First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  Next  Last
Post Reply Are nice guys love shy?
12132 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / Bixby, OK, USA
Offline
Posted 4/8/16 , edited 4/8/16

ratboii wrote:

There is no such thing as a "friendzone"
If someone you like isn't sexually attracted to you, it's not really their fault. It's not something they or you can control, so don't stick around hoping for something that's not meant to be..


I have to disagree completely with that first statement. `I've had several times when I go to ask a girl out and they say "I don't have any issues with going out with you, except that I feel it might ruin our friendship, and I don't want that" THAT is what being "friendzoned" is. It's not a matter of that person isn't necessarily attracted to you, it's a matter of that person feels you are too good of friends that they don't want to risk destroying their friendship with you, because you started dating each other, and it didn't go well
42489 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / F / New Jersey, USA
Offline
Posted 4/8/16

Steelmonk wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


Ejanss wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:
Is a nice guy shy when it comes to love? What is it about nice guys that always make girls run away? Why are nice guys placed in the friendzone? Are you a nice guy and has it been hard for you to find love?


Nice guys know that they don't have a chance among girls who self-indulge their "woo-hoo!" post-teen dreams of getting the "bad boy" for a few thrills, until they find out....well, they find out. Hopefully not the hard way.

So we mostly just sit around, and wait to pick up the pieces afterwards. At least that way, they've been "broken in", and gotten all their unrealistic expectations of the world out of their system.


How sad.


Isn't it Qualeshia? Giving up because of their perceived views of the world. There are good men and women out there who are looking for each other. Bad boy/girl? don't worry about them they turn into mothers and fathers eventually. It all evens out on the cosmic balance.

yes his statement was sad.


Exactly.
Posted 4/8/16
I am married to a nice guy what about this? I see no problem here
15947 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / Cold and High
Offline
Posted 4/8/16

ck1west wrote:
I am married to a nice guy what about this? I see no problem here
Making the laugh from that dog.
But damn I miss that show!

Posted 4/8/16

Freddy96NO wrote:


ck1west wrote:
I am married to a nice guy what about this? I see no problem here
Making the laugh from that dog.
But damn I miss that show!



= Yes I grew up watching Hanna Barrbara I always like the villians for some reason
7910 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
8500 / F / Apollo...
Offline
Posted 4/8/16 , edited 4/8/16
I don't think nice guys are love shy, they're just not aggressive enough to get what they want. And usually guys who are like that end up being walking doormats and let the one they like walk all over them.

These "nice guys" need to just confess and get it over with so they don't waste time. They become "nice guys" because they fall for girls that are either dense, weak to aggressive guys, or passive-aggressive themselves...they know how to tug you along their little game of "worship me"
15947 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / Cold and High
Offline
Posted 4/8/16

1stladyent wrote:
These "nice guys" need to just confess and get it over with so they don't waste time.
hmm no they don't atleast sometimes they really shouldn't.

14468 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M / Houma
Offline
Posted 4/8/16
I'm going to argue that there is indeed a friend-zone but it isn't as common as many would like to believe. There are times where I may be attracted but I take issue with personality traits that I perceive. I won't remove them completely from consideration and I will wait and see if my perception or they themselves change.

On the shyness end... I suppose that itself is a result of a bit of shyness. I'm unwilling to just jump into any level of relationship without having vectors of attack (in conversation). Knowing someone enough allows target areas for humor and teasing without hitting upon any sore spots that would make them uncomfortable. Because of this I seem like a very dull and uninteresting person... but that's just my public persona.

Inherently that "nice-guy" attitude pretty much limits what I do and say in order to avoid stepping on the minefield that is people's feelings. I really do wish I weren't so "nice" and could express myself freely.
11742 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M
Offline
Posted 4/8/16
im not so sure the nice-ness factor matters as long as you're confident and dont come off as needy
nice+confidence>jerk+confidence
14783 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 4/8/16 , edited 4/8/16

Steelmonk wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


Ejanss wrote:
Nice guys know that they don't have a chance among girls who self-indulge their "woo-hoo!" post-teen dreams of getting the "bad boy" for a few thrills, until they find out....well, they find out. Hopefully not the hard way.
So we mostly just sit around, and wait to pick up the pieces afterwards. At least that way, they've been "broken in", and gotten all their unrealistic expectations of the world out of their system.


How sad.


Isn't it Qualeshia? Giving up because of their perceived views of the world. There are good men and women out there who are looking for each other. Bad boy/girl? don't worry about them they turn into mothers and fathers eventually. It all evens out on the cosmic balance.

yes his statement was sad.


Thing is, how long do you want to wait for "Eventually"? And what do you want to go through to get there?
Depending on how "bad", some never do, because they're trying to outrun the age when they should be turning into mothers and fathers, or just haven't bothered to look to see it creeping up on them.
The "Thrill" that girls want in their dream guy (and we mean "dream" in the https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zwef7-CuZlg sense) is the hip cool image of not seeming to care about the world, respect the rules of social interaction or society, or even about other people, and pursue their own personal urges from moment to moment.
Guess what little flaw happens when a longterm or even serious medium-shortterm relationship means you have to make them care, even when it might cramp on their own personal style to do so. Oops.

If "nice guys" don't hit the hot club spots every Saturday night, maybe that's because we're thinking about what we'll have to be doing on Monday morning.
We're the ones who already know there's ALWAYS a Monday morning, but that even those can not be so bad over a waffle breakfast for two.
Posted 4/8/16
everyone is love shy
19921 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M / A town called "Ci...
Offline
Posted 4/8/16
19921 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M / A town called "Ci...
Offline
Posted 4/8/16
In all seriousness...

It really depends.
7420 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 4/8/16 , edited 4/8/16

gornotck wrote:

What is a 'nice guy'?


When an attractive girl comes begging for a couple thousand dollars and offers you anything you want.

And all you ask for is a home cooked meal.



I can't count the number of girls I fell in love with only to be permanently friendzoned. They would all tell me, "You're a nice guy, one day you'll meet the right girl." They were right in the end, it just took a while.


RedExodus wrote:

im not so sure the nice-ness factor matters as long as you're confident and dont come off as needy
nice+confidence>jerk+confidence

I am needy and was not at all confident.

I married a girl who was even worse


28602 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
51 / M / Inside the Anime...
Offline
Posted 4/8/16 , edited 4/8/16

Ejanss wrote:


Steelmonk wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


Ejanss wrote:
Nice guys know that they don't have a chance among girls who self-indulge their "woo-hoo!" post-teen dreams of getting the "bad boy" for a few thrills, until they find out....well, they find out. Hopefully not the hard way.
So we mostly just sit around, and wait to pick up the pieces afterwards. At least that way, they've been "broken in", and gotten all their unrealistic expectations of the world out of their system.


How sad.


Isn't it Qualeshia? Giving up because of their perceived views of the world. There are good men and women out there who are looking for each other. Bad boy/girl? don't worry about them they turn into mothers and fathers eventually. It all evens out on the cosmic balance.

yes his statement was sad.


Thing is, how long do you want to wait for "Eventually"? And what do you want to go through to get there?
Depending on how "bad", some never do, because they're trying to outrun the age when they should be turning into mothers and fathers, or just haven't bothered to look to see it creeping up on them.
The "Thrill" that girls want in their dream guy (and we mean "dream" in the https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zwef7-CuZlg sense) is the hip cool image of not seeming to care about the world, respect the rules of social interaction or society, or even about other people, and pursue their own personal urges from moment to moment.
Guess what little flaw happens when a longterm or even serious medium-shortterm relationship means you have to make them care, even when it might cramp on their own personal style to do so. Oops.

If "nice guys" don't hit the hot club spots every Saturday night, maybe that's because we're thinking about what we'll have to be doing on Monday morning.
We're the ones who already know there's ALWAYS a Monday morning, but that even those can not be so bad over a waffle breakfast for two.


Wait? waiting is a lost game. Let me break it down young man. This is a social/ statistical exercise. Play the numbers and you will win.

First: run the full spectrum of activities to get out there (bars and clubs are not the places to find serious minded people)
1) take dance lessons
2) take art classes
3) get into the outdoors
4) join a book club
Second: what you do for yourself will bring people to you
1) Lose weight
2) Dress well
3) Join toast masters to meet people and learn how to speak publicly
4) Take academic classes
Third: self confidence and awareness of others around you will help you communicate
1) if you are religious go to church, if not study a philosophy
2) Travel to a foreign country
3) Take martial arts
4) Learn to cook well, not macaroni and cheese
Fourth: all of the above hinges on your ability to drive yourself to work hard enough to gain the necessary monetary capital and physical strength


First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.