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Post Reply are we in the day and age women have to make the first move?
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Posted 4/12/16 , edited 4/12/16

Daisuki-Suki wrote:
or continue to message you. Don't waste time cause he's not into you.
or most likely don't bother to message or got anything to talk about/wanting to talk about?

qwueri 
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Posted 4/12/16

redokami [link url="/forumtopic-947889/are-we-in-the-day-and-age-women-have-to-make-the-first-move?fpid=53633173" title="View quoted post]
I have tried match...LDSsingles, LDSplanet, momomatch, ok cupid, POF


Dating sites are a big semi-anonymous pool of people and you just kind of have to grind them out to get anywhere. Depending on your geographic location that can also scew the pool of potential dates.

Those sites work for some folks, but not so much others. I had an awful time finding anyone in my area when using eharmony several years back.

Don't rely solely on the sites. They aren't a replacement for going out and having fun, and seeing who you meet along the way. Just a supplement.
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Posted 4/12/16


Ah I'm kinda confused by what you mean... but I'm assuming that the person he/she is pursuing cba to messaged or has anything to talk about?

Maybe it's not the case the for everyone but as cheesy as this sounds, I think when two people like each other, it just clicks. They want to know more about one another?

I have no idea.
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Posted 4/12/16

Daisuki-Suki wrote:



Ah I'm kinda confused by what you mean... but I'm assuming that the person he/she is pursuing cba to messaged or has anything to talk about?

Maybe it's not the case the for everyone but as cheesy as this sounds, I think when two people like each other, it just clicks. They want to know more about one another?

I have no idea.


how can you know if you like the person if you don't talk to them -at all-
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Posted 4/12/16
Depends..... What "move"?
Posted 4/12/16 , edited 4/12/16
IRL: Lol when I make the first "move" they back away and make it seem like I've annoyed them or something. I stopped doing it after that.
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Posted 4/12/16

TheUltimateTeaGod wrote:

Depends..... What "move"?


messaging, asking about the person , whatever
not sex
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Posted 4/12/16


I have no idea, you can like someone base on their appearances and yearn to want to know them more = to like them. But yeah, talking to them helps to solidify if you like them.

But how do you start liking someone.. enough to take initiate to message?
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Posted 4/12/16

Daisuki-Suki wrote:



I have no idea, you can like someone base on their appearances and yearn to want to know them more = to like them. But yeah, talking to them helps to solidify if you like them.

But how do you start liking someone.. enough to take initiate to message?

there is also a little something called being polite and not rude by ATLEAST saying you are not interested, ive only had 2 do that out over 100+
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Posted 4/12/16 , edited 4/12/16

stars201 wrote:
IRL: Lol when I make the first "move" they back away and make it seem like I've annoyed them or something. I stopped doing it after that.
Thats why you ain't coming back for me?!
But yeah most guys (atleast in a "reasonable" state) would consider it to be an option that its being a.. trap!
so yeah many guys that isn't that high for it at that point would ignore it or atleast turn away from it (so if going a bit more in for it they could maybe notice where you would want to go) but again many guys don't feel the need to go for it then what a girl might do (like to how some females do have a "goal"/future that having a family/kids or get married and would want to "progress" more then some of the bit older guys unless in a more "father" position).

but thats just ramble with more rambling...
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Posted 4/12/16
If guys like what they see, they'll message first. I don't have any girl friends who've never experienced guys taking the initiative. It tends to be that way, actually.
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Posted 4/12/16

Freddy96NO wrote:


stars201 wrote:
IRL: Lol when I make the first "move" they back away and make it seem like I've annoyed them or something. I stopped doing it after that.
Thats why you ain't coming back for me?!
But yeah most guys (atleast in a "reasonable" state) would consider it to be an option that its being a.. trap!
so yeah many guys that isn't that high for it at that point would ignore it or atleast turn away from it (so if going a bit more in for it they could maybe notice where you would want to go) but again many guys don't feel the need to go for it then what a girl might do (like to how some females do have a "goal"/future that having a family/kids or get married and would want to "progress" more then some of the bit older guys unless in a more "father" position).

but thats just ramble with more rambling...


not a lot of men in my age group want to date to look for a marriage, so when you say you don't date to just date
and you don't want to have sex until marriage, it scares everyone away

thing is I have to say that otherwise its expected I will have sex
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Posted 4/12/16 , edited 4/12/16

redokami wrote:
thing is I have to say that otherwise its expected I will have sex
Just some guys thinking its being a bit too much if its real, with work/hobby and the whole protection or if going "serious" and such while most likely be there for you.
again with the whole date for dating's sake is for both men and women, while either gets bored when they get those who want it to be.. real.. unless you meet another that does it the same way (like if it goes quiet for both or using simple opening words but also could turn out to be quite boring or "fun" in some way)
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Posted 4/12/16

redokami wrote:

not a lot of men in my age group want to date to look for a marriage, so when you say you don't date to just date and you don't want to have sex until marriage, it scares everyone away. thing is I have to say that otherwise its expected I will have sex


At your age, you need to date just to date to see if you can find the right person who is willing to wait with you.

You also have to decide as you date someone, how far you are willing to go as you learn more about them and care more about them to figure things out (without having sex). Are you only going to kiss someone until you get married, or are other options on the table as you get to know them better? Those things you'll only find out as you get to know someone and talk with them about those topics.

If you are saying you things like you only want to date marriage material and you don't want to have sex until marriage (both fine ideals), then you are certainly running a very high percentage of guys away before they even get a chance to know you.

I am saying this as my GF in high school wanted to wait until marriage for sex, but most everything else sexual wise was okay as we dated for years. We broke up and I had sex immediately with someone else (because I was a teen-aged guy and a moron, but those things kind of go together), but we eventually got back together and did get married (although she gave up her ideals after we were engaged and living together) although it didn't last and we got divorced after 5 years but things ended amicably so...

Try not to get discouraged, but also try not to push people away before they can get a chance to know you and vice versa (maybe you aren't - but this post makes it sound like you are letting prospective people know up front things that will scare most away, either in your messages or profile, etc. and if you wait until you have at least talked with them a bit before bringing it up, then maybe it won't).

Sorry, this got longer than I intended.
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Posted 4/12/16

FuLinHyu wrote:


redokami wrote:

not a lot of men in my age group want to date to look for a marriage, so when you say you don't date to just date and you don't want to have sex until marriage, it scares everyone away. thing is I have to say that otherwise its expected I will have sex


At your age, you need to date just to date to see if you can find the right person who is willing to wait with you.

You also have to decide as you date someone, how far you are willing to go as you learn more about them and care more about them to figure things out (without having sex). Are you only going to kiss someone until you get married, or are other options on the table as you get to know them better? Those things you'll only find out as you get to know someone and talk with them about those topics.

If you are saying you things like you only want to date marriage material and you don't want to have sex until marriage (both fine ideals), then you are certainly running a very high percentage of guys away before they even get a chance to know you.

I am saying this as my GF in high school wanted to wait until marriage for sex, but most everything else sexual wise was okay as we dated for years. We broke up and I had sex immediately with someone else (because I was a teen-aged guy and a moron, but those things kind of go together), but we eventually got back together and did get married (although she gave up her ideals after we were engaged and living together) although it didn't last and we got divorced after 5 years but things ended amicably so...

Try not to get discouraged, but also try not to push people away before they can get a chance to know you and vice versa (maybe you aren't - but this post makes it sound like you are letting prospective people know up front things that will scare most away, either in your messages or profile, etc. and if you wait until you have at least talked with them a bit before bringing it up, then maybe it won't).

Sorry, this got longer than I intended.


I understand truly,
it is stated in my profile simply as looking for marriage
and

if you are looking for a hook up or booty call don't message - yes ik I put don't message- but there are men who lead you on and don't say anything until later , that they don't want a commitment, so before I put my heart , soul, and time into dating someone , so I myself don't elad them on, I say it
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