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Would you say yes?
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M / U.S.A California
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Posted 4/14/16 , edited 4/14/16
I have a (probably) unpopular opinion on relationships. If you are not ready to make a commitment to someone. Do not get in a relationship. The point of a relationship is to find the one you want to marry. If you say no to a proposal your reason should be you do not want to marry them and just break the whole relationship off.
In that scenario, you said no once, say it again. But this time break off the relationship. No reason not to hang around them still but if your not ready their is no point in getting in a relationship. Plus they are obviously ready for a relationship tell them no, break it off, let them look for someone else who is ready.
(Edit: I thought about this some more and realized the situation is different if you barely have gotten to know them yet, say you have only known them for 6 months decline and get to know them better till you decide whether they are right for you. Just explain that to them and get to know them, if it works out it works out.)
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26 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/14/16

Lukewolf40 wrote:

I have a (probably) unpopular opinion on relationships. If you are not ready to make a commitment to someone. Do not get in a relationship. The point of a relationship is to find the one you want to marry. If you say no to a proposal your reason should be you do not want to marry them and just break the whole relationship off.
In that scenario, you said no once, say it again. But this time break off the relationship. No reason not to hang around them still but if your not ready their is no point in getting in a relationship. Plus they are obviously ready for a relationship tell them no, break it off, let them look for someone else who is ready.
(Edit: I thought about this some more and realized the situation is different if you barely have gotten to know them yet, say you have only known them for 6 months decline and get to know them better till you decide whether they are right for you. Just explain that to them and get to know them, if it works out it works out.)


The person who wants to get married probably assumes that the person who doesn't want to get married will change their mind by doing a propsal.
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23 / M / UK
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Posted 4/14/16
Simply put: no

If you have told you significant other that you are not ready for marriage then they should accept that decision. Knowing this and then proposing in front of your family in order to implicitly pressure you into saying yes is a major dick move. Quite frankly, I'd be considering the pros and cons of remaining with that person afterwards.
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21 / F / Seoul, South Korea
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Posted 4/14/16
No!
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 4/14/16
Lol no shut up you big idiot xDDD
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 4/14/16
Yes or no ? no feel
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29 / M / Sacramento, CA
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Posted 4/14/16
In theory, I would absolutely refuse. But knowing myself, if I was actually put in that situation, I'd probably cave in to the pressure and agree just to make sure her family didn't hate me (which they would probably end up doing anyways after our marriage inevitably falls apart).
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22 / M / Australia
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Posted 4/14/16
This is a tricky question. You risk embarrassing them massively. Honestly I wouldn't know what I would do, maybe say yes in front of the crowd and then tell them I'm not ready yet after or straight out just say no. I don't like lying typically in real life.
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43 / M
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Posted 4/14/16
Sounds like a broken relationship from the get go,
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26 / M / USA
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Posted 4/15/16
Tell them you're not ready.
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19 / M / Somewhere a lot l...
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Posted 4/15/16 , edited 4/15/16
I would say yes to make them avoid embarrassment and then tell them "lol JK nah, not ready yet" when we're alone because if they're rude enough to ignore my wish, then I'd be normally rude enough to lie to them
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Bent Reality
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Posted 4/15/16
Why would I say yes? Because of the pressure? Like heck I'm gonna be forced into a relationship I don't want at the time just because they ask me in front of their family. Besides if I've gotten to that point with someone but I still don't want to marry them then I must have a reason. I doubt I'd ever be put in a situation like this anyways because I doubt I'll be getting to this point anyway
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27 / F / Overlord's Castle
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Posted 4/15/16
don't be in the relationship with them. thats just mean to toy with their feelings.
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41 / M / USA
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Posted 4/15/16 , edited 4/15/16

ZavinRoyalheart wrote:

Let's say you're in a relationship with someone who wants to get married. You've told them you aren't ready for marriage. One day when you're at their family's house for dinner. At this dinner they pop the question in front of their family.
Personally I would have to say no. I would look like the bad guy but I'm not going to be trapped like that.
Do you say yes?
What happens next?


I'd ask them if they have a bad memory or simply choose to ignore me because I've clearly told them I wasn't ready yet. I'd tell them they must think they're being cute trying to pull some pressure shit by asking in front of fam.

Fyi, I'm not the type of person to shit slide lol. I'll call someone out in a heartbeat regardless of the connection they have with me.
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17 / F / Kuto-ko Tokyo Japan
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Posted 6/1/16
Dont be afraid to tell the trueth and what you really feel.
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