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Post Reply Would you say yes?
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 6/1/16
In my case it was her father and stepmother who asked the both of us when we'd be getting married. She asked me to answer for her. I told them that we had discussed the possibility and I felt I wasn't in a position to support a family yet. We promised to let them know once we decided we were ready. If it was different and she pressured me too my answer would be the same to her. I'll ask once I'm sure I'm in a position to support a family.
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M
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Posted 6/1/16
"Pass the ketchup please."
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19 / F
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Posted 6/1/16
" Is it April fools today? oh!"
LOL
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17 / M / Wales - That coun...
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Posted 6/1/16
If I was in the moment I may say but feel very uncomfortable about it, although if I could, I'd say no and to leave it a while.
Posted 6/1/16
Good grief! I made this a long time ago. Who digs down this deep? Woah, dude.
Posted 6/1/16
i'd probably break up with them on the spot...
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25 / M / NYC Metro Area
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Posted 6/1/16 , edited 6/1/16
Well, if she's a keeper better act fast before someone else steals her beneath your feet, nobody is going to wait forever either. I'm no longer 18 and the market gets worse by the year, the clock is ticking
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22 / F / Canada
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Posted 6/1/16
i'd want to punch them out, but i wont
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25 / F
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Posted 6/2/16
I'd say yes not to embarrass them in front of everyone. Then behind closed doors I'd call it off. Bad route to go, I know.
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Posted 6/2/16

Em0SceneStabr wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Then don't date someone who wants to get married quickly.

You don't always know what a persons long term goals are especially now a days. I was in a relationshion with someone, we were dating for over a year before i finally figured out that to this person not only were we NOT a couple, to them we weren't even dating we were "Hanging out"


Yes.... and it makes it trickier if you try to talk about it early in the relationship. it is like people are too afraid of people jumping into something, they don't even want to talk about the future.

Personally, I think "What kind of relationship are you looking for?" "Do you want kids?" etc are perfectly valid questions for a first date. I mean, it isn't saying "Let's be together forever." or "Let's have kids." You just want to know what mess you are getting into, and if it is a dead end or not.

Sooo glad I'm married and don't have to deal with this anymore.
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M / In Italy for a year
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Posted 6/2/16
why marry? I think we're okay as we're right now
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21 / M / U.S.A.
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Posted 6/2/16
Lol hell no.

If i already told them once it's their fault for bringing it up again at a more awkward situation.
lawdog 
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M
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Posted 6/2/16

ZavinRoyalheart wrote:

Let's say you're in a relationship with someone who wants to get married. You've told them you aren't ready for marriage. One day when you're at their family's house for dinner. At this dinner they pop the question in front of their family.
Personally I would have to say no. I would look like the bad guy but I'm not going to be trapped like that.
Do you say yes?
What happens next?


EDIT
You guys talk almost as if you actually think I'm in a situation like this. That's kind of the vibe I'm getting here (I could be wrong). This is not the case.


Every person I know who's been pressured into marriage (marry me or we're done!), and not just public proposals, and who agreed to get married, has ended up divorced. It is a recipe for disaster.

However, this is not the same as "We've been in this relationship for x many years, I need to know whether you want to get married or not, let me know in a month(s) week(s) or so." This is vastly different from giving an out-of-the-blue ultimatum.

Here's my take: If you're not ready for marriage, you shouldn't be in any sort of permanent, monogamous relationship. This is much more important when you're in your mid to late 20s and later. It's irresponsible to take years away from someone you've no intention of marrying, time that person could have spent actually searching (and hopefully finding) a true life partner.

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8500 / F / Apollo...
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Posted 6/2/16
Let me add something else.

Marriage is not necessary to prove one's love. You don't need a ring and a ceremony. Enjoy the relationship as an intangible bond, not a piece of legal paper.
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Somewhere
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Posted 6/2/16
Depends will their father potentially try to kill me for making them cry if I say "No, I'm not ready."?
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