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Post Reply Is it selfish of me to not want my parents to become future grandparents?
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/14/16
Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.


So, I've mentioned to my mother but not father that I don't want her becoming a grandparent. I see no point in having little Qualeshias running around me. And besides there is nothing glamorous about being a grandparent at least in my eyes. I don't want to have children because I see no point in having that responsibility. I can still be an adult and happy without a child. Children aren't that great either. They're just tiny human beings to me and no reason to get all crazy for. I'm not willing to stop living my life just so I can pop out a kid or two. And my parents better accept that I don't want to have a cliche lifestyle. If they really wanted to have grandchildren, then my mother and father should've had another child. But does this make me selfish and pretentious? Is it wrong to not want children? I mean parenting seems so overrated just like marriage. I ask this because I'm getting older and my mother probably wonders when I'm going to start dating and starting a family. I thought about what it would be like to be a parent but it seemed so stupid and a waste of time. I deserve to be happy and free without the burden of child.


So is this selfish of me? How do you feel about this?

Enjoy!!!
Posted 4/14/16
No. That's not selfish. We live in America. You're meant to have kids in rural areas and third world countries because children are useful for work. It's not necessary for New Jersey. If you don't want kids then you don't have to have them. No reason for you to put your dreams away so you can raise a kid just to appease your parents. It's your life.
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22 / F
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Posted 4/14/16
That's not selfish at all!!
Anyone who tries to claim that you are being selfish for not wanting to have kids is wrong. No one has the right to dictate how another person should live their life.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/14/16
Thank guys.
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22 / M
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Posted 4/14/16 , edited 4/14/16
Not selfish at all girl, live your life.
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M / U.S.A California
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Posted 4/14/16
Chose what you want. I'm not gonna lie being a grandparent does not look like a bad life. Your old and you get to see these children who love the heck out of you, but at the same time you don't have to deal with all the stress being a parent has. Still, no reason to have children if you do not want them. I'm in that boat with you (at least now). Your parents will probably understand, they had kids, they know how tough it is to have a child. If your not ready for that it is unwise to have a child that is what I was told, if I do not want kids its best for me, whoever my wife is, and the children that I do not have them.
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23 / M / AZ
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Posted 4/14/16
Nope. It's not selfish to not want kids,

I'm gay and the possibility of me having kids is zero. This will devastate my parents because I'm the oldest and have to continue the family name.
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25 / M / Dallas
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Posted 4/14/16
Choosing not to become a parent isn't selfish. Having kids isn't for everyone.
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Posted 4/14/16

qualeshia3:

Thank guys.


Qel, its your right. And if you should change your mind, its all good
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41 / M / Louisville, Ky
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Posted 4/14/16 , edited 4/14/16
My point of view has always been that it wouldn't be fair to the child to have me as a parent because my parents wanted grandchildren, but i didn't. I would hate more than anything to make a child feel unwanted, i would end up hating myself for feeling that way, and no matter how hard i tried, my child would sense it, and suffer for it. When I told my mother that, she finally let it go, albeit reluctantly. Of course, my family was a bit odd, so I don't know if saying that would work for you, but that is my two cents, if it's worth even that much.
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29 / M / Sacramento, CA
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Posted 4/14/16
No, if you're parents are pressuring you to have kids when you don't want them just so they can call themselves grandparents, then they're the ones being selfish (not saying that's necessarily the case with you but still). Live your own life. Having kids is about the most life changing event that can happen to you and its certainly not for everybody.

I used to think I wanted to have kids eventually. The idea sounds fun, a miniature combination of you and someone you love running around. But when my roommate's girlfriend and her kid moved in I became the defacto babysitter and learned how much work kids actually are. I'm now convinced my life will be MUCH less stressful without kids and have ZERO desire to ever go through something like that for myself.

If you want to have kids go for it, but if you don't there's no need to feel guilty about not wanting to put yourself through that.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/14/16

Aoikihen wrote:


qualeshia3:

Thank guys.


Qel, its your right. And if you should change your mind, its all good


Thanks.
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 4/14/16 , edited 4/15/16
Yes, it's selfish. That said; you ought to get past the idea that "selfish" is universally bad. It's your decision to have kids or not, ergo it should be selfish. No one else should make the choice for you.
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29 / M
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Posted 4/14/16
No. It is your choice if you want kids or not.
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The States
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Posted 4/14/16
Love this thread, 100% support and good advice.
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