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Post Reply Is people pleasing an annoying trait to have?
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Posted 4/28/16 , edited 4/28/16

ZavinRoyalheart wrote:

I'm bad with words. What I'm really trying to get at is the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
I don't expect anything in return for good deeds. It's nice to have though.

I wasn't saying you were, sorry if I made you think so. I think it's perfectly legit to expect being treated well by others when you are nice to them. I was refering to people trying to get more than that (sex, money, services, material goods, etc).
Posted 4/28/16 , edited 4/28/16

the_krock wrote:


ZavinRoyalheart wrote:

I'm bad with words. What I'm really trying to get at is the golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
I don't expect anything in return for good deeds. It's nice to have though.

I wasn't saying you were, sorry if I made you think so. I think it's perfectly legit to expect being treated well by others when you are nice to them. I was refering to people trying to get more than that (sex, money, services, material goods, etc).


Don't worry 'bout it, doc. It's all good.
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Posted 4/30/16
No I don't find it annoying. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to make people happy. That being said, I don't think being a people pleaser is a good thing. Lots of "friends" will take advantage of that person.
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Posted 5/1/16
Guess which I picked...
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Posted 5/1/16 , edited 5/1/16
It can be, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
I believe there's nothing good that anyone can do without being bad from another perspective, so trying to make as many people happy as possible can be a good trait that everyone should have so long as it doesn't get in the way of making one's self happy. Or to put it another way pleasing "people" is great when you include yourself in the "people" that benefit.
Of course I am speaking from my own ideals, so I'm biased.

Most of my experience in this is from my own efforts to make people happy in the workplace and I did it for it's own sake, not with the intention of getting anything in return and in retrospect it was good that I didn't want anything. And from others who could easily have just been nice in general.

Then there are a few instances of people pleasers that needed constant praise and "thank you"s and tried using emotional blackmail to get these. For example cooking a large meal and inviting me then getting angry with me when I wasn't interested and her husband had to white knight me by saying I should have been more appreciative. It was a mad house.
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