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Post Reply Why are nice and good people looked down upon?
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26 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/29/16
Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.

"Just an observation. I never say anything to insult anyone, even if they start insulting me. I never do anything to hurt anyone. I'm not rude... I always help everyone, even my most hated enemies, without asking for anything back. I'm also not the only one, I see a lot of nice people. All we get is stepped on, used, insulted, pushed around, and when we get pushed around and we fight back, all of a sudden we're the worst person in the world.

It seems like all the mean, rude, ungrateful, immature, etc etc. people in this world have the better lives... They have plenty of money, plenty of friends, they seem to get anything they want, and above all things, they're happy. It's almost like they leech off of other people's pain to become happy. I thought being a good person was supposed to help you in life, not make it harder for you.... "


I found this on the internet and thought it was interesting. What do you think about it? Are nice and good people looked down upon? Does being nice and good have it's limits? Lend me your thoughts.





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41 / M / USA
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Posted 4/29/16 , edited 4/29/16
As the saying goes, "Nice guys finish last." You only want that to happen in bed.

Joking aside (though there is some truth to the above) I would point out that most of the nicer people (in my experience that is) I've met are often less assertive and driven than someone deemed as the traits you pointed out. Not all nice people are looked down upon but I do think they are viewed as weaker because they tend to come off more docile. That will certainly reflect in the work environment and garner certain reactions from people over time. I know most of the people I would deem as mean or an asshole at my job aren't looked at any better or worse than the nicer ones. Mostly because as long as the job is getting done and no drama is being caused then we don't care.

I'd say it's safe to assume that nicer people probably get looked down on more often than the opposite does. Maybe try being less nice more cordial instead? Could help. I see no reason to give people anything extra.
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25 / M / USA
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Posted 4/29/16
There's a difference between being nice and being a doormat.

It just so happens that more nice than mean people tend to be doormats.



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Posted 4/29/16 , edited 4/29/16
dotsforlife, there is a problem. Being less nice creates tension which leads to drama. It seems being nice means you have to go all the way, there isn't a reverse button. Well, I am looking for an answer for this. Then again I come out as more needy than others, sucks
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26 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 4/29/16
I don't know I feel like there is some truth to this.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 4/29/16
because people rather people who are not nice or good.

That's atleast what i have observed
qwueri 
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Posted 4/29/16
Huh, I usually find being polite and friendly, or at least cordial leaves me at a net positive when dealing with people. Where some "nice" people tend to feel trod upon is because their niceness isn't reciprocated. I try to be polite with no expectation that other people will return the favor. I try to be nice because it uplifts my personal outlook, and any colateral niceness returned is a nice bonus.

The world can be rough. Practicing positive behavior needs the come from and as internal happiness first. Otherwise its a pursuit of validation from others, which can easily lead to trod upon feelings.

Looking at jerks, I don't see happiness. I see stress, ugly attitudes, and increased strife with others. You can be successful without being a jerk or without being nice, they aren't really the factors with success, that's more about motivation and drive.
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Posted 4/29/16 , edited 4/29/16

PrinceJudar wrote:

There's a difference between being nice and being a doormat.

It just so happens that more nice than mean people tend to be doormats.






Alot of people get looked down upon for being nice even if there not doormats though and i have noticed this alot.

It's my personal theory that people secretly like it when others are not nice and are douches or dickheads at times but that is probably not true however going off of ancedotal evidence alone it seems like it honestly if there were a way to test this accurately i would love to see the actual results as i feel they would be more in favour of those who are not nice.
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Posted 4/29/16

Ryulightorb wrote:
Alot of people get looked down upon for being nice even if there not doormats though and i have noticed this alot.

It's my personal theory that people secretly like it when others are not nice and are douches or dickheads at times but that is probably not true however going off of ancedotal evidence alone it seems like it honestly if there were a way to test this accurately i would love to see the actual results as i feel they would be more in favour of those who are not nice.


Altruism is a favored trait in humans, there have been studies. You'll find being nice, plainly, is rewarded more than the reverse. People who are nice just have a bad habit of not knowing when to put their foot down--and that is frowned on.



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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 4/29/16

PrinceJudar wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:
Alot of people get looked down upon for being nice even if there not doormats though and i have noticed this alot.

It's my personal theory that people secretly like it when others are not nice and are douches or dickheads at times but that is probably not true however going off of ancedotal evidence alone it seems like it honestly if there were a way to test this accurately i would love to see the actual results as i feel they would be more in favour of those who are not nice.


Altruism is a favored trait in humans, there have been studies. You'll find being nice, plainly, is rewarded more than the reverse. People who are nice just have a bad habit of not knowing when to put their foot down--and that is frowned on.





Ah ok and that's weird i have seen the opposite atleast where i live people prefer to hang around and talk to or like those who are less Altruistic and more of the dickhead kind.

But that is totally anecdotal but it make me wonder why i see so many nice people who people dislike but so many dickheads that everyone loves
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41 / M / USA
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Posted 4/29/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


PrinceJudar wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:
Alot of people get looked down upon for being nice even if there not doormats though and i have noticed this alot.

It's my personal theory that people secretly like it when others are not nice and are douches or dickheads at times but that is probably not true however going off of ancedotal evidence alone it seems like it honestly if there were a way to test this accurately i would love to see the actual results as i feel they would be more in favour of those who are not nice.


Altruism is a favored trait in humans, there have been studies. You'll find being nice, plainly, is rewarded more than the reverse. People who are nice just have a bad habit of not knowing when to put their foot down--and that is frowned on.





Ah ok and that's weird i have seen the opposite atleast where i live people prefer to hang around and talk to or like those who are less Altruistic and more of the dickhead kind.

But that is totally anecdotal but it make me wonder why i see so many nice people who people dislike but so many dickheads that everyone loves


For me personally, I'd rather talk to someone who is more of a prick. They tend to be more honest and upfront. Nicer people take a lot of extra things into account when they speak to others. Emotions being a big one. People like me don't care for that. It's far easier to just have manners or be cordial without doing the whole nice shit. Waste of time to me and comes off fake with a lot of people. I'd rather just cut to the chase and be on my way.
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25 / M / USA
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Posted 4/29/16

dotsforlife wrote:

For me personally, I'd rather talk to someone who is more of a prick. They tend to be more honest and upfront. Nicer people take a lot of extra things into account when they speak to others. Emotions being a big one. People like me don't care for that. It's far easier to just have manners or be cordial without doing the whole nice shit. Waste of time to me and comes off fake with a lot of people. I'd rather just cut to the chase and be on my way.


Well that goes into perception though too. People favor those they view as altruistic. I don't think the dishonest and fake comforting types that when trusted will likely stab you in the back in an emotional fit of rage are my definition of nice.

Honest and rational just happens to be my perception of nicer people.


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Posted 4/29/16 , edited 4/29/16
Well, you need to be like a knight sometimes if things doesn't work out, we all know Lelouch isn't the knight type, but is he bad? can't really say
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21 / Cold and High
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Posted 4/29/16 , edited 4/29/16
Why are they looking down?
and sometimes some would say they are weak..
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47 / F / Reston, VA, USA
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Posted 4/29/16
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