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Do you think raising children is a burden?
Posted 5/4/16
If you don't enjoy something, it's always a burden.
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21 / F / Canada
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Posted 5/4/16
They're parasites that suck on their parents dreams.
Posted 5/4/16 , edited 5/4/16
I haven't had a child yet. But I've had some mummy friends. Finding time for yourself is difficult. They don't get much sleep. (Especially if their child is still a little cute baby.) Life is taking care of the kids. And that's what their life is about. I've seen so many of them sacrifice their work time to play with their daughters/sons... And to educate them. Also, they don't really go out with their friends anymore? I don't know if it's a thing, but that sort of "socialise" with your adult friends and stuff isn't always happening. I don't know if they regret it. But a lot of them put family first after baby comes...

They also become a lot more paranoid around their friends who do smoke or drink extensively.... xD (Like those friends aren't invited to family parties until the kid grows older...)

Also, I find that if both parents work, the kids tend to be a little naughty - a little mean to each other. So having a parent who is willing to be patient and to look after them, and morally direct them in the right direction is important....

It's a lot of work, but you get what you put in when it comes to children. Of course, there's a strategy for that though......... And children don't follow formulas all the time. Some understanding of child psychology is important. So educate yourself before conceiving...

By the way, some kids are really cute. They worship their parents.... And follow them around everywhere..... xD
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21 / Australia
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Posted 5/5/16
If I ever do have children in the future (Which I want), I can't see myself believing them to be a burden. It's like a mini me, how I couldn't I love that?! I do agree children are annoying though, especially on public transport >.>
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23 / M / Beyond The Wall
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Posted 5/5/16
It would only be a burden if you arent mentally,physically and economically prepared for it. Which is why I refuse to have kids until I know for a fact that I can provide this for them.
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Posted 5/5/16 , edited 5/5/16
I've got one sister who sees children as a burden and the other who sees them as a joy to raise. The joyful one has got a better childhood. I'd say do what you can to choose to be a parent or not. If you do nothing or are so passive that you don't use contraception when being sexually active then you'll become responsible for another's life unless you find a proper way to pass that parental responsibility to someone ready to parent via official foster care and adoption. If I choose to parent I would not see it as a burden. I've had enough experience with my niece and nephews any way including taking on parental duties from the sister who sees her offspring as a burden. I fostered her children when she was going through a bad time. When I did that I had no idea if it was going to be temporary or permanent.
Posted 5/5/16

KarenAraragi wrote:


WeeabooWarrior wrote:


KarenAraragi wrote:

I keep asking myself that a lot. In one hand I want to raise a kid and make sure his/her life is better than mine was when I was young . In the other hand, I really don't want to marry. So I decide not now but a few years from now to adopt. Here the problem, though. What more difficult to raise a teenager or a baby? I mean sooner or later I will have to deal with the teenager phase if I choice a baby. But a the same time a baby got his own set of problems to deal with.

Anyway that why I am asking this. So I also got a few more questions to ask.

If you are a parent I will like to know how did you or are now dealing with the teenager phase?
How do you find time for yourself?
Were there any sacrifices you have to make in particular for your kid?
Is your life easier or harder because of having a kid?
Do you regret any choice about raising your kid?
When is the right time for them to have a cellphone?
When did you talk to your kid about sex and sexual stuff in general?
Anything you want to add up?


If you want some objectivity on the issue, here's a descent analysis.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1xf78EltKM

My advice to you is this. You have to do what's in the best interest of the child. Is only having 1 parent a good idea? I understand how you feel about not marrying, with laws and alimony being rough for men like myself, it's pretty much a dead end for now.

Do some researching, and tell me what you find.


You know my dad kind raise me by himself. Mom isn't a saint.


I understand. My father was a better parent than my mother, I can sort of relate. Although this is about the best chance for success. If you have the resources, time, patience and willpower, well I can't argue against that. But only look at what's best for your kid as it should be.
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23 / M / Texas
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Posted 5/5/16
I don't really care to have children I can't even being to picture myself as a caregiver, let alone a parent. No way i'm doing it.
Posted 5/5/16
Never have, but yes, they'd be a heavy weight to carry.
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26 / F / Ohio
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Posted 5/5/16
I'd suggest doing some volunteer work with kids.
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23 / M / Texas
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Posted 5/5/16
No kids for me
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100 / M
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Posted 5/5/16 , edited 5/5/16
Hmm, I have thought about this.. what its like to taking care of them.. I can barely take care of myself, so having kid is like taking another of care of yourself.

I don't think I can handle the stress.. Since growing up, My father only show me what life is like inside the bottle. He doesn't do Christmas, or birthday.. He just Drinks all night and sleep all day. So.. I don't think I can do it. :/
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27 / Maryland
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Posted 5/5/16
Yes, God yes. If its not a burden you're not trying hard enough.
Sogno- 
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Posted 5/5/16
when i lived with my sister and her husband she told me i was an "inconvenience" to them. same concept. i haven't forgotten that nor will i ever will, but from the perspective of an old woman i now realize she simply didn't understand nor was ready for children

she has two now and i highly doubt she'd ever call her child inconvenient. she wanted them, and now she will take care of them and nuture them. pretty simple.


redokami wrote:

it is not a burden it is a responsibility


^ yes.

honestly if you feel children are a burden, don't even bother with kids. you can be miserable by yourself. don't drag anyone else into it, especially a child
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Posted 5/5/16
I think it's a burden with diminishing return, because there's only so much parents can do, if the kid is gonna be bad, it will be bad.

Now, if the kid grows up with decent morals and social/ scholastic knowledge, that's a good thing.
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