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Post Reply How do you handle the dramas in your life?
9514 cr points
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19 / F / USA
Posted 5/26/16
Whenever someone pisses me off I go on a rant and talk to the person. I rather have them tell me straightforward then being back stabbed. We are on equal ground so there is no reason that you can't talk to this person face to face.
24 cr points
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28 / M
Posted 5/26/16 , edited 5/26/16
The internet; 2016.
A NEET ( due to illness ) in his late twenties decides to try something new and volunteers for an advice column. The first problem he faces is from a young twenty-something seeking advice on dealing with their "creepy" sensei. The sensei spent the first year working in the chem-lab making advances, physical contact, and attempts to sleep with the individual before going over seas for a year. The NEET's duty lasts for only a few days.

The individual files a harassment claim against him after he leaves for his trip and moves to a new apartment. Time passes and the sensei returns to the university. He shows up outside of the individual's new apartment after somehow getting their address, waiting for people to leave the building so he can get passed the secured entry and eventually succeeds. He knocks on their door but eventually leaves when he realizes he won't be getting inside at that point in time.

The individual asks the community what they should do. Contact the police or university? They didn't want their sensei to lose his job but at the same time they were frightened of him; especially since the sensei knew of the harassment claim. They weren't sure if the sensei was coming to confront her or converse with her about the situation or worse: court her.

Some people say to contact both; others ask questions and some say to begin documenting his "visits" to the complex and after seeing/taking account of the individual's response I put fourth my two cents:

* If he loses his job because of you you'd be protecting others from the same situation you are in.
* Don't contact him to talk things out because he might take it as an invitation.
* Let the college know you are serious and seek a lawyer who can provide you legal options like a C&D letter.
* Make it clear to the investigator he has made physical contact with your body.
* Consider buying some defensive items; stun guns/pepper spray and kubatons are okay.
* Mention the best tools for self-defense ( that I always carry ) will be a flashlight, a tactical pen ( pen/kubaton combo ) and ( as a last resort only ) a knife.
* I leave them two videos, see below, from Williams-Sensei; Bugei Trading president/martial artist that teaches CQC for military and self-defense for civies.
** An interview format on tools, training, awareness and personal and social responsibility:
** The best personal defense tools and how to use them:

The individual thanks me and says a flashlight would help given they have seen their sensei outside when they take their dog out after dark. The user goes on and says they will watch the videos to learn about the sort of tools they could realistically use and I recommend Williams-Sensei's pen, a flashlight over 300 lumens ( and a day or so later specified a small Maglite ) along with a knife with a blade under 2.5 inches/without serrations/has a fixed or locking blade. Others offer more advice which fails to work for one reason or another.

The sensei continues to try and get past the door but never contacts the individual. At this point the individual, in spite of being anonymous to me, has actually grown on me without me realizing it the way an invested caretaker at an orphanage cares for the orphans and learning their sensei succeeded in getting past the secured entry again alarmed me. The individual had thankfully locked their unit door behind them as the sensei tried to open it grabbed one of their kitchen knives and let him know they had one. The sensei eventually left after the individual kicked the door and bumped him off of it ( as if he were learning into the door ). Just before this happened the individual had asked for/was denied permission to hang up "do not let this man in" signs because they lacked a restraining order/was denied a restraining order by the police/found out their claim was not being taken seriously by their university because the sensei had tenure. The landlord also mentioned the man in question came and claimed to be their father to find out which unit they lived in.

Not to much later the individual posted about having seen my recommendation for a Maglite I made earlier ( but after my original recommendation of buying a flashlight/tactical pen/knife ) and said they loved my posts. At this point some users are saying they are beginning to think the individual is mean for not hearing the sensei out in spite of the fact the sensei had multiple ways ( specified somewhere along the way ) of communicating such as facetime, e-mail, skype, phone and during school. Others are pointing out that if the sensei simply wanted to talk to the individual they would have used those methods and not have waited for the individual by their apartment. Some people are trying to make the case that they may be misunderstanding the sensei that is most likely trying to be a "father" and feels hurt and the user is now trying to correct them. Somebody asks me if I like knives and the thread is beginning to derail off of the individual's problems and I mention I own three that I'd use for self-defense but try to bring things back to topic.

The next post is by the individual with some big news: the sensei was arrested: Out of fear the individual had stayed awake until passing out around 5:00 A.M. The sensei showed up around 7:00 A.M. and began trying to force their way into the individual's unit and some neighbors took notice. When the neighbors left for work around 9:00 A.M. they saw him working on her lock and trying to force the door open and called the police. The sensei had a vial of an unidentified substance on his person and the only reason they did not get into the apartment was the individual had the good sense to prop a chair below the doorknob.

The individual states that will be their final post but stick around for a few more in which I dropped a bunch of celebrity .gif with some snarky comments that gets them to laugh. The individual thanks me for having been so awesome and leaves. They later they come back one last time to state the police had finished testing the vial and said had contained chloroform. They then tell me they have finally ordered a "hybea" ( I think they meant hybeam ) flashlight and they were excited for it to arrive.

As my first venture of this sort ends I realize It is as if the metaphorical orphan I was caring for is leaving the orphanage. It feels wrong to just nonchalantly say goodbye and I go find a .gif ( .gif related ) to showcase how I am feeling and let them know volunteering for this was more moving than I thought it would be, that I was wishing them well. I'm happy that they were now in a position to not only better protect themselves but others as well ( see the first video if you've not done so; really, do it. ). I signed off and began to cry on and off the rest of this night but having seen this thread I've come to realize I'm not in a position to help other people with their drama in addition to my own. I think, for now, I'll face/handle my business as best I can while just ignoring other people's drama.


TL;DR: I've come to realize I'm not in a position to help other people with their drama in addition to my own. I think, for now, I'll face/handle my business as best I can while just ignoring other people's drama.

Edited by Anna_Maye-Shaun for corrections.
25 cr points
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24 / M
Posted 5/26/16
Stay quiet, internalizing it, and if it gets to be too much I take anxiety medication.
51803 cr points
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F / Colorado
Posted 5/26/16

How do you handle the drama that occurs in your life?

Do you...
Go on a rampage or rage out?
Stay silent?
Sneak away or avoid everything?

What do you do?

All of the above plus just ignore it. Just depends on who, when, where, and what.
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