Post Reply Pregnancy and financial troubles
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20 / F / Collingwood, Ontario
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Posted 6/3/16
Are there any other CR users who are in a similar boat as me?

I'm struggling financially (PT low wage job) and live with my boyfriends parents, since mine are inept and unavailable.
We both work. He's a FT employee, however his job is also low wage and he's not the greatest with financial responsibility (but, then again who is in this consumer nation :p )
We haven't mention a word of it to his parents yet, because we're not sure how they'll react so thankfully I haven't started to show. :p
He's nearly 2 years younger than me, his parents expect him to go too college soon, save up for a car and the whole shibang.
How the heck do we break the news and what are we going to do if his parents reject this terribly?
Rent is so gosh dang expensive in our area too so we're banking on a good reaction.

Any suggestions or relate able stories?
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26 / M / Your friendly nei...
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Posted 6/3/16
Abortion
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20 / Cold and High
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Posted 6/3/16 , edited 6/3/16
Spare until you are able to substain what would be a "home"...
As issues can arise, more money for few things..
But the bad thing rent etc would mostly go up over the years anyway?

Also anything could happend between the 2 of you? (just to be a bit secure if something happens)
Since you are older and he is younger he might not like moving or taking it so "fast"...
Atleast go with a steady flow.

Dunno how the relationship between their parents and such, but I guess it would be..nice with a room for just the 2 of you..

oh wait you mean that you are also pregnant?
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Posted 6/3/16
Everything I can think of would probably be interpreted as being "mean". At base, you probably need to find a better job and also encourage your boyfriend to perhaps not spend all his money.
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20 / F / Collingwood, Ontario
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Posted 6/3/16 , edited 6/3/16
Too late for abortion. My Ex refused to give me my bloody healthcard and it was a bitch of a time trying to prove my new address to service Ontario and it ended up taking just over 2 months to get a new one.

EDIT:
Just to clarify :P
My Ex boyfriend had the card still at his house for like 9 months and then wouldn't give it too me when I needed it (possibly out of spite and jealousy? who knows?)
Posted 6/3/16
The only thing you can do is tell them. I don't know why people think there is some mystical way of telling people this type of news. I don't know them, but if you wait until you're showing, and that's how they find out, you might get a reaction that you really don't want. Sit them down, and be sincere with how you both feel, and how you plan to move forward. You still have time to get some sort of plan together. Look into potential government assistance if one of you are going to finish schooling etc. START SAVING!
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20 / Cold and High
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Posted 6/3/16

XxscuttlebugxX wrote:
Too late for abortion. My Ex refused to give me my bloody healthcard and it was a bitch of a time trying to prove my new address to service Ontario and it ended up taking just over 2 months to get a new one.
wait it was also your ex child?.. or maybe not
why no rubber?

Posted 6/3/16
Oh my lord, I can't believe he refused to give you back your own rightful health card! What the heck does he need it for? Did you break up on bad terms?
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20 / F / Collingwood, Ontario
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Posted 6/3/16 , edited 6/3/16

Freddy96NO wrote:


XxscuttlebugxX wrote:
Too late for abortion. My Ex refused to give me my bloody healthcard and it was a bitch of a time trying to prove my new address to service Ontario and it ended up taking just over 2 months to get a new one.
wait it was also your ex child?.. or maybe not
why no rubber?



No no it's not my ex's child...thank the stars. That was a terrible abusive relationship. Plus I don't think he can have kids since he insisted I was infertile and would never conceive and I never did when I was with him (hence why protection wasn't a major concern). He just happened to have my healthcard still for like 9 months as I thought I packed it in my suitcase. I'm in general good health so taking trips to Doctors arent exactly a common thing so I just never realized until I needed it

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20 / Cold and High
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Posted 6/3/16
XxscuttlebugxX wrote
There should be an edit and delete right above your comment if you need to change anything.

With how that is like.. I guess it would be a rough start for both of you..
and why I get annoyed over things like these, even though it could be a great thing...could..

But atleast don't think too negative, but not too over excited or happy.
As there is still a long way to go might be longer because of the age thing.

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20 / F / Collingwood, Ontario
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Posted 6/3/16






Well that's the plan to try and think about this in a practical way.....and yeah the age thing all I know is when I was 18 I thought about things a heck of a lot differently.
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20 / F / Collingwood, Ontario
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Posted 6/3/16

SuzakuKaworu wrote:

Oh my lord, I can't believe he refused to give you back your own rightful health card! What the heck does he need it for? Did you break up on bad terms?


Yeah to say the least, we certainly did

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Posted 6/3/16
A lot of people are in your situation. You aren't alone. Find support groups where you can.

Ultimately you need to take the long view. Either you or him need to get a good paying job and work at it for years. If this means college then so be it. Do everything possible to avoid the trap of poverty and working at low paying jobs. The sooner you start earning good solid money the sooner your future will be set.

Once the child is born do everything possible to learn on relatives to assist in care. Daycare is a nightmare expense you should avoid at all costs. If you have to choose between working a low wage job with sending the child to daycare, and living at home caring for them, choose the latter. You will probably save money.

Be sure to rely on any social programs in your area. Don't be afraid to get handouts from Churches either, if you are seriously struggling. Once you have a child they will come first.

As strange as it may sound, you may also want to avoid getting married. "Single mothers" in many places can claim special benefits that married mothers cannot. Look up your local laws and statutes.

Good luck.
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20 / Cold and High
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Posted 6/4/16

XxscuttlebugxX wrote:
yeah the age thing all I know is when I was 18 I thought about things a heck of a lot differently.
And well its why things might not work out later on (even though if if thinking about it makes it worse).. sorry...
Such early "development" mostly works in places where people have more time for each other.
Like in a socitey or city that you mostly would live in, the work, education and such makes people drag on before they are able to accept things like forexample a child or such.
But then again I don't know what or how its between the 2 of you but to just remind that he might loose the reality of the situation (like feeling this isn't.. working anymore but again it cind of depends on who he is/are etc)
I guess you also want different things that he wants (future etc) and that with the whole pregnancy thing he might not tackle it (even though it goes on both sides and you would start feeling/wanting different things?) and what he might be loosing it at if things with you start changing and such where the mental issues comes in over your phyical issues even though its nothing one would want but it happends and there isn't much to do unless you can fix/handle some of it when it comes.

XxscuttlebugxX wrote:
Yeah to say the least, we certainly did
Come here strugglebug, snuggle with me.



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20 / F / Collingwood, Ontario
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Posted 6/4/16

Freddy96NO wrote:



Cute Lol Well I could certainly use some snuggling and deeestressification

Him and I have only been together since December, but we've known each other a while through mutual friends and the whole high school shibang We get along alright, he seems to be the more caring and loving one out of the two of us :P
Plus he said he's okay with raising a child with me even though we'd struggle of course, because he believes it will only be tough for a while.
But we shall see I guess
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