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Post Reply How do you stop from being boring?
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35 / F / windurst
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Posted 6/6/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

So multiple people have stopped talking to me lately because im boring and its really just left me depressed and wondering what do you other guys do so you aren't boring?

I don't know what to do apparently being myself bores others



You are hanging out with the wrong people.
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20 / M / Finland
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Posted 6/6/16 , edited 6/6/16
The thing about life is that you will never know what is waiting for you behind the corner. Reality is not unlimited, it has limits a mere human could never hope to change. Friendships don't escape this fact, friendships are not unlimited. The human mind fluctuates, changes to an extent from one moment to the next, society and life have multiple requirements that need to be fulfilled to stay alive and even more to stay engaged and happy in life. The unexpected keep surprising us and changing our circumstances. In such a changing word I simply can't believe a friendship created in one life situation could survive the change to any and every other situation even if as an idealist I hope so. Anyone might leave you at anytime and anywhere even if they say otherwise. nobody can be trusted to stay for life.
Still I believe it's worth it to get to know people even if it's just for a day or a week, I want to hear what other people have to say. Every person has something interesting in them and every interaction has something good in it. To bring forth the interesting parts with questions is the core of good social skills in my mind.

I have found if you want to be more interesting to more people you just need to do more in your life. Have more hobbies etc. Doesn't mean you can get along with everyone and the people who leave you like that are not worth thinking. Only by living can you have stories to tell. And remember the golden rule here, people love talking about themselves unless they have a reason to believe it's somehow a bad thing like a past experience. Questions are always a good thing.
Or you don't need to do a thing differently and just accept you're boring and stick with the people who think otherwise. I'm the most boring person there is and I seem to be doing okay even if I end up driving away more than half the people I talk to.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 6/6/16

PrinceJudar wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

Ehh I avoid those types of people.

If I make a friend I get close to I always stay with them as there friend even when it's not beneficial to me.

I hardly let many people in because most people just leave and as more and more do I close myself up even more.

I will have aquaintences who I talk to but I have under 8 friends who want to stay friends for life if possible.

If one of them leaves and stops being my friend I will end up hating them but I guess that's how life goes.

I make friends so I can have people who will stick by me till I die other then that I don't see a reason to let anyone in more then a friend (best friend ) unless I'm certain they won't leave for a long time.

That's just how I am XD maybe in the end for someone like me being alone is the healthiest thing to do because when friends go my love for them turns to hatred and anger

Maybe that's why I prefer machines to people haha people who come and go are awful friends in my opinion which is probably why I prefer my pets and machines.

Because I know they will be with me till they die or stop functioning

That's just my view on friendship though I'm pretty sure I'm in the minority with that but that's why I like to only make best friends who want to stay friends for life.

It's not that hard even if you stop talking for a year or two because things get hectic you are still best friends or friends.

Eh my view and feelings on friendship will probably just end up with me being friendless and bitter \o/ but that's how the game of life goes I guess.

Is that really true though? Quite clearly you do consider people friends while it remains beneficial to you. You expect some degree of discussion, attention, concern, reliability, and comfort...no? I mean clearly you want loyalty from them. If you legitimately got nothing out of it then you would accept being treated like trash.

People aren't going to stick around until they die because of some 'magical effect'. People stick around because they get something out of you. If you stop offering something they want (either what you're offering changed or their demands changed) then they pick up and leave. It's important to demand something out of having a relationship with someone. It's just as important people should pick up and leave when they get little benefit from you.

Otherwise you're asking people to put up with any bullshit on your end no matter what and still demand they stay.

Some people demand too much. Others offer too little. It's your call whether to change what you offer or simply seek people that accept what you currently offer.



I don't see a reason to become 'entertaining'. I am content with what I have to offer and with the people that accept it for as long as they shall. If you are not content with that route similar, then perhaps you really should consider putting more on the table.




well of course to an extent that is true however i still remain friends with people i don't talk to much anymore even though we have gone different ways in life and we plan to be friends for a long time despite that.

I get nothing out of talking to them apart from enjoyment and nostalgia but i still respect them and want them as a friend for as long as i live.

All i want in a friendship is someone to care about me and talk to me so i'm welcoming of people who are welcoming to me.

But you have good points and its true there is no magical friends forever switch.

only thing i don't know what more i could put to the table as i give my all in my friendships i want to be able to however find what i lack so i can supply it if that makes sense.

but the easier option would be just not to hang with those people however i want to overcome the person i am now and evolve and become better and superior to who i am today...actually that sounds really bad when i word it like that >.<
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Posted 6/6/16
Find new things you are interested in, hang out with people who share similar interests, something like that really
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21 / M / California
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Posted 6/6/16
I don't stop, there will always be someone who finds me boring. You just gotta find people who don't find you boring.
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24 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 6/6/16
What i do is befriend the people with at least one common interest. That way you have plenty to talk about. However sometimes people just don't want to talk anymore and you end up losing a friend. Who knows why it happens, but you shouldn't blame yourself. It is ok because you can just make new friends that will hopefully better appreciate you for you.
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8500 / F / Apollo...
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Posted 6/6/16
Ask questions. Be random. Be spontaneous.
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23 / M / Abyss
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Posted 6/6/16 , edited 6/6/16

PrinceJudar wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

"i know that friends are temporary"

That's why i probably should be more picky with my friends...i only let the ones who i know won't be temporary for the most part to get to know me the most


It's an inevitable road of disappointment.



I wouldn't say that Judar. I only have 3 friends, but they have stayed with me, through thick and thin for almost 17 years. They saved my ass when I got jumped at school, they backed me up and they gave me home when I was in need of a place to live.

I don't think they will ever betray me, nor will I them.

For OP: You play the pity role a lot. You let your pronouns control you. That is why they will leave you. Grow balls, be social and have fun. You cant keep living in your shell if you want succeed in a social manner.
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16 / F / Always my room
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Posted 6/6/16
I try to bring up topics that the person seems to be interested in, people always have fun talking about what they like.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 6/6/16

Dark_Alma wrote:


PrinceJudar wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

"i know that friends are temporary"

That's why i probably should be more picky with my friends...i only let the ones who i know won't be temporary for the most part to get to know me the most


It's an inevitable road of disappointment.



I wouldn't say that Judar. I only have 3 friends, but they have stayed with me, through thick and thin for almost 17 years. They saved my ass when I got jumped at school, they backed me up and they gave me home when I was in need of a place to live.

I don't think they will ever betray me, nor will I them.

For OP: You play the pity role a lot. You let your pronouns control you. That is why they will leave you. Grow balls, be social and have fun. You cant keep living in your shell if you want succeed in a social manner.


Pronouns?

I am social i'm not sure what you are talking about i talk a lot.

I also have fun all the time i don't live in a shell that would be stupid i talk to people who i don't know a lot.
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Posted 6/6/16 , edited 6/6/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

So multiple people have stopped talking to me lately because im boring and its really just left me depressed and wondering what do you other guys do so you aren't boring?

I don't know what to do apparently being myself bores others


You could be Kevin Hart, Eminem, or even the President and it wouldn't change anything because it boils down to have something in common in conversations.

I doubt it's because your a boring person. You probably just don't relate very well to those people.
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26 / M / Your friendly nei...
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Posted 6/6/16
By being Spider-Man.
Posted 6/6/16
It's a lonely world
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22 / M
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Posted 6/6/16

thekevin4 wrote:

By being Spider-Man.


Clearly the most interesting man in any room is always Spider Man. He has a bipedal rhino and a mechanical octopus as enemies.
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26 / M / Your friendly nei...
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Posted 6/6/16

Phersu wrote:


thekevin4 wrote:

By being Spider-Man.


Clearly the most interesting man in any room is always Spider Man. He has a bipedal rhino and a mechanical octopus as enemies.


^ Phersu gets it
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