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Post Reply Is it wrong to ask if someone changed gender
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Posted 6/9/16
So this thread is inspired by PV's thread here: http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-954835/how-to-tell-transgender-women-and-cisgender-women-apart?pg=0

A person (male or female) has interest in possible starting a relationship with another person they met. Do you consider it wrong if one asks the other if they have always been their current gender or if they have changed genders?

If you say no its not right, what if it is because the person asking is deeply religious and it would violate their personal core beliefs if the person was originally the same sex as them? What if they are looking for a partner to have biological children with? (Has science advanced far enough to put working testicles or ovaries into someone?)

If possible explain either way, this was people can discuss.



To start, I guess if all things are to be equal it shouldn't matter if its asked, because it would just be a preference the same as asking ethnicity or other background questions.
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Posted 6/9/16 , edited 6/9/16
Absolutely not. You and your prospective partner have a right to know so they can make they're own decisions regarding this. It may not be a big deal to one person, but it could be for others. If it is potentially relationship ending, which it is, your partner or yourself have a right to make that decision. Cased closed.
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Posted 6/9/16
Well you can't change your gender seeing as that stuff is all in your head, so I assume you were talking about a sex change. I mean I guess you can, it's not illegal or anything but that's some really personal stuff so you should only be talking about it with people you are very very very very close to, if at all. Remember, most people don't like to talk about their genitals.
Posted 6/9/16
Nope.
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Posted 6/9/16 , edited 6/9/16
I don't think it's wrong to ask if you're going to be in a relationship someone.

However, if they are in fact trans it is very wrong to publicize that information without permission. You don't know the type of people this person has to deal with on a daily basis.
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Posted 6/9/16
You can ask anyone absolutely anything you want to. How they respond on the other hand is entirely up to them.
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20 / M / Imoutoland!
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Posted 6/9/16
If it matters to your partner, than it should matter to you. Even if I don't personally like religion, it is a big deal of some people's live. Lying to your prospective partner in this scenario is wrong. You're relieving them of the autonomy to make their own decisions, which I feel is wrong.
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Posted 6/9/16
Out of curiosity, why would it be wrong? If you're interested in someone because they are presenting themselves as X and you are under the pretenses that X is able to perform Y or because you have Z beliefs. These are beliefs and requirements that belong to the one possessing them. For some people (usually ethnic minorities), there may be the requirement of marrying within the same ethnicity or of someone who has a certain social status (and/or religious belief, that's one I occasionally forget about). And some of these people have cut off romantic relations because these requirements were not met. While others have managed despite this.
Posted 6/9/16
You should be able to ask but they don't have to answer.
That should probably go for most things. Fair?
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Posted 6/9/16
It is within your rights to ask anyone this at any time. I mean, you're kind of a dick if it isn't someone you plan on dating.... but, you can do it.

I can squat and take a crap when and where I feel like it, on my own property. I choose to use the toilet.

The question is extremely relevant if you are planning on being in a relationship. I also feel like it is deceitful for a transsexual to not disclose this information prior to intimate relations. It matters to some people, and they should not be deceived about it.


Posted 6/9/16
I don't think so. I think you have a right to want to know something like that if it bothers you
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Posted 6/9/16
Ah, this is the version with the "polite" title, right?
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Posted 6/9/16
I don't think it's wrong but the timing is important because people develop relationships in different ways. Some meet new people specifically for finding romance, others develop romances from people they have been friends with. Personally it doesn't matter to me, so I would never ask, but the problem with that is it leaves my love interest open to different interpretations of how I feel about him or her. There's a big difference in me knowing, and them knowing if I know.
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Posted 6/9/16

Ejanss wrote:

Ah, this is the version with the "polite" title, right?
You're catching on

qwueri 
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Posted 6/9/16
I don't think that sort of question is relevant until at least after a first date, but good luck phrasing it in a way that doesn't kill the budding relationship on the spot.
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