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Post Reply One thing you thought you could never do...but did
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21 / M / South Florida
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Posted 6/10/16

FlyinDumpling wrote:


ForCom5 wrote:


FlyinDumpling wrote:


ForCom5 wrote:

Quite true, as a job it becomes something different, "work." Ew. Work sucks, but for leisure, it is ohso very enjoyable. I once spent the entire day laying in the grass in Central Park with food and water I brought. It was quite likely one of the most relaxing days of my life.
I work full time and i still think traveling is expensive. Maybe my salary isn't large enough(or i'm not experienced enough?)

But I love the work I do, I don't even mind coming to work early or staying later


Granted, my expenditures are kept really low because I live pretty frugally if I do say so myself. I don't own a car, just a scooter, and will sooner plunk down $100 to travel to NYC than $60 on the newest Call of Duty , but that's just me.
i would say so too.....since I live with my family

A scooter huh....fancy. Next time you visit NYC, I'll make sure to keep an eye out for for a poke ball looking individual with a construction hat riding a scooter


That's Polandball to you good sir.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polandball/top/
Posted 6/10/16
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25 / M / NYC Metro Area
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Posted 6/10/16
Learning another language (Spanish)
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Posted 6/11/16
I used to think that I couldn't disappoint my parents any more than they were. Boy was I wrong.
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Posted 6/11/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


Yume_Mirai wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

attempt suicide last night..trying to crash a car or jump out isn't easy to do when your father is watching you

All i did was wind up in the hospital with my father all night and get reffered to see someone and miss college


oh god.. I hope you're all right. g2g now but talk to me later if you like ill be around. :)


ok and thanks i am just a bit apathetic since i'm worn out ._. i could have killed my father so i feel horrible doctors think something is wrong with my medication causing me to be unbalanced so i guess i have to wait to find out.


Was there a reason besides bad medication?
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Posted 6/11/16

Sir_jamesalot wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


Yume_Mirai wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

attempt suicide last night..trying to crash a car or jump out isn't easy to do when your father is watching you

All i did was wind up in the hospital with my father all night and get reffered to see someone and miss college


oh god.. I hope you're all right. g2g now but talk to me later if you like ill be around. :)


ok and thanks i am just a bit apathetic since i'm worn out ._. i could have killed my father so i feel horrible doctors think something is wrong with my medication causing me to be unbalanced so i guess i have to wait to find out.


Was there a reason besides bad medication?


Mostly stress that has accumulated over 6 years i only have one outlet of stress and that is eating and drinking so i have gone from a skinny young teenager to an overweight adult.

Tons of therapy and other stuff and i only have one coping method.

It relieves stress but the stress incoming and being bottled up inside is far more then the stress being relieved.

since this year started i have gone from drinking little to drinking a litre of cola a day and my whole body shakes 24/7 and i lash out at people i can only assume it will get worse and that my medication has a little to do with it but not alot.


Not much i can do either i kill myself from obesity by trying to stay sane or i give in to my stress and hurt someone i love.
I have explained that to psychologists i goto and i have accepted that hurting myself is better then hurting others.

Keeping me alive feels like torture but everyone reckons it will go away someday so i can only hope.

Start of this year my personality started splitting and i started seeing things in the distance so...that's not something i look foward to seeing progress.
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Posted 6/11/16
Starting to make my own business.
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Posted 6/11/16 , edited 6/11/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

Mostly stress that has accumulated over 6 years i only have one outlet of stress and that is eating and drinking so i have gone from a skinny young teenager to an overweight adult.

Tons of therapy and other stuff and i only have one coping method.

It relieves stress but the stress incoming and being bottled up inside is far more then the stress being relieved.

since this year started i have gone from drinking little to drinking a litre of cola a day and my whole body shakes 24/7 and i lash out at people i can only assume it will get worse and that my medication has a little to do with it but not alot.


Not much i can do either i kill myself from obesity by trying to stay sane or i give in to my stress and hurt someone i love.
I have explained that to psychologists i goto and i have accepted that hurting myself is better then hurting others.

Keeping me alive feels like torture but everyone reckons it will go away someday so i can only hope.

Start of this year my personality started splitting and i started seeing things in the distance so...that's not something i look foward to seeing progress.


I don't believe you're limited to one of two options and it sounds like your coping method is making you feel worse.
Your doctors, friends and family haven't given up on you, I don't think you should either.
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Posted 6/11/16

Sir_jamesalot wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

Mostly stress that has accumulated over 6 years i only have one outlet of stress and that is eating and drinking so i have gone from a skinny young teenager to an overweight adult.

Tons of therapy and other stuff and i only have one coping method.

It relieves stress but the stress incoming and being bottled up inside is far more then the stress being relieved.

since this year started i have gone from drinking little to drinking a litre of cola a day and my whole body shakes 24/7 and i lash out at people i can only assume it will get worse and that my medication has a little to do with it but not alot.


Not much i can do either i kill myself from obesity by trying to stay sane or i give in to my stress and hurt someone i love.
I have explained that to psychologists i goto and i have accepted that hurting myself is better then hurting others.

Keeping me alive feels like torture but everyone reckons it will go away someday so i can only hope.

Start of this year my personality started splitting and i started seeing things in the distance so...that's not something i look foward to seeing progress.


I don't believe you're limited to one of two options and it sounds like your coping method is making you feel worse.
Your doctors, friends and family haven't given up on you, I don't think you should either.


Im trying not to and i try to find new coping methods but i haven't found any in years the last one i had that worked well was a person and she is gone from my life.

I look for new coping methods all the time and i try not to give up but it's hard at times.
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Posted 6/11/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

Im trying not to and i try to find new coping methods but i haven't found any in years the last one i had that worked well was a person and she is gone from my life.

I look for new coping methods all the time and i try not to give up but it's hard at times.


I got the impression the person you're speaking of was a terrible person and what made her good was you, your attitude and the person she was in your eyes.
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Posted 6/11/16

Sir_jamesalot wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

Im trying not to and i try to find new coping methods but i haven't found any in years the last one i had that worked well was a person and she is gone from my life.

I look for new coping methods all the time and i try not to give up but it's hard at times.


I got the impression the person you're speaking of was a terrible person and what made her good was you, your attitude and the person she was in your eyes.


The person i with was toxic but it was a toxic relationship that let me cope.
I have always been someone who works best and functions best when in a relationship so that is one of my coping methods.

That being said i would rather find another and learn to cope with said new method before someone gets stuck with me
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Posted 6/11/16 , edited 6/11/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


Sir_jamesalot wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

Im trying not to and i try to find new coping methods but i haven't found any in years the last one i had that worked well was a person and she is gone from my life.

I look for new coping methods all the time and i try not to give up but it's hard at times.


I got the impression the person you're speaking of was a terrible person and what made her good was you, your attitude and the person she was in your eyes.


The person i with was toxic but it was a toxic relationship that let me cope.
I have always been someone who works best and functions best when in a relationship so that is one of my coping methods.

That being said i would rather find another and learn to cope with said new method before someone gets stuck with me


It's probably healthier and kinder to them to not be dependant if you can help it. But don't fall into the trap of feeling like you're "never enough" because people aren't enough, satisfaction and contentment comes from within and would be just an unfair of them to need stability from you.
Not that it's a bad thing to be able to provide.
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Posted 6/11/16

Sir_jamesalot wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


Sir_jamesalot wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:

Im trying not to and i try to find new coping methods but i haven't found any in years the last one i had that worked well was a person and she is gone from my life.

I look for new coping methods all the time and i try not to give up but it's hard at times.


I got the impression the person you're speaking of was a terrible person and what made her good was you, your attitude and the person she was in your eyes.


The person i with was toxic but it was a toxic relationship that let me cope.
I have always been someone who works best and functions best when in a relationship so that is one of my coping methods.

That being said i would rather find another and learn to cope with said new method before someone gets stuck with me


It's probably healthier and kinder to them to not be dependant if you can help it. But don't fall into the trap of feeling like you're "never enough" because people aren't enough, satisfaction and contentment comes from within and would be just an unfair of them to need stability from you.
Not that it's a bad thing to be able to provide.


That's true that being said the person I like is a lot like me in that way so I imagine that would turn out weird if anything happened of it but I'm always goingn to be looking for new methods to cope
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Posted 6/11/16

Ryanku wrote:

I never thought I'd be able to play any crazy looking beatmaps on osu!, but after a while it's like second nature.


This. Although my accuracy is still garbage and I combo break at least 7 times. I can beat 5 star maps though so NO COMPLAINTS.... Ya I'm bad at this game.
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Posted 6/11/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

since this year started i have gone from drinking little to drinking a litre of cola a day and my whole body shakes 24/7 and i lash out at people i can only assume it will get worse and that my medication has a little to do with it but not alot.


Not much i can do either i kill myself from obesity by trying to stay sane or i give in to my stress and hurt someone i love.
I have explained that to psychologists i goto and i have accepted that hurting myself is better then hurting others.


A thought occurs, is the unhealthy diet another form of gradual suicide?
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