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Do you feel safe and secure in a clique or are you laid back? A matter of perspective? Thoughts?
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 6/11/16
Both? If I have friends, I hang with them. If I don't, I don't. By coincidence, they may consist of an entire "clique." It's not something I pay much attention to, and I try not to look down on people who follow a different approach. I don't think people are in any way "special" for how they choose socialize.
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19 / M / Ohio
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Posted 6/11/16
Do not feel safe in any clique, Being kicked around and migrating "Cliques" plenty in high school changed my perspective on how people that act like ____ are, Much prefer the few friends I have and not staying in any clique. Also no one in my area shares any of the same interests, they are all sports nuts or country bumpkins. very difficult to find a clique I could adapt to. Hoping college is much more kinder in the clique area. If not I can always stick to only associating with internet friends like now
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18 / F / Philippines
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Posted 6/12/16
my bestfriends and i have been together since the 5th grade
and i only hang out with them bc they're the only ones who can tolerate me and they're the only ones i can tolerate = v=
Posted 6/12/16

couvier wrote:

my bestfriends and i have been together since the 5th grade
and i only hang out with them bc they're the only ones who can tolerate me and they're the only ones i can tolerate = v=


But why can nobody else tolerate you? you know this, how? Any reason in particular? Also, how do you know they are the only ones who can tolerate you when the only excuse you can muster for not leaving your comfort zone is "they are the only ones I can tolerate"? Okay, it sounds like you look for and value intimacy from people you can rely upon, but its fragile and guarded. One could wonder who envied "best friends" after they discovered how much work must go into keeping such a delicate and fragile thing as this ideology intact when they could just be casual with just "friends" and have as much happiness without the need for such longings of intimacy. I get that at home in the bedroom.

There are so many things that aren't right or wrong but are subjective, and hope to gain a better understanding of, including human social preferences. Thank you for this, its one more opinion to think about.






Posted 6/12/16

aeb0717 wrote:

Both? If I have friends, I hang with them. If I don't, I don't. By coincidence, they may consist of an entire "clique." It's not something I pay much attention to, and I try not to look down on people who follow a different approach. I don't think people are in any way "special" for how they choose socialize.


Just wishing to understand something I don't and get feedback on something I percieve as rigid. I don't condemn it - I don't understand it.
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18 / F / Philippines
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Posted 6/12/16

Yume_Mirai wrote:

But why can nobody else tolerate you? you know this, how? Any reason in particular? Also, how do you know they are the only ones who can tolerate you when the only excuse you can muster for not leaving your comfort zone is "they are the only ones I can tolerate"? Okay, it sounds like you look for and value intimacy from people you can rely upon, but its fragile and guarded. One could wonder who envied "best friends" after they discovered how much work must go into keeping such a delicate and fragile thing as this ideology intact when they could just be casual with just "friends" and have as much happiness without the need for such longings of intimacy. I get that at home in the bedroom.

There are so many things that aren't right or wrong but are subjective, and hope to gain a better understanding of, including human social preferences. Thank you for this, its one more opinion to think about.



don't get me wrong. it's not like I push other people away because I already have my bestfriends. of course I do hang try to hang out with other people, especially now we all took different majors in college- we can't spend as much time as we used to back then. I say nobody else can tolerate me because almost all of the "friends" i have in college dont seem to understand my personality and the type of humor i have, and what not. (some even talk about me behind my back while acting nice when in front of me) at the same time, I am way too picky with the people I associate myself with. I don't go with people I can't seem to agree with. I have classmates whom I find obnoxious and I tend to avoid having classes with them. This may come out as selfish and you might say "not all people are bad, you should give them a chance." Well I did give people a chance and I was disappointed, however I do still welcome people to be friends with me. I am not really a social person, esp in real life- you can never get anything from me unless you initiate our conversation; but whenever a stranger puts up that effort of talking to me I do reciprocate and try to get along with them.
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Posted 6/12/16 , edited 6/12/16
I used to be part of a big circle. I have been in a "crew" and i used to put in effort to be "down" with alot of people and be somewhat connected and reach out and etc
I even been in a gaming clan aswell! lol

But now a days my cirlce is small. And yes, trust is a mother fucker. It's funny because all these years, all the rap music i been listening to has been telling to "trust no one" yet i was nice and trusted people and you do or will get burnt.

When you get older and wiser (well also lazier and more tired and impatient and less tolerant and forgiving and etc) you tend to not have time for peoples bullshit.
Whether it be helping people out, lending money, hanging out for the sake of hanging out and staying in touch almost out of obligation or sentiment or reputation/image, you just get to the point where you realize who you're real friends are and you dont care about what other people think.
You move on from the shit cunts and some of them move on from you.

I've always been laid back though. When i was part of a "clique' and when i was part of a much smaller group.
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Posted 6/12/16
I always hanged out with this group of friends because I knew them the most, some of them were my childhood friends. The worst thing about close groups is that when you stop being friends with one, suddenly the whole groups stops being friends with you.

oh well
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F / Boston-ish
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Posted 6/13/16
Closed because OP nuked.
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