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Post Reply Why do people hate clingy people.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 6/12/16
Legitimately curious as I have always found clingyness to be highly attractive in a relationship and even friendships.

I had dated some people who were clingy to the point most normal people would ask if they had problems.


I don't understand why people hate it I mean the idea of having a friend or partner that wants to be next to you 24/7 is amazing in thought and practice.

Maybe I'm the odd one out here but I never can understand people who want alone time in fact I hate alone time.

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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 6/12/16 , edited 6/12/16
Probably the same reason the shop stocks more than one type of tea.
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AKR
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Posted 6/12/16
I love clingy people!

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27 / F / England
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Posted 6/12/16
It depends on what you mean by clingy. I've had boyfriends who would quite happily see me every day, and others who'd be fine with once a week. People are different.
My issue has been in the past that if I've been seeing a lot of a partner and then decide I'd like some alone time - or just to hang out with friends etc - they can get very upset, or worse, suspicious. You don't enjoy an evening alone if you're being bombarded with messages, nor an evening with friends. I've got one friend, who will no longer spend the night away from home, because she doesn't want her fiancée to sleep alone. That just baffles me, because they've got their whole lives to sleep in the same bed.
If you have a clingy partner, it can also make you think twice about leaving them alone, or doing anything for yourself (either because you feel guilty, or because the drama that will ensue is too great to want to deal with)- which then means you resent them.

Clingy is fine if your partner enjoys it...but know when to let go.
Posted 6/12/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

Legitimately curious as I have always found clingyness to be highly attractive in a relationship and even friendships.

I had dated some people who were clingy to the point most normal people would ask if they had problems.


I don't understand why people hate it I mean the idea of having a friend or partner that wants to be next to you 24/7 is amazing in thought and practice.

Maybe I'm the odd one out here but I never can understand people who want alone time in fact I hate alone time.



I don't mind it but don't suffocate me. Some people have been really clingy with me in a none sexual way but they are so clingy that make me feel like I being suffocated.
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20 / M / Finland
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Posted 6/12/16 , edited 6/12/16
Because my mind and body literally can't take talking to you 24/7. I have limits to the amount of social interaction I can do in a day, and it's pretty low. Push me to interact and I'll become anxious which will just result in even more fatigue.

Clingy doesn't equal loyal or loving. In fact a clingy person is much more likely to throw me the fuck out when I can't satisfy the absurd social needs.
Independent but still loving and loyal? Great.
Clingy? No thanks.

Alone time is my way of resting, my body needs it, my mind needs it.
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27 / M / England, Kent, Wh...
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Posted 6/12/16
Haha! I think it can depend on what clinginess can bring also. My first serious girlfriend was really clingy, to the point where she didn't trust me out with other people. Always wanted to know where I was and what I'm doing and who I'm with. *scared*
And those circumstances especially demand space.

But clinginess is pretty cute, as some have already said. Maybe in moderation :p
Posted 6/12/16


Shouldn't depend on others too much. Space is sacred to some people and constantly needing attention might drain them. It's just being considerate to those who aren't comfortable with that type of constant emotional drain.

Some people need space to think to themselves and like alone time. Nothing wrong with that.
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Posted 6/12/16
At some point you just grow tired of each other and need some time apart, be it an evening, a few days or weeks. Clingly people sabotage their own relationships by not taking enough time for themselves and being around their SO, thus falling out of love themselves if the partner doesn't grow tired of it first. I've been on both sides.
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Posted 6/12/16
Clinginess tends to cause various problems to the one being clung to. Believe it or not, there are people who would rather relax than deal with the moronic problems of some other people.

The type of people who can't stand alone time are probably in the same boat as clingy people. Not spending time to think about your life is a luxury that costs a variety of life stuff.

I don't like being alone myself, but I really needed to deal with that in order to realize how much of a bad influence I was on other people and what I needed to do for the future. So far things look kinda interesting; I finally realized the TRUE wonders of anime, for example.
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37 / M / Virginia USA
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Posted 6/12/16
Not me. Glomp all you want
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AHTL 
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27 / Norway
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Posted 6/12/16
Clingy to me is someone who constantly needs emotional support from whoever they decide to latch on to. So if you decide you need some breathing room, it will be near hopeless and the clingy person will be really down if you do manage to get a little breathing room.


I just see it as someone who is really emotionally fragile in the end, and when you're both adults I don't see the appeal in having to "baby-sit" someone's emotions.
VeggyZ 
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Posted 6/12/16
Some people are just not used to that closeness. I didn't get so much as a hug growing up, from anyone but maybe my mother when I was young, so someone hanging on me is just... it's ok, and I do like it in moderation. I am definitely not "comfortable" with the physical aspect as much.

Being too dependent is a bad thing too, but I understand it. I know why people get that way but I also feel like it should be reserved for time/place. Sometimes to get through the day you have to be tough, so having an instant barrier like that is not a healthy thing, it won't always be there.

It is endearing though, when behind closed doors. Time and place...
Posted 6/12/16
If all you have are superficial connections with people, because you avoid letting people in, albeit unknowingly, in fear of being hurt, then you're going to be annoyed by people real quick, and depending on the severity of your emotional issues, you might rationalize so as to continue as you were, and perhaps worsening your state, by barring yourself, and preferring escapism above all else (anime, anyone?). Depending on where you're at in life, and where you're headed, you might eventually find out what it's like to be the clingy one; the one whose failed attempt at letting someone in has left them all the more broken, and in pain.

Ah, psychology, I remember a time when it was so much fun. Now, it's barren of prospects.
VeggyZ 
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Posted 6/12/16

Hrafna wrote:

If all you have are superficial connections with people, because you avoid letting people in, albeit unknowingly, in fear of being hurt, then you're going to be annoyed by people real quick, and depending on the severity of your emotional issues, you might rationalize so as to continue as you were, and perhaps worsening your state, by barring yourself, and preferring escapism above all else (anime, anyone?). Depending on where you're at in life, and where you're headed, you might eventually find out what it's like to be the clingy one; the one whose failed attempt at letting someone in has left them all the more broken, and in pain.

Ah, psychology, I remember a time when it was so much fun. Now, it's barren of prospects.


Extremism either way doesn't seem all that healthy. I can relate though, as in my first relationship I was the clingy one. It was a mistake and it ruined things. Had I hit the other end of that spectrum I feel it would have ended the same way.
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