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Post Reply Why do people hate clingy people.
VeggyZ 
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31 / M / North Dakota
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Posted 6/13/16 , edited 6/13/16

pmjgoux wrote:

Theres a difference between someone who is genuinely interested in spending time with you and someone who is dependant on you. I think the word clingy is supposed to mean the latter, and generaly this is a bother because it means that the individual is not capable of living life on their own to begin with, which causes problems in the relationship because they become an emotional and perhaps financial drain on their partner.

For relationships to work, both have to be happy with the level of interactions they require from each other, otherwise it won't work. But one has to be careful as people do not advertise attachement disorders they may have before commiting to a relationship. For more on attachement disorders and characteristics and traits of people who have them a google search will be helpful.

Sometimes I see a relationship like getting a pet. Sometimes you get a dog, which requires a lot of care and attention sometimes you get a goldfish which requires hardly any at all. You have to know what kind of pet you want first and what kind of pet your prospective other is.


I kinda like that comparison, but at least with pets you can tell what you're getting from the get-go.

This is why I've been looking for a real life cat-girl. ^_^
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 6/13/16

goku8399 wrote:

because it gets creepy really fast.


It's only creepy if they stalk you...which borderlines creepy and romantic if they are dating you...i guess
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AKR
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Posted 6/13/16
Searched 'clingy' on Googol img, found this gem:



Is it something i am missing here?

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Posted 6/13/16
Because....they're clingy? I also think it can be really cute but at some point it can cross the line and become obnoxious and annoying. I really don't think it's very healthy for anyone to be too clingy nor is it healthy to be the person that they're clinging too. You want someone who's equally powerful, self sufficient and has confidence on their own. There's nothing wrong with leaning on other people and supporting each other but co-dependent relationships usually don't work very well. Not only is it bad for the person who's clinging but it's also bad for the person who feels like they "are in charge". No one person should have all the power in a relationship. It's a partnership and each person should be equally as powerful on their own or together.

When being clingy is cute:
During a thunderstorm
At a scary movie
Cuddling at night.
While sharing something important like good memories, looking at photo's, etc.

When it's not so cute:
At a business meeting
Going out for dinner
At the relatives.
At the beach if it's super hot. Not so bad if it's cold. Body warmth and all that.
While I'm petting the cats. They're clingy too and I don't want you'll fighting.

I just don't think it's really good for someone to be that dependent on someone else. I wouldn't mind being with a clingy woman but I would probably have to try really hard to help instill some self confidence in her if she lacked it. Lord knows I have my own confidence issues but I'm really good at faking it and can fake it to the point where I actually become more confident with time at whatever I'm doing. I don't want her to not be able to stand on her own. If I loved someone I'd want them to be the best them they could be and I would not want that sort of possessive power over someone else.
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Posted 6/13/16

TheOriginalStraynge wrote:

Because....they're clingy? I also think it can be really cute but at some point it can cross the line and become obnoxious and annoying. I really don't think it's very healthy for anyone to be too clingy nor is it healthy to be the person that they're clinging too. You want someone who's equally powerful, self sufficient and has confidence on their own. There's nothing wrong with leaning on other people and supporting each other but co-dependent relationships usually don't work very well. Not only is it bad for the person who's clinging but it's also bad for the person who feels like they "are in charge". No one person should have all the power in a relationship. It's a partnership and each person should be equally as powerful on their own or together.

When being clingy is cute:
During a thunderstorm
At a scary movie
Cuddling at night.
While sharing something important like good memories, looking at photo's, etc.

When it's not so cute:
At a business meeting
Going out for dinner
At the relatives.
At the beach if it's super hot. Not so bad if it's cold. Body warmth and all that.
While I'm petting the cats. They're clingy too and I don't want you'll fighting.

I just don't think it's really good for someone to be that dependent on someone else. I wouldn't mind being with a clingy woman but I would probably have to try really hard to help instill some self confidence in her if she lacked it. Lord knows I have my own confidence issues but I'm really good at faking it and can fake it to the point where I actually become more confident with time at whatever I'm doing. I don't want her to not be able to stand on her own. If I loved someone I'd want them to be the best them they could be and I would not want that sort of possessive power over someone else.


True but some people are never good enough on there own is it wrong for them to still go into a relationship despite them needing to have someone to rely on.

I don't think so I think saying you can't be in one because you are the way you are is bad.

Co-dependence rarely does work but it can work both people need to try hard.


I know personally I struggle with life and am unhappy unless I have a partner I can only flourish and become great when I have someone beside me and no matter how much I want that to change its who I am and will always be.

It's the same way for those people who cling
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Posted 6/13/16 , edited 6/13/16
...so much therapy needed by this thread... Relationship counselors rejoice for there is danegeld aplenty out there.
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25 / F / US
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Posted 6/13/16

Nothing wrong with it, unless it's extreme. Like "You didn't text me back in five minutes, so something must be wrong."
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18 / M / California
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Posted 6/13/16 , edited 6/13/16
Oh, I gotta find a pic a friend of a friend posted on fb, I got this guys.

Edit: Couldn't find it, so I don't got you guise I'll try to name off what this dumbass posted as her "rules" for her relationship. On another note, I feel like once someone starts to become EXTREMELY clingy they'll edge more towards trying to be controlling as well. Anyways, here's some of the really clingy shit rules.

-If you don't text back within 5-10min, I'll assume you're cheating and guess what, you'll be single
-The ONLY girl you can text besides me is your mother
-If you're going on vacation without me, think again, unless you want me to fuck one of your cousins or best friends while you're gone
-No female friends
-You can't hang out with any of your friends if there's a female around
-You're going to have to facetime me everywhere you go, if I don't like where you are you're coming back home with me right away
-You can't have your friends take me anywhere without me

There was a lot more cause there was like 5 or 6pics of just "rules" but whatever.
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F
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Posted 6/13/16
I don't mind clingy people
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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 6/13/16

TrickedMJ wrote:

Oh, I gotta find a pic a friend of a friend posted on fb, I got this guys.

Edit: Couldn't find it, so I don't got you guise I'll try to name off what this dumbass posted as her "rules" for her relationship. On another note, I feel like once someone starts to become EXTREMELY clingy they'll edge more towards trying to be controlling as well. Anyways, here's some of the really clingy shit rules.

-If you don't text back within 5-10min, I'll assume you're cheating and guess what, you'll be single
-The ONLY girl you can text besides me is your mother
-If you're going on vacation without me, think again, unless you want me to fuck one of your cousins or best friends while you're gone
-No female friends
-You can't hang out with any of your friends if there's a female around
-You're going to have to facetime me everywhere you go, if I don't like where you are you're coming back home with me right away
-You can't have your friends take me anywhere without me

There was a lot more cause there was like 5 or 6pics of just "rules" but whatever.


you know those rules I can actually do easily, since I don't really have many friends.

the only one that would be hard is text back within 5-10min, make it like 30 - 60min and we good.
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18 / M / California
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Posted 6/13/16

pandrasb wrote:


TrickedMJ wrote:

Oh, I gotta find a pic a friend of a friend posted on fb, I got this guys.

Edit: Couldn't find it, so I don't got you guise I'll try to name off what this dumbass posted as her "rules" for her relationship. On another note, I feel like once someone starts to become EXTREMELY clingy they'll edge more towards trying to be controlling as well. Anyways, here's some of the really clingy shit rules.

-If you don't text back within 5-10min, I'll assume you're cheating and guess what, you'll be single
-The ONLY girl you can text besides me is your mother
-If you're going on vacation without me, think again, unless you want me to fuck one of your cousins or best friends while you're gone
-No female friends
-You can't hang out with any of your friends if there's a female around
-You're going to have to facetime me everywhere you go, if I don't like where you are you're coming back home with me right away
-You can't have your friends take me anywhere without me

There was a lot more cause there was like 5 or 6pics of just "rules" but whatever.


you know those rules I can actually do easily, since I don't really have many friends.

the only one that would be hard is text back within 5-10min, make it like 30 - 60min and we good.


Not sure if that makes you lucky or unlucky. I could never do that shit lol. For example, this weekend one my best friends is having a graduation party, I'm going there and there's definitely going to be females and my other really close/best friends, I'm definitely not gonna reply to every text right away lol and I definitely wouldn't waste my time facetiming the whole party.
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Posted 6/13/16

TrickedMJ wrote:

Not sure if that makes you lucky or unlucky. I could never do that shit lol. For example, this weekend one my best friends is having a graduation party, I'm going there and there's definitely going to be females and my other really close/best friends, I'm definitely not gonna reply to every text right away lol and I definitely wouldn't waste my time facetiming the whole party.


mostly unlucky if it wasn't for Serenity_midnight I'd be super lonely.

So I wouldn't mind a clinger at all.
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26 / M / ミルウォーキー
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Posted 6/13/16
Rena pun is funny
Posted 6/13/16
damn I gonna run
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18 / M / California
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Posted 6/13/16

pandrasb wrote:


TrickedMJ wrote:

Not sure if that makes you lucky or unlucky. I could never do that shit lol. For example, this weekend one my best friends is having a graduation party, I'm going there and there's definitely going to be females and my other really close/best friends, I'm definitely not gonna reply to every text right away lol and I definitely wouldn't waste my time facetiming the whole party.


mostly unlucky if it wasn't for Serenity_midnight I'd be super lonely.

So I wouldn't mind a clinger at all.


Well at least you have someone there for you, it's even better considering that person is the reason you're not super lonely ya know?
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