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Post Reply Are people with low self esteem a little bit selfish?
Posted 6/12/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


Maid4U wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


Maid4U wrote:

As soon as you learn you can't please everyone and learn to not care about the opinions of idiots you'll quickly find you have way less issues.


I wish that it was that easy.


I used to care what everyone thought it was torture I was heading in a bad direction living based on what others wanted and not myself then I wised up blocked out everything finally found myself and what I wanted and never looked back.


When did you decide to wise up?


About 6 months ago I used to put everyone's feelings and opinions over my own now that doesn't happen if someone as an issue instead of worrying over it I accept its their problem not mine.
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Posted 6/12/16


That's good.
VeggyZ 
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Posted 6/12/16 , edited 6/12/16
Having low self esteem doesn't have anything to do with being selfish. It isn't about needing acceptance or validation, it's about not believing in yourself. It's often the result of getting the OPPOSITE of acceptance or validation for too long.

I was always told I wasn't good enough, I wouldn't have friends, I'd fail at everything and I'd die alone. I was told it because some people thought it was really genuinely funny, so I didn't have any self esteem for most of my life. It all changed on a psychedelic trip one day, but I think that story should not be told here, at least not now haha.

I was forced to come upon the realization that I am and always have been better than almost ALL of those people who went out of their way to convince me that I was below them. Our every action throughout our lives, my motivation versus theirs, and the outcome - when you are deep into a psychedelic trip you think about a lot, and I thought about it all and realized they were, most likely, afraid of me because I didn't act like a buffoon from the start. When I was a kid, I was too concerned with correcting the things that were supposedly wrong with me to realize they weren't what was wrong with me at all.

I didn't need validation, but it would have made me go a LOT easier on myself. I don't think they're selfish at all, they're most likely used and thrown away like trash 100x over, and a little too nice about it. Sometimes you need to get fed up.
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Posted 6/12/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


Maid4U wrote:

As soon as you learn you can't please everyone and learn to not care about the opinions of idiots you'll quickly find you have way less issues.


I wish that it was that easy.

It basically is that easy, or "simple," if you want to be more precise. A lot of it is just learning to not give a crap what people who really don't matter think.

I wouldn't really call people with low self-esteem selfish unless they're the sort who are always fishing for compliments, or looking for other people to reaffirm how wonderful they are.

Just like pretty much every human being ever, I went through a period of low self-esteem in middle school or early high school. By the end of high school, and particularly college, I'd learned not to care so much about what people think unless they're someone whose opinion actually matters to me, and it's only gotten easier as I've gotten older.

For me, narcissism (even jokingly) also helped. Just joking about how awesome, perfect, handsome, etc. I am (though it's all true, naturally) helped me establish more confidence in myself.

You might say I overdid it, I would say you're wrong.
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Posted 6/12/16
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 6/12/16


You're lucky. I think people who are able to get over their low self esteem are lucky.
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Posted 6/14/16
That something we cannot control! I wanted to be liked by everyone.. (Friends with everyone) But realizing that not possible.. There alway someone jealous of you, hated you and you'll never know why they're like that! :(

Even Jesus Christ himself have enemies (The Jews) Didn't knowledge him as a God's Son..

Don't let it bother you.. You can alway treat them with respects (by following Jesus Christ's example) :).
Posted 6/14/16
Are people selfish? Are people with low self-esteem selfish? Are people with high self-esteem selfish? Are people overgeneralizing selfish? Is stupidity selfish?
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Posted 6/19/16
It depends. From my experience, people who have low self esteem try to make themselves the victim all the time.Which to me is selfish. Others because they are self conscious of their body. Which can be selfish and not.
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Posted 6/20/16
I used to have low self esteem but i was never selfish. if anything i was the opposite.
Having low self esteem and being nice and unselfish sure did make me a bloody weak person. But it seemed to make me liked also somehow?
I would worry about others too much, not sure if that was tied to or related to the low self esteem or not though?
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Posted 6/20/16
If you set your own standards, you're still being selfish.
I think selfishness and any sort of self esteem are separate and for as long as you are self aware, you're selfish in your own way.
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23 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 6/20/16
Not always. My self esteem is almost zero yet I'm one of the most selfless people you'll ever meet, even though inside I absolutely despise every living human being.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 6/20/16
i accepted myself as worthless c:
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Posted 6/20/16 , edited 6/20/16
I think my Father was, Since he spend half of his life in Prison that he alway drunk and mean as hell.. That I was told the reason he like that is because he jealous of my Sisters and I not having Bad Record..

Once you have record it'll be hard for you to have job.

Of course for me my record are clean as whistles and I have lot of health problem that prevent me from getting body work job. That why I got into computers and got job at court house but got burnt out.. -shrugs-
Posted 6/20/16


Nothing wrong with being a people pleaser.
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