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Post Reply How to properly show in your novels rather than tell?
10361 cr points
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23 / M / California
Posted 6/28/16
I'd say inject some imagery into that first bit to give us some context to the protagonists dialogue. Can she see? Can she move? Is the meeting with the man a sunlit rendezvous and a kindly silhouette ushering her on her way? Does she wake blindly writhing against leather bindings in a room flooded with the growing echo of foot steps?

We need to jump into her head has soon as she gains consciousness, and that will make your story hit like a truck.
2904 cr points
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Posted 6/29/16
You can try replacing abstract descriptions with more tangible imagery by a) using metaphors and similes
b) using all five senses to describe a scene (I think taste and smell tend to be most effective in making something feel more real)
c) replacing an adjective to describe a character with their actions, tone of voice, gestures, reactions, and choice of words in dialogue instead

The best way to understand the concept of showing vs telling is by studying novels written by your favorite authors and noticing the way they describe a scene or introduce a new character.
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