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Post Reply Does this sound like a good enough plot?
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Posted 6/23/16

DViper15 wrote:


sundin13 wrote:

I don't really think there is enough there to say "yes, this has potential" or "no, this doesn't have potential". What I will say though, is that I don't think fantasy babble is fun to read. Sometimes you need to make up a term or use proper nouns or whatnot, but when half of your plot summary consists of words you made up, I don't think that is really a good thing.


I do not consider this babble. Many of these words are actually real and a quick online search can reveal so. Promethean, Acropolis and Neo-Sapien are actual terms. Even in the case of Theonatus and Deonids, a simple word rooting can allow the reader to understand the meaning.

The words I used in my story... now those are babble. Alakin, Latimian, Gother, Zahati, Alatera, Vyan and Teheran have meaning only for me.


While they are "real terms", they are still unique definitions of those terms. For example, what is a Promethean in this context? Does it mean someone who is "life-bringing, creative, or courageously original"? Probably not. Its more likely it means some future divergence of the human race, or potentially an alien humanoid species. Also, I didn't even realize the setting was a respelling of Acropolis...

But that wasn't really what I was trying to get across (admittedly, I did this quite badly). My issue wasn't so much with using made up words (or made up definitions), it was with the plot summary being so jam packed with them. It seemed like it was trying to introduce ideas, and jam all of those things in there when it wasn't really necessary instead of giving a concrete handle on the plot. It doesn't feel like a plot and it doesn't really do much to actually tell me about the story.

Also, I consider made up words to be more of a necessary evil than anything. I think they should be used sparingly, and only when necessary, because as a reader, if I see a sentence jam packed with them, or if I am introduced to them too quickly for them to actually take on a meaning, they just pass through one ear and out the other. I think I said this to you on your story, but if you are using made up words, you as the author need to take tremendous care to make them mean something to the reader in a way you really don't have to with words that already exist. While you do have a bit of a head start if the word is based on something that already exists, the same principle still applies.
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Posted 6/23/16




In my story Prometheans are just human beings.
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Posted 6/23/16 , edited 6/23/16

qualeshia3 wrote:

In my story Prometheans are just human beings.


So when two humans make a baby, that baby isn't a human but instead an "Anti Sapien"? How exactly does the species continue if they can't actually reproduce? Or are "Anti-Sapien"s, just also humans? And then what are "Neo-Sapiens"? I assume that that is supposed to mean "New human", but what does that mean (or is that even what it is supposed to mean)? Do they just never reproduce? Or do the babies have very low viability? Why have they only reproduced 10 times?

Also, since I'm asking, what is Terris Genesis? "Terra" is a fairly common renaming of the Earth, so is this the beginning of Earth (Earth genesis)? Or is this some new earth? Or is this just another name for earth?
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Posted 6/23/16


Alright, I will admit that for me this came across quite clear, but then again I did have some context to back it up. In any case, I do see your point and can understand that the terminology may not have such an obvious significance for everyone. The plot seems fairly clean to me; perhaps changing those terms into descriptions may prove pertinent.
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Posted 6/23/16

DViper15 wrote:
Alright, I will admit that for me this came across quite clear, but then again I did have some context to back it up. In any case, I do see your point and can understand that the terminology may not have such an obvious significance for everyone. The plot seems fairly clean to me; perhaps changing those terms into descriptions may prove pertinent.


Admittedly, part of it is my seething hatred of back-of-the-book plot summaries. They always sound like garbage and I don't think there is much that can be done to fix that.
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Posted 6/23/16

sundin13 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

In my story Prometheans are just human beings.


So when two humans make a baby, that baby isn't a human but instead an "Anti Sapien"? How exactly does the species continue if they can't actually reproduce? Or are "Anti-Sapien"s, just also humans? And then what are "Neo-Sapiens"? I assume that that is supposed to mean "New human", but what does that mean (or is that even what it is supposed to mean)? Do they just never reproduce? Or do the babies have very low viability? Why have they only reproduced 10 times?

Also, since I'm asking, what is Terris Genesis? "Terra" is a fairly common renaming of the Earth, so is this the beginning of Earth (Earth genesis)? Or is this some new earth? Or is this just another name for earth?



In my story, something happen that caused the humans to give birth to Anti-Sapiens.. Nobody knows why Anti-sapiens are born from humans but they are very rare. Anti-Sapiens are pretty much Neo-Sapiens born with white hair, red eyes, sickly pale skin, and immortality. The same thing happen to the Neo-Sapiens who are humans with psychic power and immortality. The different with Anti-Sapiens is that they can't reproduce. Humans still give birth to humans but it's rare and deemed impossible for humans to give birth to an Anti-Sapien. Neo-Sapiens were human but when they got injected with a serum they became immortal and have psychic powers. It's also rare and impossible for two Neo-Sapiens to give birth to a Deonid(god). Something strange is happening in the world that is affecting pregnancy and nobody knows why.



Terris-Genesis is the name of an island nation where the Grand Imperial Family lives.
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Posted 6/24/16
It no longer matters because I've decided not to write that story. I plan on writing a totally new story if only I could come up with a plot for it.
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