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Cutting off contact with best friend?
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32 / F / Texas
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Posted 6/28/16
Sometimes you have to bluntly tell them how you feel... Some people just don't have the innate ability to "take a hint".

I choose one to completely cut ties to a best friend without exchanging words why. It even got to a point where I didn't participate in a very important event that took place in their life! It became very tense and made me very paranoid! Eventually, we discussed it with maturity and we became even closer friends from before everything happened!

You may have to find out his true motives as well and deal with it as calmly as possible....

Good luck
Posted 6/28/16
Thank you all for your advice, but to add to what I didn't say. I have tried to talk to him about it but he tries to change the topic whenever I mention about me not feeling comfortable about it, and that in of itself is already pushing our friendship
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28 / IL
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Posted 6/28/16

Velvet_Crowe wrote:

Thank you all for your advice, but to add to what I didn't say. I have tried to talk to him about it but he tries to change the topic whenever I mention about me not feeling comfortable about it, and that in of itself is already pushing our friendship


Then make an excuse to not talk, if he still do it for several time more, cut off.
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28 / F / Jasmine Dragon
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Posted 6/28/16

Velvet_Crowe wrote:

Thank you all for your advice, but to add to what I didn't say. I have tried to talk to him about it but he tries to change the topic whenever I mention about me not feeling comfortable about it, and that in of itself is already pushing our friendship


I'd run. Run far, far away.
He's trying to get you to move (to a completely new state?!?) for no reason other than to be near him, shutting down your ability to discuss your feelings of discomfort, and monopolizing your time. It's paralleling a little too closely for my comfort to an abusive (romantic) relationship - you know, the one where the (usually guy) manipulates the (usually girl) into moving in, then not going out as much, then not being around friends and family, then not going out pretty much at all... and the (usually girl) can't criticize the (usually guy) or something bad happens (emotional manipulation, threats, and/or violence). I realize it's not the same (at least, not yet...), but the parallels are there enough to set off warning bells.

I mean, if you weren't trying to talk to him, I could see him simply not realizing that you don't have similar friendship goals. And then my advice would be to try to talk to him. But if he's deliberately shutting you down and not listening to your wants and needs, thus forcing his desires onto an unwilling you... please Nope right on out of there!
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21 / M / oregon
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Posted 6/28/16

Velvet_Crowe wrote:

Thank you all for your advice, but to add to what I didn't say. I have tried to talk to him about it but he tries to change the topic whenever I mention about me not feeling comfortable about it, and that in of itself is already pushing our friendship


I say since you have already tried talking to him and he won't listen and continues to be persistent that it is best to cut him off. I have experienced people like that as well as had friends that met people like that. All that may happen is he'll probably become more and more persistent so cut it off before it comes worse. It's not worth it prolong a friendship that's not even a strong one if they are annoying so much. Friends are supposed to be people that make your life better, not cause more issues for you.
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17 / F
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Posted 6/28/16

Oxymoon wrote:


Velvet_Crowe wrote:

Thank you all for your advice, but to add to what I didn't say. I have tried to talk to him about it but he tries to change the topic whenever I mention about me not feeling comfortable about it, and that in of itself is already pushing our friendship


I'd run. Run far, far away.
He's trying to get you to move (to a completely new state?!?) for no reason other than to be near him, shutting down your ability to discuss your feelings of discomfort, and monopolizing your time. It's paralleling a little too closely for my comfort to an abusive (romantic) relationship - you know, the one where the (usually guy) manipulates the (usually girl) into moving in, then not going out as much, then not being around friends and family, then not going out pretty much at all... and the (usually girl) can't criticize the (usually guy) or something bad happens (emotional manipulation, threats, and/or violence). I realize it's not the same (at least, not yet...), but the parallels are there enough to set off warning bells.

I mean, if you weren't trying to talk to him, I could see him simply not realizing that you don't have similar friendship goals. And then my advice would be to try to talk to him. But if he's deliberately shutting you down and not listening to your wants and needs, thus forcing his desires onto an unwilling you... please Nope right on out of there!


yeah that seriously gives off some red flags.... be careful
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15 / F
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Posted 6/28/16
Just say your goodbyes
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22 / M
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Posted 6/28/16 , edited 6/28/16
May I suggest the magical friendship that only inanimate objects can provide as a substitute for humans?



Oh you guys.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 6/28/16 , edited 6/29/16
Leaving without saying anything would be the cowards way out. It's common courtesy to let the other person know what's happening.
As the saying goes, "Don't just quit, rage quit."

It looks like OP has tried and stopped half way. Leaving someone doesn't have to be mutual, feelings can't always be spared.
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16 / F / Kuto-ko Tokyo Japan
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Posted 6/29/16 , edited 6/29/16
Read all the comment of your post if it's really help you.
And if not then do what you really feel about your problem.
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Posted 6/29/16
communication is key for any friendship or relationship, Tell him how you feel and if hes a good friend he'll ask wtf is goin on just be honest and tell him to respect your feelings and he should listen... then cutting off contact with a "best friend" idk how you use the word "best friend" but for me thats somebody whos always a bro/sis and who is willing to help out and listen to your problems I hope it helps a little because cutting somebody off who makes you happy enough to earn the title 'best friend' and cutting that off because he wants to be your friend and talk to you is kinda fuqed.
P.S. maybe he thinks you're depressed or maybe hes depressed gotta look at this problem in a dif light... also he might want to be more than a friend
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M / USA
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Posted 6/29/16
To be honest, it sounds like this "friend" of yours has stronger feelings than just friendship. I think you need to be extremely blunt with him and tell him that you're not romantically interested in him like that.
Nivao 
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Posted 6/29/16
Tell him more forcefully since he tries to change the subject. Then if he refuses just block him and forget it.
Posted 6/29/16
Things might change for any number of reasons. Whether someone drops of the Earth without hugs and kisses isn't due to the fact their world should revolve around you and thus they betrayed you, to me thats narcissism. People have their own lives and sometimes can't hold on to clingy and dependent infants. While, yes, its ideal for someone to give a proper goodbye, it isn't a smoking gun they threw your significance in the trashcan. it might be that they have real world problems to worry about and can't entertain you just so that you'll feel better about your own crummy life.
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46 / F / Reston, VA, USA
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Posted 6/29/16
Some people cling to you like Velcro and have no concept of others need for personal space. Since this is a long distance relationship it seems like it would be fairly simple for you to only spend as much or as little time as you wish with the individual.

I think you need to learn to say "No" to the phone calls, Xbox chats, and other contact at the times you don't want it. Some people do this by screening their calls. Others simply say, "I'm busy and can't talk now." and then enforce it by saying, "Goodbye." and hanging up.

I have a close family friend who is a major talker. The whole family kind of jokes about how if you let her get started you can't get rid of her or get a word in edgewise for the next 3 hours. It is sadly true in her case. So I make sure that if she calls I tell her straight away that I can only talk for a certain amount of time because I have an appointment, or I'm expecting another call, or I have to pick someone up from the airport, or I have something in the oven that I have to keep an eye on. That way I can usually get her to say whatever's important up front, talk the 10 minutes I allotted her, and then say "I must go now and get those cinnamon rolls out of the oven and ice them." and hang up.

It's up to you if you want to try any of these methods...
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