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If I Go To A Convention For Yaoi, Will I Easily Romance Women? Or Would They Think I'm Gay?
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21 / M / Oppai Hell
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Posted 7/5/16 , edited 7/5/16
So I'm thinking of going to a Yaoi Convention, in an attempt to seduce lonely fujoshis into my arms who live their sex lives in fictional homosexual relationships, but what happens if they think I'm gay instead? Would it hurt my chances? I could totally pull off a semen uke routine. What else do I do to prepare? A list of questions I prepared.


-What if a Semen makes me his uke? How would I escape his massive yaoi hands?

-How do I casually let women know about my heterosexuality. Should I do the Kabe-don AKA wall pinning constantly to let them know?



-How do I appear to be more Semen like? Do I go around, swimming around in my sailor gear to appear like I'm the type of guy who'll ravish you, therefore disallowing any other Semen to claim me as an uke? How do I appear to be dominant with appearing to be dominantly homosexual?

-Is it true that 99% of fujoshis don't know what a male looks like? How would I educate them?

-If I met an out of state foreigner from Japan, how do I activate subtitles without going to the title menu?

-They say a way through a man's heart is through his penis. What is the way to a woman's heart? Food?

-In the case I should need to bring someone to pretend to be my uke, what should I refer to them as? My student from piano class? My swimteam kouhai? My long lost little brother?

-Should I stuff my pants? I fear the goods need to be more noticeable in order to appear more Semen-y.

-What if a I meet a yandere in cat ears, thus making her into a new breed called "nyanderes"? Should I feed her a can of tuna and escape out the back? Or should I call animal control?

-In case they ask as to what yaoi novels I've read, which sounds the most convincing? Meat Lovers? Love Cage? Basketballs? Gay boys and Gay Toys? At The Speed Of Love Making? All The Way Deep In Uranus?

If you have any suggestions, I'll be sure to hear them.

Edit: Also, my codename will be Yaoi Ling. What do you think of this name?
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19 / M / California
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Posted 7/5/16
Nyanderes actually sound kinda cute.
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20 / M / Winnipeg, MB.
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Posted 7/5/16 , edited 7/5/16
Don't go to con to hit on women. I really don't think I should need to explain why.
Posted 7/5/16
its seme u dirty microwave
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Posted 7/5/16
The way to a woman's heart is through her left breast. As for looking more... whatever you were saying... perhaps something like:

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21 / M / Oppai Hell
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Posted 7/5/16

octorockandroll wrote:

Don't go to con to hit on women. I really don't think I should need to explain why.


Unless you're as experienced with imoutos and as good looking such as myself. Ugly folks need not apply.
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21 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 7/5/16
I'm just going to report this to the mods not because it's offensive but because I feel they need to read this ASAP this is amazing
Posted 7/5/16
This was actually pretty fucking funny, good job PV.
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25 / M / USA
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Posted 7/5/16
You don't need to be at a Yaoi convention for them to think that.

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21 / M / Oppai Hell
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Posted 7/5/16

PrinceJudar wrote:

You don't need to be at a Yaoi convention for them to think that.



Are you questioning the obviousness of my heterosexual desires? Because I'm the paragon of heterosexual desires!
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25 / M / USA
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Posted 7/5/16

PeripheralVisionary wrote:
Are you questioning the obviousness of my heterosexual desires? Because I'm the paragon of heterosexual desires!


One can always try too hard.



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Posted 7/5/16
They'll probably throw you out, friend.
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Posted 7/5/16 , edited 7/5/16

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

So I'm thinking of going to a Yaoi Convention, in an attempt to seduce lonely fujoshis into my arms who live their sex lives in fictional homosexual relationships, but what happens if they think I'm gay instead? Would it hurt my chances? I could totally pull off a semen uke routine. What else do I do to prepare? A list of questions I prepared.


Oh PV your auto-correct knows your favorite words. It's "seme" not "semen"

To find out what will happen, read Kiss Him Not Me
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22 / M / Everywhere
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Posted 7/5/16
Oh Pv thinking of going to a Yaoi convention? Bring me along and I'll make sure you are a big strong seme
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23 / M / Germany
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Posted 7/5/16

lorreen wrote:


PeripheralVisionary wrote:

So I'm thinking of going to a Yaoi Convention, in an attempt to seduce lonely fujoshis into my arms who live their sex lives in fictional homosexual relationships, but what happens if they think I'm gay instead? Would it hurt my chances? I could totally pull off a semen uke routine. What else do I do to prepare? A list of questions I prepared.


Oh PV your auto-correct knows your favorite words. It's "seme" not "semen"

To find out what will happen, read Kiss Him Not Me


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