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Post Reply When did you stop being a nice person?
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Posted 7/9/16
Nice people don't hold grudges about things that happened from around when they were born, so no matter how kind I may be to people, I doubt I have ever been "nice".
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47 / M / Memphis, TN
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Posted 7/9/16 , edited 7/9/16
When it was pointed out, with specific examples, that my family often (if not immediately) suffered when people took advantage of my kindness. I remain polite, but nice is now questionable. . .
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Posted 7/9/16
I could maybe act and be nice or gentle irl (when not speaking for the most part) -__-
stopped being so at least cheerfull after these... girls or women comes after me its annoying but also feeling that negativity when knowing I can't make them happy even if I made them happy.. for a while... many different people I have met and many more to come.. -__-

Cowboy Bebop - "Look at my eyes" (a bit how it is now)
https://youtu.be/HtQ-R5DiInk


redokami wrote:
nice? I think you mean tolerant,
when all this racial bullshit started happening in 2012


bailyn17 wrote:
I'm kind and nice but I kick anyone who make fun of me
But you are so much fun though ;(
and its nice to have some kick in it, if you know what I mean
Posted 7/9/16 , edited 7/10/16
My friends say I'm not nice. They still like me
My life is good.
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Posted 7/9/16 , edited 7/9/16
I wouldn't say I'm nice, but I try my best to be respectful towards others. I fully believe in treating others how you want to be treated. I'd be a complete hypocrite if I were to complain about people being rude to me while not making an effort to be kind to others. If you're not going to make an effort towards being respectful, then don't complain about people treating you like garbage.
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Posted 7/9/16
People started pissing me off a lot more so my patience became minute. I can no longer tolerate bullshit without talking shit
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in a painting
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Posted 7/9/16
I think I'm still nice...but it's getting hard to keep being nice all the time
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Posted 7/10/16
Probable when I entered my teens, maybe about two years before I started High School? I still have a filter though, I just think salty
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 7/10/16

gornotck wrote:

Nice people don't hold grudges about things that happened from around when they were born, so no matter how kind I may be to people, I doubt I have ever been "nice".


Nice people even hold grudges imo.
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Posted 7/10/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

So wondering when everyone else stopped for me it was in highschool in primary school i was known for my good manners and how polite and how well i followed instructions etc.

My Parents and teachers etc always said i was one of the kindest people they knew which looking back would have been true however i really hated how i was because i was nice to others without meaning to be it is just part of who i am.

I was bullied all the way through primary school and only got on well with Adults and Female class mates guys were always rude, when it got to highschool i was also for the first year or so then i discovered why people were bullying me.

People saw my kindness as weak and thought it was fun to pick on someone who is polite so i toned down my manners and stopped being nice to everyone (which takes a conscious effort to do so) and the bullying went down so life was bearable.

That's my experience anyhow but do any of you also act like more of a jerk towards people and more unkind because of how people respond to you i want to know.

(Also i failed tonight i ended up holding a door open for numerous strangers all who wouldn't stop thanking me ...T_T)


You didn't fail and there's NOTHING wrong with being polite and kind to others. You just have to find that balance of being kind without being a doormat. While it's true that some will see your kindness as a weakness and attempt to exploit that there are others who will see your kindness for what it truly is....strength. It's so much easier to just be a jerk especially to people who are mean to you but to be kind to others, especially those who don't return that kindness, well not everyone is capable of doing that and it takes a strong person to remain kind in the face of adversity. Just stay yourself but try to find that balance. It's okay to be a nice person but that does not mean you have to let others walk all over you. Some of the nicest people I know are also the sort of people you don't want to f#$k with.

For me it was exactly the opposite. I was a bit of a bully as a child and around the fourth grade when I was first diagnosed as a manic depressive I really got to thinking about how those other kids must feel and how I was taking out my own issues on them so I stopped being a jerk but I took it way too far and wouldn't even defend myself against other bullies. I just kept thinking about how I felt while I was picking on others and I realized those bullies who were picking on me probably felt the exact same way I did and it made me sad. I tried to befriend those I could and just avoid those I couldn't. I just knew that I did not want to be like that anymore and so I wouldn't even fight back because I was afraid that If I started I wouldn't stop (because let's face it taking out your pain on others is such an easy quick fix. Sure it causes more problems in the long run but at that time it does seem to relieve some of that pain you feel) and I would be even worse than they were.

As I grew older I finally learned how to balance the two. I learned that I could be nice and friendly but that I could also stand up for myself and say no when I wanted to. Life got a lot better after that. People learned not to confuse my kindness with weakness. I still had that mean streak and I can use it if I need to but I'd rather not. Adrenaline bothers me. I am definitely not an adrenaline junkie. Hurting other people scares me because it's just way too easy to do so.
Posted 7/10/16
If you push me enough i'm going snap! I also hate it when people do not say stuff directly to me like hiding
behind a computer or chat also people who assume they know me.
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Posted 7/10/16

Ryulightorb wrote:


pandrasb wrote:

when I decided that I'm just a person, both nice and mean.


so you decided to be 50/50 instead of the normal 80/20 that most people seem to usually be? or?


Where did you get this percentage from as an indication of being normal?

No one is born nice. We get taught what nice is. That's why we teach babies about sharing and manners etc. How much or how little we get taught is dependant on what parenting we receive and the environments we grow up in.

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Posted 7/10/16
When people used my kindness in a wrong way. But I'm not that mean either.
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 7/10/16

tkayt wrote:


Ryulightorb wrote:


pandrasb wrote:

when I decided that I'm just a person, both nice and mean.


so you decided to be 50/50 instead of the normal 80/20 that most people seem to usually be? or?


Where did you get this percentage from as an indication of being normal?

No one is born nice. We get taught what nice is. That's why we teach babies about sharing and manners etc. How much or how little we get taught is dependant on what parenting we receive and the environments we grow up in.



Just an observation it seems to be 80/20 from my view most people are either mostly nice or mostly mean.

No one is born mean either.
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23 / M / Texas
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Posted 7/10/16
I try to be both, nice and mean, but i've been more mean since my cat died last year.
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