Rap Freestyle
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Posted 7/12/16 , edited 7/14/16
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Posted 7/12/16
Ignoring whether or not this is actually a freestyle, you need to rap faster and you need to deliver your lines with more power. It sounds like you are slouched on your couch and just talking with no energy whatsoever. It doesn't work. Your lyrics are also...not good. I'll leave it at that because this is supposedly a freestyle...
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Posted 7/12/16

sundin13 wrote:

Ignoring whether or not this is actually a freestyle, you need to rap faster and you need to deliver your lines with more power. It sounds like you are slouched on your couch and just talking with no energy whatsoever. It doesn't work. Your lyrics are also...not good. I'll leave it at that because this is supposedly a freestyle...


it is a freestyle and why do i need to rap faster? the power thing and slouched on the couch is just your opinion but i disagree. Yes it works, again that's your opinion. It was a freestyle and of course the lyrics are not going to be the best. It's not supposedly...it is a freestyle. you probably can't even make a song that sounds decent.
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Posted 7/12/16
I ignored the fact that it was a freestyle for two reasons. One is because I've heard a lot of great freestyles with solid lyricism and strong delivery. Two is because I think at the end of the day, the final product matters more than the process used to create it.

Anyways, as for the speed, I don't think it gets across the tone or energy of a song which is basically battle rap. You rap at half the speed most people speak, which just lulls me to sleep and it puts more focus on your lyrics which aren't particularly strong here. I think part of the reason the delivery lacks energy is because its hard to give your words energy at such a slow tempo. However, I think another part of that is the monotone you rap in. While rapping is different from singing, tone and tonal variation is still important at making things actually sound good.

As for whether or not I can make a song that sounds decent, I will say its irrelevant, but I will also say I am quite proud of my musical endeavors. I've been playing guitar for about 13 years and drums for about 5 and I've been writing music for about as long as I've been playing, so I know a thing or two about what works and what doesn't.
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Posted 7/12/16 , edited 7/12/16

sundin13 wrote:

I ignored the fact that it was a freestyle for two reasons. One is because I've heard a lot of great freestyles with solid lyricism and strong delivery. Two is because I think at the end of the day, the final product matters more than the process used to create it.

Anyways, as for the speed, I don't think it gets across the tone or energy of a song which is basically battle rap. You rap at half the speed most people speak, which just lulls me to sleep and it puts more focus on your lyrics which aren't particularly strong here. I think part of the reason the delivery lacks energy is because its hard to give your words energy at such a slow tempo. However, I think another part of that is the monotone you rap in. While rapping is different from singing, tone and tonal variation is still important at making things actually sound good.

As for whether or not I can make a song that sounds decent, I will say its irrelevant, but I will also say I am quite proud of my musical endeavors. I've been playing guitar for about 13 years and drums for about 5 and I've been writing music for about as long as I've been playing, so I know a thing or two about what works and what doesn't.

...
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Posted 9/5/16
Closed in anticipation of new thread to consolidate links from prior posts.
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