Post Reply Here's a lighthearted plot with loads of fun
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Posted 7/14/16 , edited 7/14/16
Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.

Here is another story I decided to test my skills with. The other story will be put off until I can figure out what I want to do with it. Does this sound like a good plot? Tell me what you think of it.

Title:
Bookworm's Manor

Setting:
Illfreycombe, Davaria

Genres:
Humor, Slice of Life, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, and Romance

POV:
First-Person

Premise:
A girl must find a part-time job to help her struggling mother and finds work at a bookstore/cafe where she meet a variety of weirdos.

Plot
Annamarie is a high school student who lives with her mother who works two jobs. Annamarie hates the idea of having her mother works two jobs and so she decides to get a part time job. She finds a job at a local but large bookstore call Bookworm's Manor. While working at the bookstore, she is able to help her mother and herself. But at this job Annamarie finds herself working with strange people who mean well. Annamarie goes through life full of ups and downs but at the bookstore the craziness ensues. Even though she is working with weird people, she
is happy and make friends easily.

Main Characters:
Annamarie Jasmine Carriage: A part-timer at the Bookworm's Manor and one of the sanest people in the store.

Marianne Angela Carriage: Annamarie's mother.

Supporting Characters:
Angelique Monte: Another manager. She is only slightly sane but her weirdness side is a force to be reckon with.

Ivan Connors: The store manager. A smart man who is cowardly and clumsy.

Glenda Evergreen: Manager. A lazy glutton who probably the most laidback person in the store. Beware when she is angry.

Jamie Lawrence: Employee 1. A cashier who likes to refer to himself in the third person

Brandy Hapsburg: Employee 2. Another cashier who is way too excited over almost eveything and always looks at the bright side of things.

Andrew Kreig: Employee 3. Another cashier who flirts the female customers.

Lunaria Jericho: Employee 4. She works in the cafe and loves to write and is always coming up with weird ideas for her novels.

Thomas Lysander: Employee 5. A nervous wreck who constantly makes mistakes but excels in helping others.

Helena Carthage: Employee 6. She also works in the cafe and idolizes Glenda. She is very polite and considerate. She doesn't get along with Ivan too well.

Byrant Holloway: Employee 7. He works in the cafe as well and love talking about himself and too much.

Ursula Frederick: Employee 8. She does stock and isn't a people person.

Oliver Gordon: Employee 9. He is deathly afraid of woman but slowly warms up to Annamarie

Yamira Jarvis: Employee 10. A mysterious girl who works at the store and cause trouble for everyone...sometimes.

Eric Peterson: Employee 11. A boy who knows everything about every employee in the store but no one knows anything about him. He loves to blackmail too.

Madame Kerry: A regular customer who love sweets. She is searching for her husband who disappeared months ago.

Enjoy!!!
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Posted 7/14/16

qualeshia3 wrote:

Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.

Here is another story I decided to test my skills with. The other story will be put off until I can figure out what I want to do with it. Does this sound like a good plot? Tell me what you think of it.

Title:
Bookworm's Manor

Setting:
Illfreycombe, Davaria

Genres:
Humor, Slice of Life, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, and Romance

POV:
Third-Person

Premise:
A girl must find a part-time job to help her struggling mother and finds work at a bookstore/cafe where she meet a variety of weirdos.

Plot
Annamarie is a high school student who lives with her mother who works two jobs. Annamarie hates the idea of having her mother works two jobs and so she decides to get a part time job. She finds a job at a local but large bookstore call Bookworm's Manor. While working at the bookstore, she is able to help her mother and herself. But at this job Annamarie finds herself working with strange people who mean well. Annamarie goes through life full of ups and downs but at the bookstore the craziness ensues. Even though she is working with weird people, she
is happy and make friends easily.

Main Characters:
Annamarie Jasmine Carriage: A part-timer at the Bookworm's Manor and one of the sanest people in the store.

Marianne Angela Carriage: Annamarie's mother.

Supporting Characters:
Angelique Monte: Another manager. She is only slightly sane but her weirdness side is a force to be reckon with.

Ivan Connors: The store manager. A smart man who is cowardly and clumsy.

Glenda Evergreen: Manager. A lazy glutton who probably the most laidback person in the store. Beware when she is angry.

Jamie Lawrence: Employee 1. A cashier who likes to refer to himself in the third person

Brandy Hapsburg: Employee 2. Another cashier who is way too excited over almost eveything and always looks at the bright side of things.

Andrew Kreig: Employee 3. Another cashier who flirts the female customers.

Lunaria Jericho: Employee 4. She works in the cafe and loves to write and is always coming up with weird ideas for her novels.

Thomas Lysander: Employee 5. A nervous wreck who constantly makes mistakes but excels in helping others.

Helena Carthage: Employee 6. She also works in the cafe and idolizes Glenda. She is very polite and considerate. She doesn't get along with Ivan too well.

Byrant Holloway: Employee 7. He works in the cafe as well and love talking about himself and too much.

Ursula Frederick: Employee 8. She does stock and isn't a people person.

Oliver Gordon: Employee 9. He is deathly afraid of woman but slowly warms up to Annamarie

Yamira Jarvis: Employee 10. A mysterious girl who works at the store and cause trouble for everyone...sometimes.

Eric Peterson: Employee 11. A boy who knows everything about every employee in the store but no one knows anything about him. He loves to blackmail too.

Madame Kerry: A regular customer who love sweets. She is searching for her husband who disappeared months ago.

Enjoy!!!

i like it and Eric Peterson is my favorite
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Posted 7/14/16


Thank you very much.
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Posted 7/14/16
First I all, I want to say that I don't want to discourage you from writing your other novel. I do think that it can be done well if you tighten it up a bit and think about the story some more. I think that you will make the best product with the story that you are the most passionate about...

Anyways, as for this story, how will it be written? Is there a story arc? Is there a character arc? Will it be episodic (per se) or will it be a continuing story? Does the cast work as an ensemble or do you focus on one a chapter?
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Posted 7/14/16

sundin13 wrote:

First I all, I want to say that I don't want to discourage you from writing your other novel. I do think that it can be done well if you tighten it up a bit and think about the story some more. I think that you will make the best product with the story that you are the most passionate about...

Anyways, as for this story, how will it be written? Is there a story arc? Is there a character arc? Will it be episodic (per se) or will it be a continuing story? Does the cast work as an ensemble or do you focus on one a chapter?


It's a novel series. It's not going to be style after GOT(Game of Thrones). What do you think of the characters so far?
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Posted 7/14/16
So is there a story arc (an overall goal that pushes the story along) and character arcs (do the characters have goals that they are trying to accomplish)? Does the cast work as an ensemble or do you focus on one a chapter? Basically is it like something like Kino's Journey (one central character interacting with basically one other character at a time) or Working (more of an ensemble cast with frequently occurring side characters)?

As for the characters, its hard to say off of a one sentence description, especially without really knowing how they interact in the story.
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Posted 7/14/16

sundin13 wrote:

So is there a story arc (an overall goal that pushes the story along) and character arcs (do the characters have goals that they are trying to accomplish)? Does the cast work as an ensemble or do you focus on one a chapter? Basically is it like something like Kino's Journey (one central character interacting with basically one other character at a time) or Working (more of an ensemble cast with frequently occurring side characters)?

As for the characters, its hard to say off of a one sentence description, especially without really knowing how they interact in the story.


I guess it's like Working but the story will be in first person.
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Posted 7/14/16
Okay, well then I think you need to figure out who the main cast is and who the supporting cast is. In all likelihood, Anna isn't the only one in the main cast, and her mother is probably a supporting character.

Now, I want to say again that any premise can work, and that everything comes down to execution. I can't really tell you if the characters are good without seeing them in action, because with a story like this, what is important is how you write your characters.
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Posted 7/14/16

sundin13 wrote:

Okay, well then I think you need to figure out who the main cast is and who the supporting cast is. In all likelihood, Anna isn't the only one in the main cast, and her mother is probably a supporting character.

Now, I want to say again that any premise can work, and that everything comes down to execution. I can't really tell you if the characters are good without seeing them in action, because with a story like this, what is important is how you write your characters.



So two of the employees must be a main character? Alright then. I'll make Brandy and Oliver the main characters.


Do you have any questions about the characters I've describe?


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Posted 7/14/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


sundin13 wrote:

Okay, well then I think you need to figure out who the main cast is and who the supporting cast is. In all likelihood, Anna isn't the only one in the main cast, and her mother is probably a supporting character.

Now, I want to say again that any premise can work, and that everything comes down to execution. I can't really tell you if the characters are good without seeing them in action, because with a story like this, what is important is how you write your characters.



So two of the employees must be a main character? Alright then. I'll make Brandy and Oliver the main characters.

Do you have any questions about the characters I've describe?



Not necessarily two. Just, your core cast is probably bigger than one. Take K-On for instance. You have the club as your central cast and everyone else is supporting characters. Working has a larger main cast with all of the employees being main cast members and people outside of that largely being supporting characters...

You can split your characters up however you want, but 17 (the amount of characters in your OP) is too many for the main cast so they need to be split up. If you want to make Brandy and Oliver main characters, thats fine.

As for questions about the characters, like I said, I really need to see them in action to judge. However, I guess I'll ask a few things.

-Why is Oliver afraid of Women? How does that fear present itself?
-What is Brandy's relationship with Oliver?
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Posted 7/14/16

sundin13 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


sundin13 wrote:

Okay, well then I think you need to figure out who the main cast is and who the supporting cast is. In all likelihood, Anna isn't the only one in the main cast, and her mother is probably a supporting character.

Now, I want to say again that any premise can work, and that everything comes down to execution. I can't really tell you if the characters are good without seeing them in action, because with a story like this, what is important is how you write your characters.



So two of the employees must be a main character? Alright then. I'll make Brandy and Oliver the main characters.

Do you have any questions about the characters I've describe?



Not necessarily two. Just, your core cast is probably bigger than one. Take K-On for instance. You have the club as your central cast and everyone else is supporting characters. Working has a larger main cast with all of the employees being main cast members and people outside of that largely being supporting characters...

You can split your characters up however you want, but 17 (the amount of characters in your OP) is too many for the main cast so they need to be split up. If you want to make Brandy and Oliver main characters, thats fine.

As for questions about the characters, like I said, I really need to see them in action to judge. However, I guess I'll ask a few things.

-Why is Oliver afraid of Women? How does that fear present itself?
-What is Brandy's relationship with Oliver?



Oliver is afraid of women because he grew up with a highly abusive mother and older sister. He was forced to live with his father who was the only one that cared deeply for him. When Oliver sees a woman, he sweats a lot and cries and tends to get flashbacks. Brandy and Oliver's relationship is awkward at best. Since Oliver is so fearful of women, he stays away from her regardless of how nice she is.

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Sounds heavy. Is this the type of lighthearted comedy slice of life that would be dealing with topics such as child abuse? Or are you going to turn it into a joke a la Mayo Chiki?

Anyways, how does Oliver get involved with these two girls if he is afraid of them and hates being around them? If he is so fearful of women, how does he add to the group dynamic between the three main characters?
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Posted 7/14/16

sundin13 wrote:

Sounds heavy. Is this the type of lighthearted comedy slice of life that would be dealing with topics such as child abuse? Or are you going to turn it into a joke a la Mayo Chiki?

Anyways, how does Oliver get involved with these two girls if he is afraid of them and hates being around them? If he is so fearful of women, how does he add to the group dynamic between the three main characters?


There will be no topics on child abuse in this story. I've never seen Mayo Chiki.

Oliver warms up slowly towards Annamarie and the other girls later on in the story. But mainly he warms up to Annamarie who is the only girl willing to help him with his problem. Everyone else just leaves Oliver alone.
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Posted 7/15/16
Thanks for the comments.
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Posted 7/19/16
I love the potential of this series. It could definitely be a fun read . I think Sundin13 definitely gave you the best advice about multiple leads though. From experience, working with an ever-expanding crew can be fun.

To explain what I mean in a little more detail: When I was young I worked graveyard shift in a 24 hour pharmacy. Our shift included four employees, 2 assistant managers and a manager. We would always be with our core group but occasionally we'd get sent to fill in on morning or afternoon/evening shift and get to work with a completely different set of employees, assistant managers and managers. So what we'd have is...

A) The lead - the 7 of us who worked graveyard shift. The ones who would be there everyday. If thinking of tv shows think of these as the main cast.
B) The other shifts - which we'd only interact with from time to time. Which would be the supporting cast which shows up quite often but not every episode on shows.
C) The customers - which drop by whenever they feel the need to. On a show it could be a character we meet only once or twice in the series.

So, for all intent and purposes, supporting characters can be divided into 3 subsets: supporting, recurring and cameos.

That all said and done, Lunaria is my favorite . She sounds like she'd be fun to be around .
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