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Did you ever try to kill yourself?
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17 / F
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Posted 7/16/16
I've been hospitalized in fear that I would kill myself

useless psychologist

but I'm always contemplating it
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20 / Cold and High
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Posted 7/16/16

-Dattebayo wrote:
I've been hospitalized in fear that I would kill myself
useless psychologist
if that is useless why don't you come to me insted?
I will help you gain more reason to do so, or not... maybe

Posted 7/16/16
Yes, didn't succeed obviously
Will I do it again? Idk maybe in the distant future
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Hoosierville
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Posted 7/16/16 , edited 7/16/16

Nalaniel wrote:

Nope, but I am trying to talk myself into doing it. I would prefer taking the easy way out. Unfortunately, I understand the consequences that would arise from unsuccessfully executing it. For now, I will be trying to avoid doing it. The reason as to why I have such a viewpoint is the fact that I am transgender. I don't know how to cope with the intense negative feelings, my parents would definitely not support me if I were to come out to them(maybe even disown or kill me/beat me up). Talking to others about this doesn't help as much as it used to. Most people do not understand and don't even bother trying. However, I do realise that I am supposed to deal with my own demons by myself. I am not blaming anyone.


Seppku or gtfo. Really though why are you people so focused on gender and a bunch of nonsense. You were born as you were suppose to be. Your body was specifically designed to be with the opposite sex so just go with it. Quit thinking about it and just live your life. Your wasting too much processing power on nonsense, go build a tesla coil or do something interesting with all that brain power your wasting.

It really sounds like you people need a hobby or something to do besides trying to play a matching game with whatever someone else's expectations of a man/woman are. I suggest programming so you can learn to think like a machine and become more efficient.

~ Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 7/17/16
I don't try, just dangerously careless.
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20 / M / Canada
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Posted 7/17/16
Yes, I have to commit suicide every time I get stuck in Cat Mario.
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42 / M
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Posted 7/17/16 , edited 7/17/16

Nalaniel wrote:

Nope, but I am trying to talk myself into doing it. I would prefer taking the easy way out. Unfortunately, I understand the consequences that would arise from unsuccessfully executing it. For now, I will be trying to avoid doing it. The reason as to why I have such a viewpoint is the fact that I am transgender. I don't know how to cope with the intense negative feelings, my parents would definitely not support me if I were to come out to them(maybe even disown or kill me/beat me up). Talking to others about this doesn't help as much as it used to. Most people do not understand and don't even bother trying. However, I do realise that I am supposed to deal with my own demons by myself. I am not blaming anyone.


Warning: Another giant wall of text incoming:

The same goes for me. If you ever need to talk then please just send me a message anytime. I'll admit that I'm probably the world's worst person about following up with people though. I probably have a zillion messages in my inbox here but I hardly ever look at them but I'll try really hard to follow up and go through my messages each day. My advice to you would be go talk to a professional, preferably a psychologist who has experience dealing with this issue. There's got to be some sort of help for transgender people just like there are psychologists who help gay people. I can only imagine how scary it must be letting everyone know the real you but I think it's extremely important to be yourself. If you have to hide who you are then you're in for a very miserable life. Also please, please, PLEASE keep in mind that in most cases people want to commit suicide to relieve pain and to get rid whatever they are feeling or facing. People want relief but you CANNOT feel that without a body. If you're not here to feel that peace then it's just pointless. I post this a lot because it's a really good equation and sums up suicide nicely. Basically suicide is what happens when pain exceeds pleasure plus coping resources or when
Pain > Pleasure + Coping Resources = Suicide

A good psychologist or therapist can teach you about coping resources and how to apply them so even if you are still in a lot of pain they can help even out the scales and keep you going. To answer the OP's question, yes I have attempted suicide several times when I was younger. I kept trying the same method (which I will not mention) and kept failing miserably. I think and hope that deep down there was a big part of me that didn't want to succeed and I'm very glad I didn't because I have learned to accept who I am. The good and the bad and everything in between it's all me and I've learned to deal with my depression over the years and it all started with seeking help.

You might also want to look for a good support group either in your area, online or both. It will help tremendously if you can talk to other people who have been through what you are going through. They can give you some advice as well as their shoulders to lean on. I can't even pretend to know how you must feel because I've never dealt with the issues facing you but I can empathize and I do know fear as well as shame and both are extremely destructive emotions that if you leave to their own devices will trap you in a never ending cycle of self destruction. Shame - guilt - self-loathing - anger/hatred - shame - guilt -self-loathing - etc. It just goes around and around and gets worse so it's best to break that cycle as soon as possible. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of for just being who you were born to be. If people don't like it then that's their problem. I won't pretend to tell you that the world will be all peachy once you do learn to live life as who you are. You'll more than likely face your fair share of adversity because people can be close-minded and just plain hateful but again that's their problem, not yours.

All I know is I railed against the world for so long. I tried to fight against who I am and ignore my problems or drown them out with drugs, alcohol and other destructive behaviors. I tried to swim upstream for way too long and I was miserable. Once I finally started to take a long, hard look at myself, sought some help and just learned to accept that this is me, depression and anxiety and awkwardness and all then life got much better. Once I was able to be truthful to myself I was able to start dealing with my problems and living life again. It's not fun going through the world as a mere shadow of yourself. Everyone should be free to be who they are meant to be and that includes you. Try and find some like minded people and ask for some help. If you do decide to seek professional help then just remember that you don't have to settle for just anyone. Find a psychologist that will understand and get you. Shop around if you have to. Find someone who genuinely gets you and can help you.

Dealing with your parents is going to be rough. We all want the love and acceptance of our parents. If they love you then they should come around in time. If they aren't able to get past their ignorance, fear, hatred, whatever then it may be best if you just cut them off. I know that's not a good answer and will be hard to do but at the end of the day you need to be able to live life on your terms and to be able to stay true to yourself.

I wish you the best. If you ever need to talk then just send me a message. Try to find a good support group online or something to start out with. You'll be surprised how much it helps being able to talk to other people who have gone through the exact same thing that you are going through. Who knows maybe the whole reason for you being on this planet is to one day be able to help some other young guy or girl who is going through the same thing and wishes to be able to tell the world that they're transgender. Hopefully one day it will be you sitting here giving advice to that young transgender man or woman who is depressed and wants to feel accepted by those they love. You can take this and do so much good with it but first you have to work on yourself. Just make sure at some point today you look in a mirror and say these three magical words: I Love You. Everything else becomes possible after that. Best of luck to you. Try to live life on your terms and stay true to yourself. Don't worry about what other people do or don't like. They don't have to walk a mile in your shoes much less live a life time in them.


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23 / M
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Posted 7/17/16
Yes, for many reasons.
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22 / M / Germany
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Posted 7/17/16


Wow. Just wow. You're the most ignorant asshole in this thread and I won't even comment on your BS. GTFO!
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25 / M / Norway
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Posted 7/17/16
Well i have been on the verge of depression. But the good old words is suicide is stupid. So no not really
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18
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Posted 7/17/16
From my personal experience the only way to die immediately is to damage your vital organs/artery (I'm not saying I did that tho bc obviously I'm still here). So unless you want to go through a lot of pain beforehand, it's better to try to talk to someone about it. Or in case you don't want to talk, you can always write it down.
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22 / M / MO, USA
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Posted 7/17/16
I have, twice. Both of them were honest attempts. No one around to save me, no note, no goal other than escape.

It mostly stems from the fact that I've never really fit in anywhere. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some edgy loner who has no social skills, it all just feels empty th.

Realized later it was me that I wasn't satisfied with, so I focused on building a better me. I've done pretty well in those reguards. Still feel out of place most of the time but I'm happy with myself, so I can't say I've legit though of suicide over the past few years.
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29 / F / Chicagoland ~
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Posted 7/17/16
I grew up with depression so yeah, I had my share of suicide attempts over the years throughout middle school, high school, and a bit in college. I worked really hard on changing my life into something I want it to be, though, and came to the realization that it is what you make of it. I'm proud to say I don't even know how many years it's been since the last time I attempted, and I don't think I'll have any issues with it in the future either.
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16 / M
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Posted 7/17/16
Unfortunately I'm too scared to commit suicide, but yes, I've been severely depressed for about ... four years and I've been suicidal almost that entire time period. I have no self confidence, I am doing terrible in school, and beyond that I have a lot of trouble with friends, either hanging out with the wrong people at school that just further ruin my self confidence, or simply being a loner at home and on vacations. I actually have had "Knife OCD"(I don't remember the exact name, I haven't been to a therapist in so many years) since I was 7, but whereas it used to be about using knifes to commit random bad events, it's now become more about me focusing on self mutilation. I've never cut myself but the fact that my OCD has turned inward into such a self obsessed thing probably means I will cut myself soon. I also tend to focus a lot on the past with obsession, thinking about all the time i"ve wasted which is the worst thing ever.

Sorry for the rant :/
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