made a rap song
2622 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
100 / M
Online
Posted 7/16/16
13147 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M
Online
Posted 7/17/16 , edited 7/21/16
Rhymes:

Bar 1:
anime
water

NO RHYMES

Bar 2:
back
relax

Acceptable

Bar 3:
thoughts
story

NO RHYMES

Bar 4:
track
chill

NO RHYMES

Bar 5:
up? well?
key

NO RHYMES

Bar 6:
Me? was that a cross bar rhyme? Whatever, fine

Bar 7:
brain
way

Meh

Bar 8:
day (another cross bar rhyme? I just don't know anymore)
front

Bar 9:
still?

Bar 10:
anime
games

Meh

Bar 11:
die
forever

NO RHYMES

Bar 12:
Not really any structure for the next little bit

Bar 13:
too
cool

Fine


Your bars are really loose. You don't rhyme half the time, sometimes you just rhyme between bars and sometimes your bars just melt into each other.

Learn 2 poetry bruv...
2622 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
100 / M
Online
Posted 7/17/16 , edited 7/21/16

sundin13 wrote:

Rhymes:

Bar 1:
anime
water

NO RHYMES

Bar 2:
back
relax

Acceptable

Bar 3:
thoughts
story

NO RHYMES

Bar 4:
track
chill

NO RHYMES

Bar 5:
up? well?
key

NO RHYMES

Bar 6:
Me? was that a cross bar rhyme? Whatever, fine

Bar 7:
brain
way

Meh

Bar 8:
day (another cross bar rhyme? I just don't know anymore)
front

Bar 9:
still?

Bar 10:
anime
games

Meh

Bar 11:
die
forever

NO RHYMES

Bar 12:
Not really any structure for the next little bit

Bar 13:
too
cool

Fine


Your bars are really loose. You don't rhyme half the time, sometimes you just rhyme between bars and sometimes your bars just melt into each other.

Learn 2 poetry bruv...


Hi
One Punch Mod
85943 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Boston-ish
Offline
Posted 9/7/16
Closed by OP request
You must be logged in to post.