Post Reply Remastered Plot Thread
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 7/17/16
Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.


I'm still working on the story Bookworm's Manor. But to get back to my other story that I wanted to make changes to the other story. if you have any questions, let me know right away. Ask me anything and I will try my best to answer them.

Here I go.

Title:
Arikaisha: Grand Warfare

Setting:
Kropolis

Genres:
Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Action, Adventure, Military, War, Science-fiction, Fantasy, Tragedy, and Suspense

POV:
Third-Person

Premise:
Two people get caught in a series of events that leads to a world war that must be stopped.

Plot:
On January 5, 9000 NIRE, the Grand-Emperor of Arikaisha was shot by a Promethean nationalist from Kenorland. During that time the Kenorland Chancellor invaded the countries Borussia, Cimmeria, Avantica, and Neo-Germania and had their leaders killed. Along with the Promethean Holocaust, these events started the first world war that lasted for ten whole years. After the war, tension between the nations, Neo-Sapiens, and Prometheans grew stronger than ever. There hasn't been any world wars but the world is engulfed in chaos because
of the tension. Five years later an organization known as CUFF and another organization known as EAON can into light and cause a mess of things. These two organizations have been killing off members of royalty and nobility in order to pursue their goal. They want to rid the world of the rich and make it for the commoners. During that time the, nations are fighting again along with the Neo-Sapiens and Prometheans still hating each other dearly. The world gets worst by the day and people fear another war is coming. Enter Rosamaria and Demetrius. These two are best friends who been together since childhood. They are members of imperial families and live lavish lifestyles. But hate being ignorant of what goes on outside of the palace walls. Demetrius decides to join the military while Rosamaria went to study abroad on a different planet. They eventually meet up again but by that time, the world just entered another war and this time is far worst than the first one. Countries are having civil wars and while fighting other countries. Neo-Sapiens and Prometheans are having race wars while CUFF and EAON are targetting royals and nobles. The world is in chaos. Rosamaria and Demetrius fight to survive the war and other obstacles as well. They must do what they can to stop the war before it's too late. Can they do it?


Enjoy!!!
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25 / F / Various
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Posted 7/17/16 , edited 7/17/16
First - what are Neo-Sapiens and Prometheans?

And what do CUFF and EAON stand for? And why are there two of them?
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Posted 7/17/16

LavenderMintRose wrote:

First - what are Neo-Sapiens and Prometheans?

And what do CUFF and EAON stand for? And why are there two of them?


Neo-Sapiens: Immortal superpowered humans

Prometheans: Human beings

CUFF: Common Union Federation Faction

EAON: Eastern Alliance of Nation

There are other organizations it's just these two are bigger and well known.
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Posted 7/18/16
Is this based on the events of the 1900's?

Anyways, if Kenorland killed all of the leaders of those other countries, do they currently still occupy those countries or did they get pushed back?

Why are there two Communist groups (EAON and CUFF)? Are these two groups officially supported by different nations or are they more renegade? The naming implies that they have official support but the writing implies they don't.

Overall, I think it works, you just have a lot going on. Any one of those plot threads could make a whole story so it will be tough to juggle everything. Also think about central themes which can unify all of those different plot threads.
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Posted 7/18/16

sundin13 wrote:

Is this based on the events of the 1900's?

Anyways, if Kenorland killed all of the leaders of those other countries, do they currently still occupy those countries or did they get pushed back?

Why are there two Communist groups (EAON and CUFF)? Are these two groups officially supported by different nations or are they more renegade? The naming implies that they have official support but the writing implies they don't.

Overall, I think it works, you just have a lot going on. Any one of those plot threads could make a whole story so it will be tough to juggle everything. Also think about central themes which can unify all of those different plot threads.



Yeah in a way it is.

The husbands were the ones who were killed while the wives were spared. The wives of the ruler of the nations that were killed are sending armies to attack Kenorland but they aren't winning because Kenorland is too powerful. Why the Chancellor decided to spare the wives is unknown.

I didn't know CUFF and EAON were Communist group. CUFF is more of a stand alone organization. It's goal is to help all the commoners by getting rid of the wealthy and privilege. They're trying to eradicate the wealthy and make the world better suited for commoners only.
EAON was more towards helping poverty stricken nations in the east. They decided to help CUFF in their goal to get rid of the wealthy.

Any other questions?

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Posted 7/18/16
I really like the concept behind this plot, though it is quite jumbled up. It has an immense number of moving parts which can and will become a pain to get rolling in the same direction.

There is something that doesn't quite fit in my head. I need you to clarify it.

1) What is the age of these civilizations, 9k years?

2) If so, then they must posses advanced technology (you did mention interplanetary travel and implied it had been colonized). Now, how come that with this level of tech and the racial hatred these world has not annihilated itself earlier.

I mean, humans can't abstain from warfare for more than a decade straight (The Great War, Polish-Soviet War, Spanish Civil War, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, Soviet Afghanistan, Gulf War, Iraq War, ...) < That's a 100 years worth of consecutive conflict, not to mention the Cold War and the nukes. Over 60M people died in just one of these wars and then we had people thinking WMD's were a toy.

The point that I want to get across is that it doesn't sound credible that the world war you mention is the first to had ever happened. Then again I'm not sure how things run in this world. That is really the only warning a can give you. The plot sounds great, especially under such conditions but some part need polishing.
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Posted 7/18/16

DViper15 wrote:

I really like the concept behind this plot, though it is quite jumbled up. It has an immense number of moving parts which can and will become a pain to get rolling in the same direction.

There is something that doesn't quite fit in my head. I need you to clarify it.

1) What is the age of these civilizations, 9k years?

2) If so, then they must posses advanced technology (you did mention interplanetary travel and implied it had been colonized). Now, how come that with this level of tech and the racial hatred these world has not annihilated itself earlier.

I mean, humans can't abstain from warfare for more than a decade straight (The Great War, Polish-Soviet War, Spanish Civil War, World War II, Korea, Vietnam, Soviet Afghanistan, Gulf War, Iraq War, ...) < That's a 100 years worth of consecutive conflict, not to mention the Cold War and the nukes. Over 60M people died in just one of these wars and then we had people thinking WMD's were a toy.

The point that I want to get across is that it doesn't sound credible that the world war you mention is the first to had ever happened. Then again I'm not sure how things run in this world. That is really the only warning a can give you. The plot sounds great, especially under such conditions but some part need polishing.


Futuristic civilization with highly advance technology.


There have been wars in the past but not a full scale world war. There have been mostly civil wars and your standard major crimes.
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Posted 7/18/16 , edited 7/19/16
Guys and gals, check out my other thread call the "Here is the breaking down of my plot" and tell me what you think of it.
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Posted 7/19/16

qualeshia3 wrote:

Guys and gals, check out my other thread call the "Plot Breakdown Thread" and tell me what you think of it.


Am I blind or does that thread not exist?
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Posted 7/19/16

sundin13 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Guys and gals, check out my other thread call the "Plot Breakdown Thread" and tell me what you think of it.


Am I blind or does that thread not exist?


Same problem here.
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Posted 7/19/16

sundin13 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Guys and gals, check out my other thread call the "Plot Breakdown Thread" and tell me what you think of it.


Am I blind or does that thread not exist?


I had deleted it. But I made a new thread. See for yourself. And ask me any questions you want.
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Posted 7/19/16

DViper15 wrote:


sundin13 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:

Guys and gals, check out my other thread call the "Plot Breakdown Thread" and tell me what you think of it.


Am I blind or does that thread not exist?


Same problem here.


I had deleted it. But I made a new thread. See for yourself. And ask me any questions you want.
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Posted 7/19/16
Sounds oddly intriguing but how are they fighting? Do they have powers or ability? are the using guns, swords, mechs, power armor and what will your main characters be using to combat this and the war as a whole do they have allies or is it two childhood friends against these groups?
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Posted 7/19/16

cdragoon wrote:

Sounds oddly intriguing but how are they fighting? Do they have powers or ability? are the using guns, swords, mechs, power armor and what will your main characters be using to combat this and the war as a whole do they have allies or is it two childhood friends against these groups?


They use mechs.
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Posted 7/19/16

LavenderMintRose wrote:

First - what are Neo-Sapiens and Prometheans?

And what do CUFF and EAON stand for? And why are there two of them?


Hey, check out my "Here is my breaking down the plot" thread. Ask you as many questions as you want to. I will try my best to answer them.
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