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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 7/19/16 , edited 7/19/16
Let me know if a thread like this one exist or not.
Thanks a bunches.

So, I decided to make this thread about the characters for the deserve to be known about. If you have any questions, feel free to ask them.

Here I go:

Name: Rosamaria Valencia Marianne Eisenhower

Race: Neo-Sapien

Nationality: Kenorland

Age: 17

Rank: Crown Princess

Rosamaria is the daughter of Victor and Rosaria Eisenhower and the older sister of Annabella. She lives in Kenorland and is the Crown Princess of the nation. Rosamaria is a sheltered girl who hates been confined to one place. She eventually leave home to venture out. Rosamaria decides to go to school on the planet Verulia. She is best friends with Demetrius who is the Seventh Grand-Prince of Arikaisha and his distant cousin. Rosamaria has suffered harsh racism and backlash from other nations due to being a Kenorlander and Neo-Sapien. Rosamaria hates her country for all the things that it's done which is another reason why she went away to another planet for schooling. She comes back only to learn that the world is at war yet again. Her goal is to stop her the war by stopping her father. But after learning about her mother's death she vows to stop CUFF and EAON from obtaining their goal. She can be described as headstrong, stubborn, a little naive, caring and compassionate.

Name: Demetrius Alexander Zachariah Arionheart

Race: Neo-Hybrid

Nationality: Griagasian

Age: 18

Rank: Seventh Grand Prince

Demetrius is the son of Hendricks and Veronica Arionheart and the seventh child. He lives in the capital nation of Griagasia and is the Grand-Prince of the planet Arikaisha. Demetrius is a bit sheltered and spoiled and also hates being confined to one place. He joins the military to become a grand-knight. Demetrius is a rare species known as a Neo-Hybrid making him half Promethean and half Neo-Sapien. Demetrius can live forever as long as he doesn't do anything that will shorten his life. People aren't truly please knowing that a Promethean and Neo-Sapien had a child. Demetrius receives harsh racism and discrimination for being a Neo-Hybrid. He decides to change his life around by joining the military. Demetrius is best friends with Rosamaria and distant cousins. His goal is to stop the war along with CUFF and EAON. He can be described as intelligent, determined, rude, spoiled, headstrong, persistent, and somewhat caring.

Rosamaria and Demetrius will struggle to survive the war. They will work together to try and live but they are forced to undergo a series of events that will test their limits. The story is about them trying to survive the war and figuring out a way to stop it for good. That means lives will have to be lost and they are both willing to accept that.

I didn't know how else to explain these two but I did my best. If you have any questions, feel free to ask away.

Enjoy!!!
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Posted 7/19/16 , edited 7/19/16
Your characters both seem pretty similar. You use the description "sheltered and spoiled" for both of them. As main characters, they will need to play off of each other, so usually they will need some ways in which they contrast and hold different perspectives. So, tell me: How were these characters raised? Were they confined within the castle walls? Did they have interaction with the outside world? What do they know about how things are happening in the world? What do they know of their family? Etc. You don't have to answer all of those questions, I just want to know how they got to this point in there lives.

Where does the story start? Does it start when Rosamaria returns from school or when she goes to school or some other time?

Does the death of her mother make her not want to stop her father?

What do you mean by "anything that will shorten his life"?

Isn't he more sheltered from the racism at home than in the military?

How do Demetrius and Rosamaria communicate? Sounds like they don't live close to each other so is it by letter? Video phone? Teleportation?
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Posted 7/19/16 , edited 7/19/16


They were raised in a somewhat good home. I have to be honest they weren't that sheltered but they are a bit spoiled(well mostly Demetrius). They were able to go to school have contact with other children and people but that was when they were younger. When they started getting home schooled at the age twelve to fifteen that is when they were living sheltered lives.

The death of her mother makes her want to stop CUFF and EAON but also her father from destroying the world as well.

I might start the story while Rosamaria is on her summer break from school. She is given a four month break from school.

Demetrius can live forever only if he takes great care of himself and stays away from danger.

Yes, he would be more sheltered from being at home but he is more spoiled than anything.

Demetrius and Rosamaria haven't communicated in a while. But it's normally through email or telephones.

Any more questions you have to ask?
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Posted 7/20/16
So basically, he can be killed, but he can't get sick? Does he age? If he stops aging, when? Is this standard for Neo-Hybrids?

Also, when Rosamaria goes to the school on a different planet, it seems like she chooses to do so. Does she? If she's sheltered, that indicates a lack of choice. Did something change that allowed her to make that decision, or was she always free to come and go, and just let herself be sheltered?

Was it a big shock to her to see things outside of her palace for the first time?

Also, you said something in one of the other threads about it being a big shock that their families were related. Aren't royal genealogies recorded and somewhat public knowledge? Most nations tend to brag about that sort of thing. Was one ancestor actually not who everyone thought they were? How was this discovered, and why now?

And how did these two first meet if their families are supposed to be enemies?

Likewise, how did Demetrius' parents know each other?
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Posted 7/20/16


Neo-Hybrids can get sick and they can die but they can also live forever. Neo-Hybrids stop aging when they reach the age 100.

Rosamaria decides to go to a different planet because that planet(Verulia) has the best schools in the galaxy. She wanted to leave her world behind to venture and see life differently. To be honest, Rosamaria isn't really all that sheltered. She can come and go as she sees fit.

It was the Arch-Emperor who first discovered that the Kenorland Imperial Family were distant relatives of the Grand Imperial Dynasty. The Kenorland Imperial Family had no idea that they were related to the Grand Imperial Dynasty. The Arch-Emperor told the Grand Emperor who told the Emperor of Kenorland about this. The Emperor of Kenorland told his family then word got out to the world about it. The Arch-Emperor was doing some simple research on the family and found out that the Kenorland Imperial Family are related to them. This goes back two thousand years from now.

Hendricks(Demetrius's father) and Veronica(Demetrius's mother) met in college. Veronica was the daughter of a noble house clansman while Hendricks was the grand-prince. They met through friends getting them together.



Going over the plot again I've decided to make some changes for the last time. I'll PM them to you. Any other questions.
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Posted 7/20/16
There seems to be a whole lot of connection between these groups that supposedly hate each other. Were they driven apart very quickly before the genocide happens?

And how separate are they? They don't seem to be completely isolated from each other. If they interconnect for that long, there are bound to be enough connections between the two groups that even if neo-hybrids are rare, there are enough people with friends and connections on both sides that they're not going to go for the divisiveness that easily.

How does the Arch-Emperor have time to research this, yet no historian over those thousands of years has found it? Historians get really deep into these things. If they're royalty, their genealogy is of immense importance to historians.

forgive me if anything sounds odd, it's past midnight and I'm tired. ^_^;;
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Posted 7/21/16

LavenderMintRose wrote:

There seems to be a whole lot of connection between these groups that supposedly hate each other. Were they driven apart very quickly before the genocide happens?

And how separate are they? They don't seem to be completely isolated from each other. If they interconnect for that long, there are bound to be enough connections between the two groups that even if neo-hybrids are rare, there are enough people with friends and connections on both sides that they're not going to go for the divisiveness that easily.

How does the Arch-Emperor have time to research this, yet no historian over those thousands of years has found it? Historians get really deep into these things. If they're royalty, their genealogy is of immense importance to historians.

forgive me if anything sounds odd, it's past midnight and I'm tired. ^_^;;


Are you talking about the Prometheans and Neo-Sapiens?

The historians honestly always knew but never told the Arch-Emperor. But the historians left clues for the Arch-Emperor to help him discover the truth about his family.


It's okay. Any more questions?
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Posted 7/21/16
So what was the public story about this ancestor from the other family? There would have to be some public story, in public history books. Would there be a made-up identity for them?

And what you're describing would be "palace archivists" not "historians". And it's unlikely they would keep a secret that the Emperors themselves wouldn't know. Maybe if there's a group of priests or something, someone powerful other than the Emperor, who kept the secret.
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Posted 7/21/16

LavenderMintRose wrote:

So what was the public story about this ancestor from the other family? There would have to be some public story, in public history books. Would there be a made-up identity for them?

And what you're describing would be "palace archivists" not "historians". And it's unlikely they would keep a secret that the Emperors themselves wouldn't know. Maybe if there's a group of priests or something, someone powerful other than the Emperor, who kept the secret.


What do you mean by public story?
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Posted 7/22/16
So imagine an ordinary citizen of that country. Not a royal, not a military official, just a commoner. When they go to high school - if education isn't widespread, then think of the closest-to-average citizen of the country that would be going to high school - in high schools, what do they teach the students about that point in history, about those specific ancestors of the royal family, how, when and why they got married, etc.?

Because, you know... that would be taught in high school. Just like how in real life, schools teach about Anne Boleyn's history before she married Henry VIII, or Prince Albert's before he married Victoria.
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Posted 7/22/16

LavenderMintRose wrote:

So imagine an ordinary citizen of that country. Not a royal, not a military official, just a commoner. When they go to high school - if education isn't widespread, then think of the closest-to-average citizen of the country that would be going to high school - in high schools, what do they teach the students about that point in history, about those specific ancestors of the royal family, how, when and why they got married, etc.?

Because, you know... that would be taught in high school. Just like how in real life, schools teach about Anne Boleyn's history before she married Henry VIII, or Prince Albert's before he married Victoria.


Well they do teach the history of the Grand Imperial Dynasty but there is a gap in the history. Meaning something was left out. Nobody knows what that is but it has to do with the Kenorland Imperial Family.
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Posted 7/22/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


LavenderMintRose wrote:

So imagine an ordinary citizen of that country. Not a royal, not a military official, just a commoner. When they go to high school - if education isn't widespread, then think of the closest-to-average citizen of the country that would be going to high school - in high schools, what do they teach the students about that point in history, about those specific ancestors of the royal family, how, when and why they got married, etc.?

Because, you know... that would be taught in high school. Just like how in real life, schools teach about Anne Boleyn's history before she married Henry VIII, or Prince Albert's before he married Victoria.


Well they do teach the history of the Grand Imperial Dynasty but there is a gap in the history. Meaning something was left out. Nobody knows what that is but it has to do with the Kenorland Imperial Family.


Is this something that you plan to get into in the story?
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Posted 7/22/16

sundin13 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


LavenderMintRose wrote:

So imagine an ordinary citizen of that country. Not a royal, not a military official, just a commoner. When they go to high school - if education isn't widespread, then think of the closest-to-average citizen of the country that would be going to high school - in high schools, what do they teach the students about that point in history, about those specific ancestors of the royal family, how, when and why they got married, etc.?

Because, you know... that would be taught in high school. Just like how in real life, schools teach about Anne Boleyn's history before she married Henry VIII, or Prince Albert's before he married Victoria.


Well they do teach the history of the Grand Imperial Dynasty but there is a gap in the history. Meaning something was left out. Nobody knows what that is but it has to do with the Kenorland Imperial Family.


Is this something that you plan to get into in the story?


Possibly.
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Posted 7/22/16

qualeshia3 wrote:


sundin13 wrote:

Is this something that you plan to get into in the story?


Possibly.


Okay, well I think I've said this before, but plot threads need to have a pay off. If you establish a plot point (something is mysteriously missing from the historical archives) and you don't do anything further with that, it feels a bit cheap and not thought out. I think your worlds sometimes try to make things too big which leaves some plot threads hanging. If you don't have a pay-off for an idea, you can usually find another way of doing things which doesn't open doors you never plan to walk through. You can always go back and edit/rewrite things after you write your rough draft, but if you think ahead a bit, you can usually save yourself the effort (unless you plan to walk through a door but never find a way to, which does happen...).
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Posted 7/22/16
Also, why is it missing, and why is everyone not on it? Scholars in real life become obsessed with finding the answers in things like that.

If it's really missing, it must have been some sort of dark age - like a real dark age, where barely anyone was literate. Look up how much is known about goings on in Europe for a few hundred years following the fall of the Roman Empire. Like that.

If someone knows the truth, but they want to keep it secret, there must be some sort of official story. They wouldn't just say, "oops, no one knows what happened here," if any evidence exists, because then everyone would be obsessing and speculating over what happened there (like people do in real life when there are blank spots in history).
They'd make something up, tell the world that's what happened, and actively alter evidence to fit that. That's what I meant by public story.
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