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Post Reply Throw some ideas on how to turn someone down!!
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Posted 7/26/16
I think it really does depend both on who you are and who you're turning down. I've never been in a position to turn someone down, so I can't give any good ideas on that front.

I did once confess to a girl who turned me down though. She was an extremely modest girl and said something to the effect of "I think you deserve someone better than me". I don't know if she was just outright lying or not, but knowing her, I think she really was just that modest. I felt that rejection was very thoughtful and always appreciated how she didn't just rip me a new one.

If in some bizarre opposite world I ever had to turn someone down, I think that's what I'd use.
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Posted 7/26/16

Cait_Sidhe wrote:

I think it really does depend both on who you are and who you're turning down. I've never been in a position to turn someone down, so I can't give any good ideas on that front.

I did once confess to a girl who turned me down though. She was an extremely modest girl and said something to the effect of "I think you deserve someone better than me". I don't know if she was just outright lying or not, but knowing her, I think she really was just that modest. I felt that rejection was very thoughtful and always appreciated how she didn't just rip me a new one.

If in some bizarre opposite world I ever had to turn someone down, I think that's what I'd use.


Best example I have read. Not that I had the need to turn someone down but it does set a good way to look into how someone would feel after being confessed to and responding back.

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Posted 7/26/16

thatgirl202 wrote:
I wrote him a letter saying that I didn't like him that way. To avoid any embarrassment from my and his part. He never contacted me again.

I think there is no gentle way because the truth hurts but ignoring/avoiding the situation is just another way of being an ass. Just tell them the truth and if you're a coward like me, write them a letter.


That sounds like a good idea, to write a letter. I don't think it's cowardly, it actually seems like a sincere way to reject someone without embarrassing them verbally.
Posted 7/27/16
Tell them you don't like them that way. Simple as that. It's their fault if they refuse to take no for an answer.
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Posted 7/27/16 , edited 7/30/16
Sorry, but I don't think my 2D Waifu would approve of a harem. ;D
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19 / M / ya mum's house
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Posted 7/27/16 , edited 7/28/16
fake your own death
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 7/27/16

Cait_Sidhe wrote:

I think it really does depend both on who you are and who you're turning down. I've never been in a position to turn someone down, so I can't give any good ideas on that front.

I did once confess to a girl who turned me down though. She was an extremely modest girl and said something to the effect of "I think you deserve someone better than me". I don't know if she was just outright lying or not, but knowing her, I think she really was just that modest. I felt that rejection was very thoughtful and always appreciated how she didn't just rip me a new one.

If in some bizarre opposite world I ever had to turn someone down, I think that's what I'd use.


To me that just says.

I don't think im good enough to have you or she is lying.

I would be offended imo if they were lying and if not i would be dissapointed in them for thinking so low of themselves.
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Posted 7/27/16 , edited 7/27/16
"Fuck off."
Sogno- 
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Posted 7/27/16
i cant speak from personal experience but my policy is simple is best , and "no" is about as simple as you can get
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Posted 7/27/16 , edited 7/27/16

Ryulightorb wrote:

To me that just says.

I don't think im good enough to have you or she is lying.

I would be offended imo if they were lying and if not i would be dissapointed in them for thinking so low of themselves.


This is why I said it depends on who both people are. I wouldn't be offended at either option myself, but could understand why you might be.

If she was lying, what that tells me is that she is considerate and empathetic enough to put someone else's emotions above her pride during a delicate situation. This might just be a cultural thing since humility seems to be a quality that has fallen out of fashion, but I still appreciate it. This is also why I'd be inclined to use this rejection if I ever had to. If they were offended by it, then quite frankly, they fell for the wrong person

If she was telling the truth, then it would have been hard for me to be disappointed in her at the time since I was young and had quite a few self-esteem issues myself. I just took it to mean that she thought someone else would be a better fit (both for her and me). I don't really think it was her being down on herself as much as it was a clever way of saying "There are other fish in the sea".

Not all people are going to pursue the same type of romantic interest, after all. I can respect that some guys would much prefer a straight "No", or "Not interested", or "F-off" and that's fine. Some people are just naturally blunt, and so anything but a naturally blunt rejection would be both dishonest and rude. Similarly, some people need blunt answers or else there are misunderstandings and hurt feelings. I'm just not the type of person who would even try to pursue someone so blunt though.

Neither of us were like that at the time. She put me down gently, and I was smart enough to take the hint, appreciate her consideration, and move on. It was a very cordial exchange

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Posted 7/27/16

thatgirl202 wrote:


1stladyent wrote:

Say someone has told you they loved you, or had feelings for you, or whatever affectionate or amorous reason, but you can't reciprocate.

Would you give them a simple or complicated explanation? Would you give them an explanation at all? Would you be a complete ass about it, or find some gentle way to kill the idea?

OR, do you just ignore or avoid the situation(s) altogether?




I wrote him a letter saying that I didn't like him that way. To avoid any embarrassment from my and his part. He never contacted me again.

I think there is no gentle way because the truth hurts but ignoring/avoiding the situation is just another way of being an ass. Just tell them the truth and if you're a coward like me, write them a letter.


Well stated, thatgirl202. This is a good way to handle it (Dear John or Dear Fran letter). Just be gentle, concise. S(he) will have closure and it will be in writing.


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Posted 7/28/16
Lemme ask my mum.
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 7/28/16
Well first off from previous experience (on the receiving end) I can tell you that...

1. It's not you it's me...
2. I'm not good enough for you you can find better...
3. I only think of you as a friend...
4. I think you're perfect but I still need to see if there's someone better out there...so wait for me...
5. I've secretly been dating your best friend (who you told you like me) for a while now (after you told him/her) and we kept it a secret not to hurt you...
6. *shakes head* I'm sorry *walks out*...
7. Let me go and if it's meant to be...I'll come back to you...
8. I love you like a brother...
9. Awwwwww, I love you too... *pats your head or back then walks away*...
10.Me? Go out with you?...*laughs hysterically*...
11.I don't want to risk losing my best friend...
12. What makes you think I would ever consider going out with you? ...

Don't work unless you want to lose the friendship for life.

I'd suggest...

1. I'm interested in someone else (only use this one if you truly are)
2. I don't date people I work with (if it's true)
3. We're too different, it wouldn't work (if you think that's true)
4. I'm already seeing someone (if you are)
5. I don't have the time to deal with a long distance relationship (if it's truly how you feel)
6. My life is too complicated as is (if you truly feel this way)

Try to be honest not cliche but honest above all else.
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Posted 7/28/16

neugenx wrote:

Well first off from previous experience (on the receiving end) I can tell you that...

1. It's not you it's me...
2. I'm not good enough for you you can find better...
3. I only think of you as a friend...
4. I think you're perfect but I still need to see if there's someone better out there...so wait for me...
5. I've secretly been dating your best friend (who you told you like me) for a while now (after you told him/her) and we kept it a secret not to hurt you...
6. *shakes head* I'm sorry *walks out*...
7. Let me go and if it's meant to be...I'll come back to you...
8. I love you like a brother...
9. Awwwwww, I love you too... *pats your head or back then walks away*...
10.Me? Go out with you?...*laughs hysterically*...
11.I don't want to risk losing my best friend...
12. What makes you think I would ever consider going out with you? ...

Don't work unless you want to lose the friendship for life.

I'd suggest...

1. I'm interested in someone else (only use this one if you truly are)
2. I don't date people I work with (if it's true)
3. We're too different, it wouldn't work (if you think that's true)
4. I'm already seeing someone (if you are)
5. I don't have the time to deal with a long distance relationship (if it's truly how you feel)
6. My life is too complicated as is (if you truly feel this way)

Try to be honest not cliche but honest above all else.


Wow, 4,5, and 7 (receiving) are terrible excuses.
I've tried the "I can't/don't see myself with you" line and that didn't work. It was an honest response.
I might try your list of suggestions.
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Posted 7/28/16

1stladyent wrote:



Wow, 4,5, and 7 (receiving) are terrible excuses.
I've tried the "I can't/don't see myself with you" line and that didn't work. It was an honest response.
I might try your list of suggestions. :lol:


I'd say of them all I took #4 (receiving) the worst. Asking me to stay her friend, not date anyone else and watch her date other guys just completely ticked me off so much I stopped answering her calls and changed my phone number. I'd say I probably took #3 from the bottom list the best. It at least showed she took the time to contemplate before giving her answer. She actually did and gave me the reasons why she thought we were so different. I couldn't argue her facts and stayed friends with her. It's kind of in the explanation. I think the time she took to think about it and the facts she gave made it just so much easier to handle.
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