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You've created a new miracle drug that can, literally, perform any miracle, except...
961 cr points
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20 / M / USA
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Posted 7/30/16
The one thing it cannot do is fail.
1099 cr points
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Posted 7/30/16
It will not make senpai notice you.


OR

It does not sell because a drug like that, if it existed, would cost a stupid amount of money. Big pharmaceuticals would conduct corporate espionage to steal the secrets while governments go to war over its ownership. The world would tear itself apart even before a single dose is administered.

Jr3ach 
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19 / M / Canada
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Posted 7/30/16
It can perform any miracle except the miracle(s) YOU want. Essentially making the drug useless to most people...
13256 cr points
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21 / F / Texas
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Posted 7/30/16
It makes pregnancy a breeze. Completely painless, no morning sickness, no mood swings or weird food cravings but... the one side effect is that the woman is far more insufferable for everyone else. She will constantly talk about the baby, the nursery, what she wants to name it, what school the kid will go to nonstop throughout the entire duration of the pregnancy. She won't have any headaches but boy will everyone else have one.
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45 / M / Brooklyn, NY
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Posted 7/31/16
It can't make the person who takes it a nice person if their true self, the person they are behind the malady, is an asshole.
If you're an asshole due to a disease or chemical imbalance, but the "you inside" is a nice person, that it'll fix.

@jakolentu2015 - You're the one making the drug, not one of the big Pharmaceuticals. If you kept it under their radar during development & trials, they'd laugh at your patent application, but wouldn't be able to do anything once the patent got approved except offer you metric assloads of money to buy exclusive rights to it.

Or, you could initially sell it to desperate, but horribly rich people, make enough for you and yours to live comfortably, then give it away to everyone else for pennies or nothing.

Alternatively, you could just dump it in every water supply on earth, and either announce that you've done so, or remain anonymous, content in the knowledge that you've cured every disease on earth, for plants or animals, and altered every human to secrete chemicals that repel mosquitoes and other blood sucking insects. Hell, we just repel insects period.

Much as I'd like to, mosquitoes are too deeply ingrained in the ecosystem to simply sterilize all of them and let them die out. Oh, and all pests will retreat as far from humanity as possible, because they're now allergic to us and our food.
Posted 7/31/16
It can't do paradoxes.
Posted 7/31/16
Too bad it gives you a flesh eating virus.
21519 cr points
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27 / M / Leanbox, Gameindu...
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Posted 7/31/16
Give the Cubs a World Series victory
91817 cr points
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24 / M / Finland, city of...
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Posted 7/31/16

ZeeCaptainSnippy wrote:

It makes pregnancy a breeze. Completely painless, no morning sickness, no mood swings or weird food cravings but... the one side effect is that the woman is far more insufferable for everyone else. She will constantly talk about the baby, the nursery, what she wants to name it, what school the kid will go to nonstop throughout the entire duration of the pregnancy. She won't have any headaches but boy will everyone else have one.


Duct tape is good fix for that situation.
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27 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 7/31/16
Thanks for the comments, cool people.
23927 cr points
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Batcave
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Posted 7/31/16
It can't turn back time.
26208 cr points
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21 / M / Future Gadget Lab...
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Posted 7/31/16
make you into an anime character
9470 cr points
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AKR
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Posted 7/31/16
It cannot cure avian flu pls.
47839 cr points
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28 / F / SC
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Posted 7/31/16
it doesn't cure morning breath
3108 cr points
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19 / M / Brooklyn, NY
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Posted 7/31/16
Cure AIDS.(wish this could happen.)
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