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A clothing question
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22 / M / U.S.A.
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Posted 8/6/16

ResilientPsyche wrote:


Rinrinrinn wrote:


XxDarkSasuxX wrote:
Perhaps she's wearing those clothes because it feels more comfortable, not because she wants to attract attention.


I've heard people use this a lot and truly, I get it. But it's pretty silly to think that that person doesn't think she'd attract attention just because that's not what she wants... I'm a firm believer that people know what they want to achieve when they get dressed. It's one of the best ways that we can express ourselves, so I think that a girl going out knowing well that she's wearing something that will attract the attention of other men and that her bf disapproves of it has little to no respect for that relationship. I've seen it firsthand with a married friend. I can tell the difference when she's going out to flirt with guys and when she just wants to hang out with friends.


I couldn't have said it better. I get she wants to "look cute" but there are a million other options that don't involve huge cleavage slits and shirts with no back when I'm not around. Clothing aside, having a "I'm going to do whatever I want regardless of what you want, say, or think" is incredibly disrespectful in a relationship. If that's your attitude when you are single so be it but it has no place in a relationship,

Telling her what she can and can not dress in is more disrespectful. You can tell her your concerns, but if you are going to raise a fuss about it then it is on you if things turn rocky.
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Posted 8/6/16

XxDarkSasuxX wrote:


Trust is important.

If you don't think she'd brush off other guys while she's in a relationship with you, then why are you even with her?


SOMEONE SAID IT.



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23 / M / AZ
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Posted 8/6/16 , edited 8/7/16

Hoes will be hoes even if they wear skirts and dresses.
Besides, a woman should wear whatever she wants,

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22 / F / NY
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Posted 8/6/16 , edited 8/7/16
lmao the day a man tells me what i can or can't wear... LMFAO

i WISH my bf would try it hah he would be out the door
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 8/6/16

PeripheralVisionary wrote:


neugenx wrote:

If she were to wear something like this to a night out clubbing with the girls I'd have no problem...



But if she wore something like this...



I'd definitely begin to question her loyalty and faithfulness and wonder if I was with someone trustworthy.


Who are the model in the bottom pictures and where may I buy such a dress?!


I'm kind of afraid to find out or let the woman I'm dating see this post .
Posted 8/6/16
It depends on how he points it out. Being protective is kind of cute so it really depends on his manner of speaking when he tells me to change my outfit. But I still have the last say on what I would wear. I may or may not be convinced haha. Although in my case I am not comfortable showing too much skin anyway so this would not be much of a dilemma for me.
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20 / F / In the rain
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Posted 8/6/16
Honestly I think girls should wear whatever they want. There has to be some sort of trust between both people in the relationship. Trying to manipulate and control the other person doesnt really help keep it stable and healthy. I think that saying anything about someone else clothing is only fine if you point out holes and tears in the fabric because if they are wearing it there is a high chance they didn't notice it.
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18 / F / USA
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Posted 8/7/16
Girls if you are in a relationship and you want to wear revealing clothes knowing your significant other doesnt like it, then who are you really trying to dress for?

Hell, it's not even about insecurity, it's about f*cking respecting each other. You guys are in a relationship no?
For any party, whether it's the girlfriend or boyfriend you should be thinking about each other. You put your time and emotions into building each other's relationship. You guys should he focusing on each other, not showing off.
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21 / California
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Posted 8/7/16 , edited 8/7/16
If my S.O. straight out told me that I couldn't wear a certain kind of clothing with no room for me to argue, I'd probably get mad and wear it anyway
But the second half is just me being stubborn. I don't necessarily think it would be healthy if anyone's S.O. automatically said that they can't wear something because of such and such reason and then expect them to listen just because "you're in a relationship."

Now if my S.O. expressed their feelings in a way that they weren't forcing me into their ideals (if that's the proper word for it) then I'd definitely consider what they've said. Personally, I like taking in consideration the opinions of my partner so if they ever told me that they felt uncomfortable with what I was wearing, I'd look in the mirror and would probably change an item or two.

But just like a couple of people who've replied, trust is a very, veeryy important factor in a relationship. If person A automatically sees that their S.O. is wearing clothing that is revealing and thinks that other people might try to approach them in a not so friendly way, then the person A needs to be sure to trust that their S.O. wont cheat. If they can't trust their S.O. to stay loyal, then I'd honestly question why they're even with them in the first place.

Communication is also key. Like I said earlier, if my S.O. was giving me no room to argue and basically told me to change no matter what, I wouldn't like it. It's a relationship not a dictatorship. If my S.O. was wearing something revealing and, for whatever reason I didn't like it, I'd either hint at it or just casually bring it up and then let them decide because at the end of the day, they are their own person.

Edited because I'm dumb and pressed post reply instead of preview post oops
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31 / M
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Posted 8/7/16
Even knowing someone worked as a stripper didn't prevent me from dating her.. Does that answer the question?

It's not about what she wears, but what she wants. A woman's desires don't change with her shirt: If she wants to cheat, she's going to; if she doesn't, she won't. That she wants to wear skimpy clothing when you're not around may be a sign of that desire, or may not be.

I know, I'm really helpful.
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25 / M / Gotham City
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Posted 8/7/16
I believe you should take into consideration what your significant other thinks. While it is ultimately the wearer's decision, without at least considering the thoughts of the person you claim to care for, then I think you're being selfish and you probably don't value their opinion - which should be very important in a relationship. If you can't even think about things from their viewpoint, you probably shouldn't be together.
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20 / F
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Posted 8/7/16
If I'm being brutally honest, I think you need to chill about this. You say that you only have a problem with her wardrobe if you aren't there with her while she wears it. I don't think you really blatantly think of it this way, but you sound overly possessive of her. Let her wear what she wants. If my gf were to tell me what to wear because it was "too scandalous", I would explain to her that what I wear does not make me more or less sexually promiscuous or unfaithful and that simply put my agency over what I wear is mine alone. Of course there is something about the situation, I'm not wearing a crop top to a funeral or a wedding or a ballroom dance, but if it's not something with an explicit dress code it should never be a big deal. Besides, if it makes your gf happier with her body and proud of it I think that's a great thing, many girls have insecurities about their bodies and wearing something a little daring can really boost confidence. Of course, a healthy relationship is about honesty, if you are uncomfortable and you want to have a talk about it, go for it and prepare to listen to what she has to say, just remember at the end of the day what she wears is her decision and should stay that way. I don't mean to sound too harsh I just hope you understand where I'm coming from, good luck and I hope everything works out ^.^
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20 / F
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Posted 8/7/16

Girls if you are in a relationship and you want to wear revealing clothes knowing your significant other doesnt like it, then who are you really trying to dress for?


Myself.
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32 / Somewhere...
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Posted 8/7/16 , edited 8/7/16

Crazy_Monster wrote:

Girls if you are in a relationship and you want to wear revealing clothes knowing your significant other doesnt like it, then who are you really trying to dress for?



First, I don't have to give an explanation for anything that I wear.

Second, and to address the OP, I'm fortunate to be married to someone who would never say yay or nay. He realizes that I dress for myself, and he does the same. We encourage each other to do so. The moment a man ever told me otherwise, in the past, that relationship was over. Respect goes both ways, and if you have a problem with how a woman dresses, whether you are there or not , then the problem is yours. If you don't trust your mate, then why? It's not about the clothes. It should never be about what she's wearing.
Posted 8/7/16 , edited 8/7/16
Here's a good article that supports what I have mentioned earlier:

Who Do We Dress Up For — Other Women, Men Or Ourselves? The Great Debate

As much as people say that they dress for themselves, it's really not as simple as that. We dress to communicate. This is why we don't care for walking around in our underwear at home nor do we care to get changed on days we don't go out and meet other people. It's because there's really no reason for it. No one will see. No one will say anything. But when we go out, we want to make a statement. We want people to notice us and to have a certain impression of us. We wear what we want others to see us as. So a girl in a relationship going out in an outfit put together to attract male attention cannot say she doesn't want attention. That's total bullshit. As I've said, we all know what we want to achieve when we get dressed. Even using the excuse of an outfit giving confidence is pretty silly because it's really not the outfit that gives confidence, but the attention and response it gets from its target audience.

P.S. I actually find it pretty funny when girls get defensive over how they dress and use the "I can wear whatever I want" statement. I mean... yeah, that's totally true. You can wear whatever you want to wear, but that doesn't mean people should like it. If you can wear whatever you want, then people can also say whatever they want about what you wear. That kind of freedom of expression goes both ways unfortunately.
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